Jom Heboh and of being non-judgemental

Look, what big paws I have!

Aci tak kali nie nak buat entry bahasa melayu? Aci kottt....

There is a Jom Heboh event in KB this weekend. People have been talking about it since about 2-3 weeks ago, like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Mana-mana aku pergi org kata, "Jom Heboh nak mai Kelantan..pergi ke?" (of course la diorg tak ckp macam nie, tapi dalam loghat Kelantan diorg la).

So, of course, they just had to have it in the worst place in KB ever, in the stadium which is a shout's away (sepelaung jauhnya) from the hospital.

Serious, tak leh nak bayang macamana district hospital nak hantar kes. Macamana panicked first time father-to-be nak hantar bini nak bersalin kat labour room yang dlm 10 langkah dari stadium. Macamana org nak gi melawat saudara mara yang sakit. Korang nie tak leh ke considerate sikit.

Orang Kelantan pun satu - nak kata jakun, marah pulak. Tapi benda macam Jom Heboh pun nak heran. Best sangat ke queue carik parking and then berjalan dalam panas nak gi tgk org jual kopi Power Root dengan biskut Munchies? Dengar-dengarnya, nak keluar dari area Jom Heboh tu ambik masa berjam-jam stuck dalam traffic.

Of course, allergic-to-crowds me had absolutely no wish to be even 10km in proximity of it, tambah-tambah pulak postcall today. Even the green cases at the A&E were considerably less than usual - campur kes orang dah dapat gaji pulak tu.

Esok letih nak dengar cerita orang yang dengar cerita orang yang pergi pulak. Orang tu tak pergi, tapi dia dengar cerita dari orang yang tak pergi jugak, tapi orang tu dengar cerita dari orang yang pergi - betapa teruknya jam di KB hari tu.

Hm.

Anyway - just contemplating yesterday's call - I really think that the one thing that I find hardest to do is to be non judgemental.

When you see two scrawny 13 year-olds with wounds and bruises after falling off a motorbike - how irresponsible their parents are. When you see a case of a young malay male who fell off his bike at 3 am, that they must be rempits. When you see a 17 year-old unmarried girl coming to labour room - that how morally loose she is.

I personally find it hard to accept things as they are - two boys with wounds for dressing, or a fracture to be splinted or a baby to be delivered. How uncomplicated would life be if we could accept things without making our own assumptions.

But that is how we are, I guess. Or, that is how I am - my sisters think that I tend to think bad of people (bersangka buruk) - I suppose it's because I often see bad things - or perhaps I have become too jaded to see the good in people.

Yesterday morning there was a police case where they had brought in a young girl and a young man whose car skidded as they were trying to get away from being nabbed. Apparently the accident happened at about 6 am and someone had written down in the red medicolegal card that the reason policemen gave chase was that they were acting suspiciously in the car.

Immediately I made an assumption about what happened.

The girl ended up with a dislocated hip and had to endure the excruciating pain for 5 hours before I saw her and suspected the injury. She told me that she had just completed her assignment and was getting a ride home with her (male) friend from childhood - 'Dia kawan saya dari kecik lagi'. The reason he sped away from the police was because he didn't have a valid driving license.

So, as I was clerking her case - I thought WHAT IF what she said was the truth? That the boy is her closest friend from young and their relationship is more of a brother-sister type and that he is just doing her a favour by picking her up in a car despite not having a valid driving license. She could be lying to me but I would have been a better person to assume good rather than bad.

But of course, benda yang baik susah nak buat.....

Truth be told.....

...sometimes I think I have become too old to be a doctor.


Denny summarising how I usually feel postcall period.


Seriously.

It was a really bad call last night. Clinic was unsatisfying due to the fact that due to the absence of the boss, I couldn't really decide on whether I should get the procedure arranged or whether the patient needed further work up. It was pretty quiet in the afternoon, which should have warned me that a rocky night lies ahead of me.

So I ended up with an intra abdominal injury, a guy who broke almost all the fingers in his hand and both bones of his forearm, another who basically smashed his shin bone, a guy whose bone of the big toe peeped out of his wound and the icing on the cake, a 'mat lalok' who broke basically half of his jaw.

It was at 3 am this morning when I was contemplating that perhaps I should take a different pathway to what I am doing now. Maybe I should give being a KK (Klinik Kesihatan) MO another try (urgh, I take that back - nggak mungkin walau seribu tahun lagi [no way, not in a thousand years]) - working office hours and having passive call can be rather attractive. I had just spent 5 minutes trying to elicit cervical tenderness in the almost unresponsive mat lalok and the xray was actually taunting me. I was exhausted to the bone, my throat had a bitter taste and I can barely keep my eyes open.

It is at times like these that I contemplate, 'Surely there is more to life than this!' - but as it has all the times before, the statement is thrown into the void that is the dark of the night - unanswered as it has been before.

Because I know, despite feeling that way at 3 am this morning, I will still wake up excited about getting to work. I love looking at an xray and figuring out ways I can make it better. I love the thrill of working out where I should place my incision, which plane I should be dissecting on and how I choose to close my incision. Despite having staples, time permitting, I would always prefer suturing my wounds. All these run through my head as I scrub myself clean.

So I persevere with being awake at 3 am when I have been working since 8 am the previous day because there is always hope that my next call will be a cool one. and even if it turns out to be equally 'jonah' - I hope to still have a sliver of hope and sense of humour to laugh it off and say, "Tis life!".

Clam Up, Zip It, Pipe Down

The reason I don't talk very much in the company of strangers is that I've learnt that people don't necessarily understand what you are really trying to say.

People hear but whether or not they get the real message depends not only on the words you are uttering but on the expression on your face, the volume of your voice and the speed you are saying it.

The other reason being that I've noticed people sometimes ask questions without really wanting to know the answer. Some call it being friendly or being sociable. It's called small talk.

Now me, I'm really bad at small talk. When I call people up, I don't spend 3 minutes asking how you are, how was the drive to work and all that rubbish. Unless THAT's the reason I'm calling you. So people think I am unfriendly or unsociable.

People can be rather fickle. They say they celebrate honesty. HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY, they say - yet when it smacks them in the face, and God forbid it if it was something that they don't want to hear - they call people who say it to them TACTLESS or BLUNT or INSENSITIVE.

When I was a houseman, I was called an idiot a few times. But I took it with a smile and brushed it away because I knew that I was an idiot back then. Afterall, I'd rather be called an idiot than irresponsible. The only time I cried after I was told off by a specialist was when she called me to her room asking for an explanation to why the discharge summary isn't ready. I remember that I had already completed it and I insisted that I did. She didn't believe me and told me to rewrite the discharge summary by asking for the history of the patient.

It turned out that I HAD completed it and they later found it somewhere beneath the paperwork. I actually went to see her and showed her the completed discharge summary, proving that I was not making excuses.

But I digress - so we humans are fickle and are almost always ruled by our emotions - which I guess is what makes us humans in the first place.

So I've learnt to never volunteer an opinion unless it warrants me to do so or when I am in the midst of people I really trust. The latter being that I hoped that these people will accept that regardless of what ZINGS may have flown from my mouth that I don't really say it with malice but more of letting of steam.

A rant of a disillusioned person...

I've started a few blog posts only to stop midway and scrap everything. How do I write something that won't show how disillusioned and bitter I am about how I find life and human nature is?

Optimists must be either deaf and blind because they sure aren't reading the papers or listening to the news. Kids as young as 11 have allegedly been found to force an 8 year-old to perform sexual acts. Babies are being dumped like yesterday's newspapers. We see a 3 year-old kid being kicked like a football and we do nothing - no one cared enough to get to know this family and now the kid is dead, suddenly EVERYONE has an opinion on who should have been blamed.

Sometimes I wish I am more oblivious to the goings on in this world.

Just digressing a little bit - I was on my way back after escorting a case of possible head injury and have not had dinner so we stopped by a roadside stall for a bite to eat. It was nearing midnight and the other tables were mostly young folks. However, the table nearest to us had a 2 year old kid with them and I was thinking, should a kid that young still be awake at this time of the day?

The case I escorted was a 12 year-old girl who was riding a motorbike with a friend. It was near Maghrib already and apparently was going out to buy a book. She fell off her vehicle and never regained full consciousness. We intubated her and sent her to HUSM for a CT scan. I told the mother that there is a reason licences are only allowed to people of a certain age - but as I left the mother in the waiting room near the Red Zone - I think I had again let my emotions get the best of me. I am sure she is already regretting letting her daughter on that motorbike that evening.

In the last week, we had a 13 year-old who came to us with his foot torn off at the ankle. I spent three hours reducing both bones of his ankle and another three fixing his loose joints and putting a skin graft on the wound. Everytime we had to inspect his wounds he was whimpering like a baby. I bet he felt like a hero riding on his motorbike before the accident.

In that same week, a 14 year-old was admitted for breaking his thigh bone - also due to an accident while he was riding his motocycle.

I know being a doctor means that I shouldn't be judgmental but being impartial is the most difficult aspect of my job. Most times I just want to shake some senses into parents who allow their young kids on motorbikes. I especially hate it when they claim to not realise when their child have creeped out without them knowing. Come on!

In the ward at the moment, there is a 17 year old boy who is basically a vegetable. He had been involved in a motor vehicle accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. He is now on a breathing tube on his neck and takes feedings via a tube from his nose into his stomach. When I received a request for a medical report involving a boy whom we intubated for poor GCS and had sent to HUSM, only did I remember that this was the same boy who was knocked down after going to buy breakfasts for his family.

His bed is covered with personal items from home. Often I would find a soft toy in the clutches of his motionless hands. Here is a boy who's just waiting to explore what life has to offer and he is now bed bound for the rest of his life. Instead of being able to take care of his parents, he has to rely on them still for the most basic of human functions.

I guess we never consider that such a thing can happen to us until it does happen.

Sometimes....

...this is what I feel like doing.




I think I am turning into a demophobe.

Main Entry:	demophobe
Part of Speech:	n
Definition:	a hater of people, esp. in crowds
Etymology:	Greek demos 'people'

But sometimes, I really can't stand people. Which, I guess, explains the cats.

Hmm.

Wanna hear something tragic?

Coming back from work - transporting cows - only to have your eye injured after being involved in a car crash with a - COW.

Seriously??

...and as of one minute ago, highest bid of RM135......

Weekend pondering

I wonder what changes people. Especially in matters of principles and religion.

What, for example, would change a demure conservative kampung girl into a wine-drinking, pissed-at-the-pub type. NOT that I know anyone like that. It is, an example, like I mentioned.

What drives a person, to do or decide to do something that has been instilled into him/her as wrong?

Stealing is wrong. Killing is wrong. - so you know you won't do it.

Is it any different with drinking or sleeping around? Surely the principle is the same.

Was it hard the first time you took that glass of wine in your hand and drank it, I wonder? For surely you have been raised a good Muslim - if not by your parents, then you were taught by your teachers.

Was it the pressure of friends, or were you simply curious or were you ashamed of being labelled a prude for not drinking? Maybe if you didn't join in the fun, bosses would pass you over for the promotion or project you were eyeing.

It is a hard thing to do to be a good Muslim nowadays.

Do you remember....

...when your parents start to appear a little bit smaller than how you used to imagine them to be?

My parents were always the people I looked up to when I was growing up. I remember being so proud when Ma would come to school to pick us up because I have always thought that she is way prettier than all the other mothers.

I remember how strongly Pa would grip my hand in his while we were crossing the road. I remember how strong he looked when he would sit by his desk at work and we would be in the pantry eating 'biskut kapalterbang'.

They appeared so sure and so tall and so big.


I went home recently and gave my mum a hug. She looked so sad and so frail, that I was sure I could hold her in the both of my hands.

I wondered then how it is that I could not see how fragile my Ma has become....

My bimboish moment...

We had just checked out of the hotel room where we spent the night courtesy of Abg's membership and Abg had gone to check us out and had told me to go to the car.

I got into the elevator and pressed B1 and a teenage boy got in and pressed 7 but the light didn't go on.

"You kena ada card kalau nak naik ke bilik" says I.

"Oh, kena slot mana?"

So I proceeded to show him and the lift door opened and I stepped out. With a reassuring, "Alright?" I strode purposefully towards the car park.

I turned left where I was sure Abg parked his car last night, stopping to admire a double digit plated, blue Mitsubishi Evo. Walked a little bit more and still couldn't find it.

'Must be in the other direction then' and so I walked.

Still no car.

I walked again in the opposite direction. 'Abg must have parked a bit further than I originally thought' - but no car.

A moment of panic rushed through me, 'Abg's car have been stolen!'

As I walked towards the elevators, it struck me - I should have gone one floor down in B2 where Abg REALLY parked his car.

Duh.

Bimboish moment over.

Love is.....

...coming back from work and finding your husband bent over a tray of roasted peanuts, shelling them individually (because you've never done it before and don't know the way to do it) because he knew you wanted to make 'kuah kacang' and you won't have time to start from scratch....

...stopping by your wife's 'oncall house' with two cendols, rojak perut and rojak buah because you know it will make her day...

...removing the prawns' shells before cooking meehun because you know your wife finds it cumbersome to do it while eating...

...cooking fried eggs with soya sauce and cili padi when your wife is too tired to cook post call...

...not minding ironing her clothes or when there are three whole baskets of laundry waiting to be folded because you know your wife is doing EOD calls...


....all the little things you do that you think I don't remember or think is significant enough..

Happy 6th Anniversary Abg.

On a more cheery note

Dedicated to a colleague who is so excited at seeing S/B preceeding his name for the first time ever. I know you will see how funny this clip is.

Egotistical me

How ironic it is, I was thinking this morning while I was having toast in the OT's pantry, that the brand name of the sweet prune 'asam' sitting on the microwave was EGO.

Because that was what I was called by a patient's relative in a heated discussion that ended up with me slamming the ward's door.

In fact, I slammed it with such rage that my colleague had difficulty opening the door when he was called to resuscitate a patient.

Sometimes I think I'm such a hypocrite. One moment I am a supporter of confrontation and laying it all out, yet sometimes when faced with such situation, all rationale goes out the window and I blame everything under the sun but the person I see in the mirror.

What I decided to do later that night was an easy decision to make, because I knew it was the right thing but in all honest truth, was one of the hardest thing I had to do. Even as I approached the patient's bed and reached out to tap her on her shoulder, I was in half a mind to turn away and run.

But I am glad I didn't because that would've made me a coward, one who zings people yet can't take the truth when it hit her on her face and I didn't want to be that person. My parents did not raise me to be that person and I would've woken up this morning ashamed of myself.

Yes it was painful and I was humbled - perhaps he was right, that I am an egotistical human.

Hooray!!!!

Kudos to the Selangor govt for taking this initiative. I've always believed that Malaysians tend to use more plastic bags than it is good for the environment.



Of course IKEA started their Save the Environment campaign much earlier by charging for their bags and TESCO gave incentives in the form of points when customers reused bags when grocery shopping.

It is sad though that we need incentives in the money form before actually getting off our butts to do something about it. I've always heard people saying, "Ah, if you're the only one who does it, what difference will it make?" - maybe not but at least I will have a clear conscience.



My shopping trolley - bag from Popular, Molnlycke, Toko Tiga Bandung, Marks and Spencer (good for the wet stuff) and GSK.

But I do have to gloat that I've been reusing bags for quite some time. All those drug companies are just giving away good sturdy bags at conferences and symposiums. Why not put them to good use?

If you had magic powers.....

......don't you ever wonder what you would do?

I would make it so that rubbish that get thrown out of windows of cars fly back into the vehicle and preferably get stuck on the face of the person who threw it in the first place.

I would magically drain out the air from all the tyres of cars who stupidly park right at a junction, or even facing a junction.

I would make disappear cars who double park and obstruct the flow of traffic.

I would make a sign appear on the windshield, for people who don't signal before deciding to decelerate - which says, "Bagi signal la moron!" Similar to slowpokes who decide they just can't be bothered to drive on the left hand lane - "Ikut kiri kalau bawak macam siput!"

Whether or not I add an expletive will depend on my mood that day.

If you had magic powers, what would you do?

Bye bye 2009

I wonder what it is that compels us to be reflective at the end of the year. Perhaps it is the increase in the number that shocks us into realising that time has passed by and we haven't done as much good as we possibly can in the past 365 days.

To me, the year has been a pretty good year. I don't remember a lot of downs - but maybe that's just me, despite the grumpy person I am, I tend to forget bad things rather quickly.

Career-wise has been pretty good. Despite still not wanting to pursue a masters programme, I can finally plate a femur bone myself (did one - skin incision to skin closure - within an hour, a personal record which I haven't been able to break since), K-nailed numerous femurs, and can totally be left alone doing carpal tunnel and trigger finger releases.

After about 8 years of working in various specialties, including a stint in a KK, I can safely and surely say that SHOULD I decide to take a Masters programme, it will be something that I enjoy rather than something that I had ended up in just because it was my final posting of my housemanship. Or, even worse, something I am taking up just because the work is easy and allows me to be home when oncall.

I am thankful that I haven't had much trouble financially. Finally got myself to acquire a property, much to Ma's relief. This year, money seems to come in from unexpected sources, Alhamdulillah. I have been able to travel a bit, something that I hope can continue this year.

On a more personal level - there's still only the two of us. I am happy with my uncomplicated life - so far. I hope my relationship with Abg for the past year had been more than simply two adults tolerating each other just because they're married.

Yup, it has been a very good year indeed, and here's to an even better one in 2010!

Grumpy post

Excuse me, but I am postcall and I am irritable today.

Someone had named their baby ISAAC and I got to thinking if there is anything wrong with ISHAK. Tak cukup glamer kot. Kang dah besar, spoil pulak kalau member dia pakat panggil anak dia SAHAK je. Ah well, your kid, your choice I guess. Iskandar is Alexander. Yusof is Joseph. Whatever.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was trying to get my ATM card replaced at a Bank Islam in UM when I came across a banner with this word on it: FI. Tiada FI tahunan.

Seriously, FI?

What was wrong with the word YURAN?

I am kicking myself now for not taking a picture of that banner.

Somewhat closer to home, a boarding school near home had an even weirder word: KLUSTER. KLUSTER Sekolah Cemerlang. Hello...? Kelompok not hip enough for you izzit?

Where do you people come up with words like this?


So much for memartabatkan bahasa Melayu.

Told you I was irritable.

Where oh where...

...has my Ciku gone?



We went to KL for a weekend break, and to welcome Ma home from her pilgrimage. Arrived at FIL's house late on Monday and according to Abg, Ciku was well and jumping all over the place, as Ciku is known to do.

The next day when I went to let them out, Ciku looked listless and was sitting on the floor. Which, if anyone knew Ciku, would immediately suspect something is wrong.

Anyway, I left him be, hoping some fresh air would do him good. I chatted with Abg and the next minute Ciku was nowhere to be found. I went all around the house and couldn't see him anywhere. Ciku never leaves the compound. There is nothing that Ciku loves best than getting himself all caught up in my clothes, and getting his head in my handbag so if there was anywhere Ciku would go is into the house but nope, he was missing.

and he hasn't returned.

Someone told me once that cats will never die in front of their owners. I'm not sure how true that is but Ibu Kutip whom I brought home with two kittens from work never left the porch. She was old; I can tell by the lack of teeth in her mouth. One day she just disappeared. I know she didn't get hit by a vehicle because Ibu Kutip never goes to the road.

I wish I hadn't let Ciku out of his cage yesterday. Perhaps he would still be with us today. Now, who would I cuddle when things are stressing me out? Ciku is my only cat who seem to recognise his own name, never failing to mew back when I call it out.

Be well, Ciku and come home....

Edisi lepas geram

If it is one thing that I hate, it's confrontation but I think sometimes it is just inevitable.

It is a pity that we live in a society that prefers to talk behind someone's back rather than say it out loud in front of the person we have a problem with. I used to watch MTV's Real World and would be impressed by the way how the Mat Salleh's could lay it all out and settle things once and for all.

A staff at the hospital had been trying to get us to write a memo about her relative's condition. All this while she had been passing the message to us via the staff at the clinic so we told our staff to tell her that we would like to speak with her ourselves and could she please call us?

But no call came and apparently one day Her Royal Highness came huffing and puffing to the clinic and lay her fiery wrath towards my staff and got another MO to write the memo.

Yang aku peliknya, if she was so mad, she had passed my partner on the way into the clinic and she didn't say a word! Kalau nak marah, marah directla weh. Don't let it out on the staff - they were basically following orders.

So I called her the next day. As she wasn't in, I got her staff to pass the message that I was looking for her. Did she have the courtesy to call me back? Nooooo - I had to call her back and this time she was in. Aku tau la kau pakai baju biru and kau rasa kau lagi tua dari aku - memang pun kau lagi tua sebenarnya and sebab kau tua la kau dah hilang pertimbangan kan.

When I told her off (nicely, mind you) she went on to sulk mode and merajuk ngn aku la pulak. Aku nak marah pun tak jadik. Tah pape tah. Nak mintak tolong org tapi nak suruh org pulak cari dia....bengong.

Tu la masalahnya bila kerja district hospital - it is full with old dinosaurs who think just because they have worked there for yonks, that they own the hospital and are exempted from having manners and courtesy. and one more thing, just because kau pakai baju hijau atau baju biru, it doesn't give you the right to be nasty to your lower ranking staff, ok?

Sometimes....

...I wish I can lay caution to the wind and spend all my savings on the things that I WANT rather than the things that I NEED.

LASIK surgery so that I won't bother with glasses anymore.

A holiday to the UK with Abg.

A Prada handbag, much like the one Sandra Bullock was using in The Proposal.


taken from My Women Stuff

Staying in the most expensive hotel in town whenever I'm on holiday.

A solitaire necklace and a tennis bracelet.

One can dream, yes?

My post Raya on call rant...

Being on call on a Raya in Kelantan is just an invitation into insanity, but someone has to do it, and I'd rather be on the first Raya than the second.

Kelantan, being the Malay dominated state it is, has absolutely NO clinic open on Raya. It is equally impossible looking for an eating place as looking for a private clinic. Hence, the madness that is the hospital's casualty department.

It was rather quiet during the day - funnily enough on other days when you may have up to ten yellow babies waiting to have their levels of jaundice checked, on Raya there are absolutely none. All we had were people with abdominal pain and headache and giddiness.

The madness started about half eight-nine pm. People popping by would have thought that we were having a year end sale or an open house judging by the number of cars and patients and kids jumping about in our waiting area.

I heard people who registered at 9 were only seen at midnight. and they ALL waited. For mundane trivial things like a runny nose and an itchy foot and an upset stomach. My poor MAs finished seeing them all at about 4 am.


This has become the norm that no one complains anymore. Of course we still do see a few unreasonable idiots who insist that their relatives are more ill than the kid who ended up being intubated but making a fuss WILL NOT make us see you any faster, so unless the patient is blue in the face, that kid will be our priority and not you and your three week cough and not taking your heart medication for the past 5 years. If you cannot be bothered to care about your health, tell me if other people should?

On an even more depressing note, Ibu Milo's litter has now been reduced to only three. The three smaller kittens have died, for seemingly no apparent reason. I have seen watery stool with worms in the cage so maybe that is the cause. Six was too many for poor Ibu anyway.

Just passing time...

Of all the names you can come up with for a supplement....



By the by, I was doing wound debridement and insertion of a Steinman pin on a 16 year old who was carrying a friend on a bike and ended up breaking a femur each, when Abg called to tell me that Ibu Milo's smallest kitten has died.

I sort of expected it - it has been having a wet bottom the past few days and Abg said it vomited this morning - but it still doesn't make it less painful. Having 5 other bigger siblings and being the smallest of the bunch doesn't help with your survival chances, I guess. But life sure is simple in the animal world. Being strong and big and healthy means you live and vice versa. There are no sly tricks or cheats to help you along.

It certainly makes it hard when you are always rooting for the underdog.....or in this case, undercat?

Musim banjir sudah tiba wehhh....

This was the view that greeted me yesterday morning as I opened my bedroom window. and It is even worse today. I wonder if that small road overlying the small calvert that passes water from one paddy field to another has collapsed yet? Then I might have to abandon my partner and let him plate that femur by himself.

Ibu Milo

I am postcall, though by right, I don't think what I had last night should be considered being oncall. All I did was insert a peritoneal dialysis and escort a 28 weeker to NICU and after lounging in the oncall room for about 20 mins, went to see what my oncall partner is up to.

Turns out he was just lounging around in the drivers' room and we spent the following hour yakking about nurses and student nurses and such.

The baby's bilirubin which had been 430 previously came down to 379 and I went to bed a happy cat and woke up with the Azan before freshening up and doing rounds for the Ortho cases.

It is the monsoon season again. Sometimes, when I am in my car, with the airconditioning on, I look at the grey skies and feel the chill on my skin and it's almost as if I am back in dreary Belfast.


View from the 2nd floor in HTM.

The holes which turned up during the last monsoon which was resurfaced has turned up again - with even more vengeance than the last, I seriously think - and because of the rain water covering the said holes, one has to be even more careful when driving; I had a headache focusing on holes and avoiding pools of water on the road.


I brought back a family of cats about two weeks ago.

I was in a course when my nurse called me up and mentioned kittens. When I went to look, they were in fact mummy cat with 5 newborns, looking much like giant baby rats. The box they were in was already soggy from the rain. I left them be, only periodically coming by to feed mummy cat with the kibbles I keep in my car for purposes like these.

A few days later, staff at the A&E Department called me and told me about 'the most beautiful bunch of kittens ever' - maybe if they stressed on the word beautiful, that I would immediately take the cats home. Turns out it was mummy cat relocating, sans one kitten. We searched high and low for it - luckily a Radicare worker found it in the bin. Talk about having nine lives.

Incidentally, another staff mentioned that she saw kids playing with kitten in a box in front of the Peads ward. Out of curiousity, I went to look.

It was a tiny kitten, about the size of my palm and it was just sleeping in the box. I didn't see any mummy cat around. So I brought it home and now mummy cat has 6 kittens.



They have opened their eyes and just discovering that they have legs. Occasionally I see them playing with each other, unaware of the fact that mummy cat is still restless surrounded by my other cats that she still snarls when one of them comes over to say hello.

I've called the mummy cat Ibu Milo - she is white with splodges of chocolate. I don't really know why I name my cats - they don't respond to their names anyway.



Happy Aidil Adha everyone.

Post call rambling

Nothing is as satisfying as seeing the two bits of bone clicking into place as you manipulate a limb.

Seriously.

My partner in Ortho and my boss went off for a symposium in KB today and the boss had posted a case of fracture femur on the elective list. Now, I had done plating of a femur before but always with my partner and in all the previous times, he had done the reduction.

One never realises how difficult it is to reduce a fracture site until one does it him/herself. My partner makes it look so easy. I am starting to feel the dull ache in my biceps and triceps after pulling on the two parts of the broken bone. Thank goodness I had my two trusty MAs who, unlike me, were not postcall and were in a better shape to do all the traction and countering.

However, nothing is as irritating as having your patient sent back to ward because a caesarian section trumps everything else in OT land, and then having to wait 30 minutes before that patient finally arrives and having to listen to her scream for 10 mins because she wanted to pee in a toilet instead of into a bag.

And also, having to wait 2 hours for an appendectomy to finish because your makcik had been fasting since 4 am and it was already 6 pm and you just didn't have the heart to cancel her case. So, there I was suturing a piece of skin graft on a diabetic foot at 7pm on a postcall day.

You just have to love your work, I say.

A holiday story

I was in Indonesia recently, for my final holiday of the year, and on my last day, I managed to watch something on their local TV.

Basically, they had this actor going around asking passers by for a cloth in exchange of a bundle of old newspapers that she had.

Apparently she has a child at home and she needs it to protect her child from the cold of the night. They recorded her approaching these people and they all gave an excuse or another; one just simply changed the topic completely and totally ignored her request.

The actor was never pushy, and always said, "It's okay if you can't help me." and none of them did. Until the last person she came to.

This lady was carrying her child in a 'sarung' wrapped around her body, like you may see some Indonesian bibiks do with children under their care.

When the actor asked to 'borrow' her sarung, in exchange for the newspapers, she hesitated for just one moment before saying yes. When the actor asked her, "But won't your child cry?", she shook her head and proceeded to untie the cloth from around her body and gave it to the actor.

These two chatted and we discovered that the lady is a single mother (Don't know where my husband went, she said) and she makes a living by selling rice in her kampung. It is obvious that she was also poor and did not have much.

Her child did cry and so this pretender wanted to give it back but this lady said "Ngga apa, ambil lah" [It's okay, just take it] and turned her child and distracted him with something from her basket and passed the sarung from behind her back.

Seriously, here my eyes started to well up. I had a microwaved instant meal in front of me and immediately lost my appetite.

The actor then left the scene and the generous lady walked home. The camera crew followed her home and then showed a staff from the TV show knock on her door.

When she came out, he asked her if she had indeed given away her sarung to a stranger? When she said yes, the guy asked her, "Did you just lend it to her or simply gave it to her" and she replied "She told me that she wanted to borrow it, but if I don't get it back, it's ok".

Then the TV staff took out a bunch of bank notes and just pushed them into her hands and said, "Because you are so generous and helped a total stranger, this is some money for you" and quickly walked away.

and Do you know what this lady did? She actually ran down the lane, chased after the guy and wanted to return the money!

"Apakah maknanya ini Pak?" [What is the meaning of this?] - She kept repeating as she tried to return the cash.

"It's a little token of appreciation for your kindness and generosity" the guy said before leaving.

As the TV programme ended, it showed how she used the money to buy 'keropok' to sell around her neighbourhood and some rice and treats for her child.

Basically, I was in tears, and Abg was speechless.

In a world where people die after wanting to help people after they're mugged, where politicians only care for the size of their pockets and you think everyone is out to cheat you (or maybe that's just me, hahaha) - this really gave me a wake up call.

One, I am really lucky. I am lucky that I have great parents who gave me all the comfort of life and guidance so I may make the right decisions in life. I had great teachers who inspired me to do well and taught me how to. I have friends who made the journey so much more enjoyable. I found my soul mate (who may be suffering quietly and I know is reading this - despite all that, I love you Abg!) and I have a job that I (most of the time) love.

Really, if I think about it, there is nothing else that I need!

(Well, a smaller number on the weighing scale wouldn't hurt, hehe)

Secondly, poverty is some thing that people tend to take for granted, especially when you don't come across it on a day to day basis. While I was there, they even had reality TV shows where they feature three people and showed the state of their homes, and let the public vote via SMS on who should receive a new house!

Kids, as young as my niece were hanging about factory outlets, selling newspapers - and on rainy days, held out umbrellas to shield you from the rain as you walked from one store to the other for the smallest amount of money.

People were so happy to receive a 37sen tip that I was ashamed that that was all we gave them.

I kept thinking of the green-shirted Ibu, and remain touched by her kindness. I wonder, if I were in her shoes, would I have done the same?

and I become hopeful, despite my jadedness of what the world has become, knowing that there still exists kind people who are willing to help other people for nothing in return, in the world.

Sucker for a lost cause

Another of my little strays died today.

Hmm.

As bitter and jaded as I can be, I'm just a sucker for abandoned cats. Everytime they die due to some illness, I tell Abg that that will be the last time. Abg will just look at me with a little twinkle in his eye for he knows that the next time I come across a mange covered scruffy little thing at the hospital's walkway or at the canteen, it will be riding in my silver Kenari home.

Two weeks ago I came across a small kitty near the lab. It was about half six and I had just finished operating on some limb. She came running to me as I called to her. She was as ugly as anything - thin, bloated worm-infested tummy and covered in scabs of mange. I put her on the front passenger seat and there she sat quietly as I drove home.

I applied the mange medication that I always have ready at home, gave her a bowl of kibbles and placed a hot water bottle to keep her warm in the cage.

In the course of the next few days, most of her scabs fell off and she looked much much better. Once I let her play in the house and she spent an hour pawing at a piece of string hanging from the ironing board.

As we were leaving for a holiday, I left her for boarding at the clinic nearby.

When I went to get her, she just looked ill. Foam was dripping from her lips and she resembled nothing like the kitten I left a week before. The vet assistant actually had the nerve to reassure me, saying it was a natural reaction to a deworming medication.

She died the next morning.

So I cried a few tears and apologised, as I always do with all the kittens I couldn't save. and I vowed to never take in another stray for it to break my heart again.

Aksi kucing terlampau

I always tell Fizzy (yes, I talk to my cats) that he is one of the luckiest cats around. To think if we hadn't stopped at the Pasar Ramadhan three Rayas ago - it was drizzling and usually we'd avoid places like that during bad weather - we wouldn't have found him huddled up under a car which had just driven away from a parking space we were eyeing.



Now he is an extremely fat cat who likes to sleep in between our legs. Anytime he catches us sleeping in the prone position, he would immediately plop himself there and make himself comfy till we push him away.



All he does is eat, sleep, walk around the house like he's the boss and then eat and sleep some more. He sleeps on our bed at night, unless Abg's sister is back for the holidays and then she drags him to sleep with her instead.


With our other sweetheart, Bubu who is no longer with us.


Tidur lagi.


Tidur jugak, tapi posisi tutup muka.


Nie tak tau posisi apa - posisi peluk kaki kot.


Fizzy accompanying me FaceBooking.

Did I not tell you he loves to sleep?

Kitty update

It's been a while since I last wrote about my furkids. Sometimes work can be overwhelming that I start to neglect everything. I can't remember the last time I ironed Abg's shirts, in fact sometimes, he does the ironing for me. I am spoilt.

Seriously.

Anyway, a staff nurse at the labour room offered two of her kittens to me about 2 weeks before Ramadhan. I was hesitant at first. I've always made it a point to not take in kittens who already have homes, but on the other hand, I was pretty chuffed that she would consider giving her kittens to me. I know I wouldn't be able to give away any of my cats - regardless of how anti social, or untoilet trained they are and even if I had to, I would ensure their future owners would adore and love my cats as much if not more than I do.

So, Qisty and Betty joined our already mad household.


Qisty - the tortie


Betty - the black spot is not a grease stain by the way.

Betty fell very ill during the week after Raya. She was moping and refusing to eat, and whenever she was resting, her third eyelid would cover almost half of her eyes. We took her to the vet and I made sure she was drinking and kept feeding her high calorie gels. I put her indoors, in a box with hot water bottles to keep her warm. Every night I would say to Abg, "I don't think Betty will make it to the next morning" and every morning she would still be alive.


Muka budak sakit.


Tak larat sangat dah nie.

After the 4th day, I opened my bedroom door and Betty just ran right in! and now, about a week after, she's been running all over the place. Still a bit thin but at least she's eating. She is now very attached to us and would never leave our sides for long.

Qisty on the other hand, runs away like lightning when we approach her. We have to resort to bribing her with freshly boiled fish in order to get her into her cage.

Anyway, apparently my 'anak-anak dara' - Nafas, Malisa, Mini Me and Cinta - has been seen socialising with the stray tomcat. Me thinks its time for a visit to the vet soon.

Of being non-judgemental....

I haven't forgotten to blog, really. It's just that the hospital has blocked certain sites on the server including the blogspots.

Thoughts usually come to me during the lull in between dawn and the end of the oncall period. I like to ponder upon the patients I saw and how I was with them. Not having an internet connection for me to put my thoughts in cyberspace has been such a damper.

I have to admit, I am not the friendliest doctor. I used to be, when I just joined the hoolabaloo about 7 years ago, all naive and innocent; sometimes I wonder whether it was really that bad that I have become so jaded and disillusioned by it all.

I had a patient last week, who had a history of heart problem. She had been followed up at the Physician's Clinic and had been advised for bypass grafting but she had refused.

She was brought into our casualty at 5 am severely distraught, literally screaming for every breath. Apparently she had had two days of on and off chest pains and had persevered at home. Fifteen minutes later she flatlined. Her son adamantly ordered us to stop our resuscitation efforts.

Later, her daughter approached us and told us that they had gone to the KK and no one responded. I wasn't really sure what she wanted to tell us actually. Was she implying that if someone at the KK had seen and attended to her, that maybe her mother could be saved? I told her I couldn't comment but she has to understand, by refusing the operation, her mother was simply a walking time bomb. The daughter did not look appeased, I have to say. I never had the magic way with words.

When I was working in the OPD, I met many patients who had been admitted time and time again for chest pains and was advised for angios and further work up of their heart problem. They would smile at me and say, "Takpe la doktor, berasa segar lagi nie.." and I would say, "No, it is when you are well that you should get everything checked out. When you are grabbing your chest and could not even lie still for an ECG, you are basically leaving your life to chance."

Yet, they would smile again and say thank you after I have written their monthly medications. Thank you for what I wonder. For letting you leave my room and wait for the next attack of chest pains?

In a way, I have a lot of respect for MOs who are in charge of OPDs - those who are really committed towards making sure that their patients are thoroughly educated and making an informed choice. How do you cope with stressing the same thing over and over again and still have your patients come in with hay wire blood pressures and blood sugars? At least when I plate a femur, I can see the proof in the check x-ray post operatively.

HTM's Ortho team have been pretty washed out the past week. We expected it to be bad, but not this bad. Broken femurs (thigh bones) have been wheeled in almost daily and my boss have resorted to doing them 2-3 days post trauma rather than have the patients on traction as we normally would. I can still feel the ache in my arms after reducing the fracture of this 80+kg man a few days ago.

Yesterday, a scrawny kid of 12 was riding his motorbike and collided with a jeep. He broke his femur rather badly and sustained a HUGE wound over his shin with his broken shin bone peeping nicely under all that mess. He was whining as I was changing his blood-soaked bandages; saying how I was rough and pulled his leg too hard. You can safely assume that I had many things to say at the tip of my tongue, all with complaint-letter-to-Pengarah inducing potential. I was rather proud when I left his bedside in silence. I honestly think one of the hardest things about being a doctor is to not be judgemental.

Never mind that another kid who broke his wrist last week was riding a motorbike and ran through a red light. I bluntly told him to run though another red light and get hit by a trailer next time; I attempted to soften my sentence with my sarcastic smile but it was lost on both kid and his mother.

Ho hum.

I'm sure there was a point of this blog entry but it seems to have gotten lost somewhere. Perhaps I will make better sense in my next entry, whenever that will be.

You never know.....

how useful your side mirror is until you break it.

Driving back from work has been absolute hell. Now that you stupid inconsiderate drivers have clogged up the roads by forming two lanes on a one laned road, there are even more stupid drivers who think they can be clever by overtaking using other people's lane! Kau ingat kau sorang ke nak cepat?

It's safe to say that I made full use of my horn for those stupid drivers yang dgn muka tak malunya amik lane aku nak potong an already jammed, almost unmoving traffic.

Bodoh.

7 hours and 2 cakes later.....

...and I think I am feeling better.

Out of the seven deadly sins, which one do you think is the deadliest? Is there such a thing as a deadly sin being deadlier than the other?

There is WRATH, ENVY, LUST, GLUTTONY, PRIDE, ANGER, GREED and SLOTH. I was chatting to a friend and I remarked that I personally think ENVY is the worst of them all. Without envy, you will not get greedy about accumulating wealth, or be angry that someone is richer than you and be proud when you are richer than the person living next to you.

Perhaps I've got the concept wrong, but I think it all starts with being envious. I was trawling through FB (something that I really should stop wasting my time on, since there isn't much on it apart from looking at other people's VIRTUAL farms) and people are driving beemers, and having gorgeous houses that should belong in between the pages of Impiana and flying off to exotic countries for the sake of their careers. For a second, I felt envious.

Well, to be honest, it lasted more than a second and I wasted a few hours of my life being up there on my angry cloud, lamenting on how my life should be more exciting. That I should be driving a bigger car, or have a nicer house or own a Prada handbag or two.

and then I thudded to the ground - reality check. I thought about that Thalassemia patient, whose Hari Raya clothes were bought by her teacher and who could barely scrape enough money just to get her blood levels checked at the hospital. I remember a child who was admitted for pneumonia who was wearing clothes that looked worse than my dishrags. I remember that pakcik whose knees hurt so much that he could barely walk, yet despite us insisting that we could get him financial help on the prosthesis, is still thinking twice about it because he couldn't afford to pay for the hospital admission.

I remember a particular kakak who lived deep in the kampung that she has to pay a 'kereta sapu' RM50 just to get the family screened for TB at the hospital after her husband died from it - an RM50 that a lot of us take for granted yet this woman can barely pay.

So I will drive my battered Kenari because it still serves its function as a vehicle carrying me from point A to point B. So I don't own an Aryani or a Ratu or Fareeda or whatever-the-current-trend is tudung because I still own a drawerfull of plain bawal headscarfs because it still covers my aurat no matter how cheap or out of date they are.

I will think of these people that I have met and I will remind myself to stop being envious of things that I don't have but to be thankful for the things that I do have.

and with that, a more cheerful Selamat Hari Raya everyone.

Of exhaustion and a blocked nose...

The Facebook is akin to witnessing a horrifying accident, complete with torn up limbs and severed heads. You don't really want to watch but you look anyway. It's just the voyeur in all of us. You know you will probably hate what you see but you just HAVE TO.

I do find it 'amusing' reading status updates saying so and so is going to bed now, or that he/she will be going shopping. Perhaps some people find that interesting, I don't know.

Apart from being exhausted, I've also got a cold. My throat is dry as I am breathing through my mouth. I have barely spoken 10 words to my husband, an indication that my call has gone really badly and I know I am in a bad mood because I am on leave tomorrow and that doesn't cheer me up.

Perhaps it is the coming festivities. I've long learnt that festive occasions are more appreciated by people with kids, not for a jaded auntie with 13 cats. If not for Abg, I would be celebrating it by sitting in front of my Wii, surrounded by my furkids.


I started this post with a long rant in my head but I guess it's not worth it. I figure I am just feeling sorry for myself after that particularly bad call.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone.

Post call blues

There are calls that when I am off home, I feel satisfied, knowing that my patients are okay and are getting the treatment that they should.

and There are calls that I've left feeling exhausted and depressed.

Yesterday's was one of those.

The 60 plus pakcik had been unstable since the night before and he was already very ill by the time I reviewed him yesterday morning.

Unsurprisingly his condition deteriorated. Nothing I did appeared to help and the worst thing was I didn't really know what was wrong with him.

Finally I told his wife that there was nothing much that I can offer. He passed away at about half eight this morning and I'm left feeling dejected - was it my ignorance or lack of knowledge that contributed towards his demise? I hope not, but I am feeling pretty down nevertheless.

An oncall story

I was oncall last night. My partner had a horrendous one where he couldn't sleep much due to the trickling in of cases all throughout the night. Hence I was not in the best of moods when I started to be on call.

During the early evening, it was pretty quiet. There was a patient waiting to be wheeled into the ward, an elderly pakcik who was being nebulised, and an anime character look-a-like who looked like he was about to collapse from exhaustion and fever.

I was told pakcik requested to be admitted. Apparently he was fit to be allowed home. The male ward was already one bed short of being full and I wanted to save the bed for someone who really needed it, rather than someone who thinks he needed it.

Despite being told that he could go home, pakcik threw a fit and sulked. Apparently he sat on the floor and dragged himself all over the place and finally went outside at the waiting area. One of the security guards then actually wheeled him in again later that night, put him on stretcher number three and there he stayed for the rest of the night.

Needless to say, pakcik had a better sleep than me despite having construction work going on merely a few feet away.

The next morning after sahur, I went to clerk a case of abdominal mass (since when abdominal mass of 8 months is an emergency, seriously lah) and pakcik was still there.

and I wondered, how bad can it be that this pakcik would rather sleep on a stretcher in an emergency department, rather than go home?

How time flies....

SHAKEEL







AYES














HANNAH










No wonder I feel so old.

Pet peeve

Noted during patient registration at casualty while on call last night:

DAFFYEENA AMMALIEYN AIESYYA

Why why why??????

I'm going to start a campaign against the wastage of vowels in kids' names soon.

Things that were left unsaid

To my sister who got married a few weeks ago, Selamat Pengantin Baru. I am writing here the words that were left unspoken in all the chaos that was your wedding. You know how it is; no matter how prepared our mother is, she will always find something to do at the very last minute and end up being very very hassled.

I love you Ma, but you are what you are and those are the things that makes you, you and we love you nevertheless.

I am jotting down here little things that I wanted to say but ended up being masked behind silly remarks while clowning around. Things that you may want to take to heart or maybe not; it doesn't really matter for these are things that you may go through yourself but I think I should mention because I am your big sister after all.

I will not go as far as calling them words of wisdom, for I know, with only 5 years of marriage, wisdom is far from what I have.

Enjoy your married life. Enjoy the companionship, the love and laughter that will definitely adorn your lives from now onwards. I hope the man you married is not just your lover but also your best friend; someone who will not judge you for making a harmless remark on someone who was mean to you but who will accept it as a part of the person you are.

I hope he will share your happiness and also your sorrow, who will hold your hand until the pain has passed.

Have at hand bucketfuls of love and affection, tonnes of sense of humour and unlimited patience - there will come a day when you will have your first big argument and I hope during these times that you do not ponder on all the things that are bad but to concentrate on the things that are good. Having had a few big arguments ourselves, I know that that is easier said than done but try anyway.

Take time to enjoy each other - to celebrate all that you have in common and to appreciate those that you don't. Have respect for each other's opinion, no matter how radically different it can be. Afterall, someone who agrees with you all the time can be pretty boring after a few months.

Always find time to make each other feel special, no matter how hectic life can be. The gestures doesn't have to be grand or OTT but small things can make a difference; like remembering his favourite kuih or making his favourite drink even when he doesn't ask for it.

Being a wife means that sometimes you have to bite your tongue - in an argument, refrain from saying things that you may regret later, no matter how much satisfaction you think you might get from 'letting it all out' - you can never take it back, and the harm would have been done.

I wish I could say that 'happily ever after' starts now but you and I both know that the fairy tale concept doesn't exist in real life. But I've always believed that one needs a few glitches in their lives to truly appreciate all that is good in life. Have an awesome journey and make every moment count!

Love,
Akak

For just a moment....

I took the afternoon off work to run an errand in KB today. Had to look for a gift for our boss in conjunction with his new bundle of joy.

Initially I was just browsing around, hoping for something to catch my eye. You always want to give someone something that they would find useful, so I always end up buying something that I would buy for myself. Anyway, as I was looking at the tiny shoes and mittens and caps, I suddenly found myself welling up.

There is a pair of tiny mittens and a cap tucked away at the back of my closet. They have been there since about a year ago. Also hidden away is a pregnancy book and a book of names.

For just a moment I let myself cry silently for something that wasn't meant to be.

Bad taste in the mouth

I had a fantastic thought earlier today, surprisingly while scrubbing up for an operation, but NOT surprisingly, have totally forgotten about it now. Must seriously consider idea of hanging a notebook on my neck.

I was oncall last night. Not a drop of rain and in comes four motor vehicle accidents. One was totally unconscious, smelt of vomitus and had bits of kuey tiau, bean sprouts and cabbages hanging off his dark green sweater and it was the first time I saw my colleague sweat (WKY, it's because you are usually the epitome of coolness!).

But anyway, I am feeling bad right now.

It was 7pm and I was still in OT. Felt like I was a houseman all over again. Suddenly my mobile rang, and the OT phone rang. A staff nurse was asking me whether I wanted to do the discharge.

DISCHARGE? At 7 pm? Are you seriously serious or seriously out of your mind?

Firstly, I hate it when the staff take it for granted that I will answer all calls from the hospital, regardless of time and day. Last weekend, I was in IKEA and a staff nurse called to ask me about removing the stitches on the leg of a patient. Hello? Patient mati ke kalau tak buat STO tu??

I make it a habit not to accept phone calls from the hospital outside office hours unless when I am oncall, but it is still disturbing to know they called because, y'know, what if it was something urgent? Heck, that's what oncall people are for!

and the thing I am totally pissed off about is, that THEY actually make me feel bad about telling them off about calling me about minute matters like that.

Secondly, at about half two just now, as they were changing shifts and exchanging reports, I had called EVERY ward and went through all my patients and asked if there were things that needed to be done, i.e. xrays to see, discharges to do etc etc. So, tell me, if I shouldn't be mad if you call me at 7pm to ask me to do a discharge (which wasn't planned for that day anyway!). You had passed over at half two and you couldn't have called me over the next two hours to confirm if that patient was indeed for discharge.

Aargh! Seriously lah!

and don't even get me started on how gobsmacked I was the other day when a STAFF NURSE didn't know how to do chest compressions!

Nonsensical ramblings

I have this strange habit - well, I wouldn't call it a habit but more of an observation - of thinking that medical officers can tell what their calling in professional life is by looking at the type of cases that come when they are on call.

For instance, I noticed that when the senior Peads MO is oncall, somehow it is on that night that kids usually come to our casualty.

Last weekend I was on call and I noted that there were mainly surgical based cases that turned up that day as my partner is the current Surgical MO.

Now, what deduction should I make when I'm on call, and no cases turn up?


P/S: The above statement is by no means me "bercakap besar" - after all I still have one on call left this month.

Boo....

...for the blocking of blogs on the hospital internet.

I mean, at nights when you are on casualty call, and you are just sitting there waiting for the results to come back, at least that gives us something to do. Besides, I write best in the middle of the night when the patients are just thinning and sleep eludes me.

Anywho, last night's call was one of those weird ones. It was practically patient-less from about 5 to about half ten. Yes, it must be one of those blue moon nights. My partner, however, wasn't so lucky. She was riding on the ambulance escorting an ICB case and only came back at about ten, only to be woken up at about 2 to escort another case. But of course, TM being the place it is, patients started to come after midnight. For a three day fever, can you believe it? Have some mercy people?!

It is a shame when the public misuses the casualty department like this. They have learnt that staff at district hospitals will call you ASAP when you turn up after midnight as they want to settle all cases as quickly as possible. It doesn't help that TM has an abundance of a night life for all the nocturnals. Hmm.

Anyway, I was woken up at half twelve for a case of assault and an MVA where a boy cracked his forehead open. The skull was exposed and I swear I can feel a crack yet the CT scan came back normal i.e. no evidence of a skull fracture. Good news for the kid but kinda embrassing for me. However, my partner that night examined the wound and totally agreed with my assessment.

I will be oncall again tomorrow and hope I won't be as unlucky as my partner.

My parents must be pretty happy right now as all three grandkids are back. Apparently my niece has become a minah salleh (Hi Hannah!) and Ayes is still being Ayes. They are expecting their fourth grandkid any moment now. Seems like kids are popping everywhere. Sigh.

There are times during the year when work starts to bore me. Perhaps I am one of those people who get excited about something for a short while and then grow out of the phase. Kinda risky when it involves work what with an apartment in KL to pay for. Maybe what I need is to get out of Kelantan. There are times when I wonder how I ended up in a life that is so vastly different from what I am used to. I've been informed that my family members wonder about this on a regular basis.

I had a conversation with a colleague not long ago. Among others it centred on our lives and how not having kids affected it. I've long discovered that I no longer care if we have kids or not. I look at other people's offsprings and I am relieved that people won't be able to judge me based on how my kids look like and how they behave. We're already being judged on the job we hold, the car we drive and the number of jewellery we own - life doesn't need to be so complicated.

I also decided that I will make a lousy parent. I can't even get my cats to respond to their names. They all come running on "tsk tsk tsk" so I might as well have called them all "tsk tsk tsk"- hahaha. Jokes aside, should it is fated that we remain childless, I am content. I believe that my marriage is strong enough to withstand this and I consider myself lucky as not many married couples can say the same thing with the same amount of conviction as I have.

Fuming mad post...

I received news of this last night but was down with fever so only managed to write this down now. My youngest baby brother is doing his pre U course in UM. Yesterday, in one of his chemistry practical class, a friend accidentally knocked a test tube filled with undiluted chemical and it spattered on his back.

Do you know what the stupid teacher in the class did? He dabbed on it and said it would be ok. OK????? My brother now has a gaping hole in the skin of his back, what do you say to that? I thought the first things you learnt when you enter a lab is basic first aid? Whatever happened to letting the skin sit under running water you idiot?! and you don't even have the decency to send your student to the health centre. Idiot.

and at the Health Centre, another idiot nurse let my brother sit for an hour unattended without any further treatment while the chemical was practically burning a hole in his back!

However, kudos and thank you to this Burmese medical officer who saw the urgency of my brother's case and actually sent my brother to UMMC.

So much for being the top Uni in Malaysia. I suppose this is where we are when we only run like headless chickens to get everything in order only when the Accreditation Survey is going to be held.

I heart Singapore!

The number of hours my KBR-KUL flight was delayed - 5

The amount of time I said "I heart Singapore!" while I was there - many!

The number of steps we took travelling up and down escalators and buses and walking - gazillions.




The number of times we went to VivoCity but did not go to Sentosa but instead went to Candy Empire - 2

The number of times we saw a Mat Salleh and his SPG nearly getting into a physical fight with a scrawny chinese guy with very frightened girlfriend - 1

The number of keychains I bought at Bugis Street - 30

The number of fridge magnets I bought - 5

The number of wallets I had planned to buy - 1
The number of wallets I ended up buying - 0

The number of handbag I planned to buy - 0
The number of handbag I ended up buying - 1

The amount of bruised knee I got as a result of stumbling off the ramp in front of the Singapore Science Centre - 1



The number of people Abg said saw me fall - 0
The real number of people who saw me fall - probably EVERYONE there!



The whole Singaporean experience - priceless.

It's nice to be home......

...but Singapore was fantastic!

There were all these 'signs' that I kept coming across, as if telling me that I shouldn't be going on the trip, but I am glad I did.

There was the 5 hour plus delay on our flight back to Kuala Lumpur where we ended up arriving at Ma's house at nearly 2 am, but otherwise the rest of the trip was smooth sailing.

However, is it me, or is this guy wearing OT trousers?

Things to do when you are post call...

....is scrape half the length of your already battered Kenari against a moronic lorry whose driver couldn't be bothered to find a better space, hence blocking half the road.

A******.

.....and then go home irritated because of the above incident and snap at your other half.

Sigh.