but overcoming it doesn't mean the rest of the way will be easy.
Am I regretting not doing it earlier? I don't know. Don't believe in being regretful, to be honest. I think life is too short to dwell on things that could have or should have or all the probablies and maybes.
or maybe I am just making excuses.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Why is it....
....that one is always reluctant to get something using one's own money, yet have no problem when someone else buys it for you?
The thing is, one knows that one can afford it but never gets round to buying it because when push comes to shove, you think, no, this is too expensive - a family of four can survive for a whole month on this and you come up with all the possible excuses under the sun - BUT, doesn't even need to consider thinking twice about accepting said item as a gift.
Right?
So, as much as I am saying "No, you shouldn't have", I want you to know that I absolutely love it and for the rest of the week before even considering using it, will probably take it out of its bag when I know you're not looking just to gaze at it and inhale its sweet sweet smell.
The thing is, one knows that one can afford it but never gets round to buying it because when push comes to shove, you think, no, this is too expensive - a family of four can survive for a whole month on this and you come up with all the possible excuses under the sun - BUT, doesn't even need to consider thinking twice about accepting said item as a gift.
Right?
So, as much as I am saying "No, you shouldn't have", I want you to know that I absolutely love it and for the rest of the week before even considering using it, will probably take it out of its bag when I know you're not looking just to gaze at it and inhale its sweet sweet smell.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Salty booger or practical?
People have been asking me when I'll be replacing my car with a newer one.
I drive a nearly 7 year-old Kenari. I bought it right after I got married, with the purpose of driving myself to work after moving into Abg's house. It's never been in an accident - Al Hamdulillah - and recently I had it repainted, the multiple scratches and minor dents were becoming an eyesore. I full settled it about a year ago and it is completely mine.
It's engine may be loud when I drive more than 110km/h that I can't hear the radio. We can't drive it long distance unless we intended to spend the following day in bed due to back pain but it is a modest car and it serves its function: getting me to work and back so there isn't any good reason for me to replace it.
It's fantastic for going to the weekend market when there are limited parking space and the reclining back seat gives it more space in case I need to transport bulky stuff. In short, there is nothing that it can't give me, in terms of being a car.
For the others, well, that is where Abg's car comes in.
Similarly, I was changing in the OT when someone asked me, do you wear only 'bawal' headscarfs (referring to the older version of 'tudung's where you need to pin it under the chin and fold it at the temple to give it the streamlined look, as opposed to the automatic version where you just put it on)? Why won't you use the latest trend 'tudung's - it's faster to wear.
People asked me this before and I told her, as I told the other people who asked me before, 'Then what will I do with the whole bunch of 'tudung bawal's that I have?'. She said, just keep them and I thought to myself, for what exactly?
A headscarf is a headscarf, it's function is to complete the hijab - so if my old fashioned 'bawal' headscarfs still does that, then I think I will hold on to it a little while longer, thanks. No offense to those who do, but I just hate seeing things go to waste. I recently saw someone showing her Aryani headscarf collection - there is one (or maybe more) for each colour of the rainbow!
Now, should the next trend arrive - will one have to 'just keep' those too?
As it is, I'm only using 5-6 of my bawal headscarfs on a regular basis. The rest are just sitting in a suitcase, for all I know, being consumed by roaches and moths.
and it's not just about cars or headscarfs - it's furniture, curtains, mobile phones - it never ends. Recently I wanted to inquire about getting my sofa reupholstered. I bought the set about 5 years ago and despite being scratched to death by my furkids and having it's foam bursting all over the place, the structure is still very strong and it is very comfy. Having it reupholstered will cost me nearly the price I bought it in the first place so someone asked my why don't you just get a new one? The thing is, I can't bear throwing it away, because I know, with a little facelift, it can still serve its purpose and getting rid of it will only mean that it will get burned or take space at the rubbish dump.
Does it sound silly? I just can't stand knowing that the good part will be thrown away with the broken part that I will spend money to fix the broken part. Like, for another instance, the office chair that broke one of its five legs on wheels. Since the cushion is still intact and clean and definitely had more life in it still, I'm planning to find a second hand office chair just so I could replace the legs rather than buy a new one.
Some people may call it being thrifty I guess but hey, whatever makes one happy, right?
I drive a nearly 7 year-old Kenari. I bought it right after I got married, with the purpose of driving myself to work after moving into Abg's house. It's never been in an accident - Al Hamdulillah - and recently I had it repainted, the multiple scratches and minor dents were becoming an eyesore. I full settled it about a year ago and it is completely mine.
It's engine may be loud when I drive more than 110km/h that I can't hear the radio. We can't drive it long distance unless we intended to spend the following day in bed due to back pain but it is a modest car and it serves its function: getting me to work and back so there isn't any good reason for me to replace it.
It's fantastic for going to the weekend market when there are limited parking space and the reclining back seat gives it more space in case I need to transport bulky stuff. In short, there is nothing that it can't give me, in terms of being a car.
For the others, well, that is where Abg's car comes in.
Similarly, I was changing in the OT when someone asked me, do you wear only 'bawal' headscarfs (referring to the older version of 'tudung's where you need to pin it under the chin and fold it at the temple to give it the streamlined look, as opposed to the automatic version where you just put it on)? Why won't you use the latest trend 'tudung's - it's faster to wear.
People asked me this before and I told her, as I told the other people who asked me before, 'Then what will I do with the whole bunch of 'tudung bawal's that I have?'. She said, just keep them and I thought to myself, for what exactly?
A headscarf is a headscarf, it's function is to complete the hijab - so if my old fashioned 'bawal' headscarfs still does that, then I think I will hold on to it a little while longer, thanks. No offense to those who do, but I just hate seeing things go to waste. I recently saw someone showing her Aryani headscarf collection - there is one (or maybe more) for each colour of the rainbow!
Now, should the next trend arrive - will one have to 'just keep' those too?
As it is, I'm only using 5-6 of my bawal headscarfs on a regular basis. The rest are just sitting in a suitcase, for all I know, being consumed by roaches and moths.
and it's not just about cars or headscarfs - it's furniture, curtains, mobile phones - it never ends. Recently I wanted to inquire about getting my sofa reupholstered. I bought the set about 5 years ago and despite being scratched to death by my furkids and having it's foam bursting all over the place, the structure is still very strong and it is very comfy. Having it reupholstered will cost me nearly the price I bought it in the first place so someone asked my why don't you just get a new one? The thing is, I can't bear throwing it away, because I know, with a little facelift, it can still serve its purpose and getting rid of it will only mean that it will get burned or take space at the rubbish dump.
Does it sound silly? I just can't stand knowing that the good part will be thrown away with the broken part that I will spend money to fix the broken part. Like, for another instance, the office chair that broke one of its five legs on wheels. Since the cushion is still intact and clean and definitely had more life in it still, I'm planning to find a second hand office chair just so I could replace the legs rather than buy a new one.
Some people may call it being thrifty I guess but hey, whatever makes one happy, right?
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
I wonder...
..how depressed one has to be before contemplating taking one's life?
or how depressed one can be before accepting that ending one's life is a better option than going through it?
or how depressed one can be before accepting that ending one's life is a better option than going through it?
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Sometimes....
...people amaze me.
How can one make certain assumptions, based on just scanty information here and there, you think you already know the whole story and on top of that, dare to pass judgement?
FYI, I've ceased to acknowledge your existence. I don't talk about you. I don't inquire about your wellbeing. I DON'T CARE.
Waah, sedap pulak kau ckp aku macam-macam. Kenapa aku tak buat macam nie, kenapa aku tak buat macam tu. Ye lah, kau saja la yang perfect kan. Pathetic.
I didn't want to say anything despite all those things you said about me. In fact I was contemplating doing something nice to you - I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, I wanted to give you a break but noooooo, for some strange reason you think you had the right to pass judgement about me! Hah!
Cuba baiki diri and hidup sendiri dulu boleh tak?
How can one make certain assumptions, based on just scanty information here and there, you think you already know the whole story and on top of that, dare to pass judgement?
FYI, I've ceased to acknowledge your existence. I don't talk about you. I don't inquire about your wellbeing. I DON'T CARE.
Waah, sedap pulak kau ckp aku macam-macam. Kenapa aku tak buat macam nie, kenapa aku tak buat macam tu. Ye lah, kau saja la yang perfect kan. Pathetic.
I didn't want to say anything despite all those things you said about me. In fact I was contemplating doing something nice to you - I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, I wanted to give you a break but noooooo, for some strange reason you think you had the right to pass judgement about me! Hah!
Cuba baiki diri and hidup sendiri dulu boleh tak?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sometimes...
I have always noted how similar yet how different Abg and I are - and I sometimes note that the similarities that we have can be an annoyance. Imagine trying to handle another ME - I don't think that can be pleasant!
Sometimes I am amazed that we have lasted this long. My Ma never fails to point out to me that any other person would have left me a long time ago! Haha. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ma.
Seriously though - when I look at us, I will be the first to admit that love (or rather Allah's choice of my jodoh) works in the strangest manner.
Occasionally, when the differences are the most obvious, I would tease him and say "This is what you get for not marrying a nice kampung girl!". I don't know whether he realises it or not but at times I really do think that is what he should have done.
I am not the most easily adaptable person on earth - I am happiest curled up in bed with a good book. When there is waiting involved, you would see my nose stuck in between pages of a book rather than staring into nothingness. I don't do small talk because I think people don't really want to know the answer, they just want to fill the awkward silence. I enjoy the company of a small dinner rather than a full blown party; maybe that's just the control freak in me.
Abg hasn't been to his company's Family Day for the past few years. He says it is because he doesn't like to go - but I secretly think it's because I don't want to. In the first year it's alright because everyone knows you've just recently married - but after a few years I am finding myself in an awkward place; he has his friends but I don't really mesh with the other wives because they will talk about the best brand of diapers or milk formula and how their kids are doing at school and what post school activities are best etc etc. Now he doesn't even ask if I want to go.
When there is a family event on his side, I feel awkward because I feel like an outsider in a sea of Kelantanese speaking females. I am tired of smiling when they exclaim in amusement that I don't eat or haven't tried a certain food.
Which is weird because people who know me will say that I can be pretty friendly. At times I can strike a conversation with a complete stranger, so I am not shy.
In the beginning I kept to myself because I was worried about the first impression that I may make. I felt that people expected Abg to marry a local girl and because I was not, I was determined to show that I am the best person for him so I acted like how I expect people expect me to act. After a while, people perceived my quietness as a reluctance to blend in and left me alone.
Abg tries to reassure me but I can see that this is holding him back.
Nowadays my life seems pretty monotonous. Even significant things that happen in my life, I perceive as being insignificant. Sometimes I think I go through my day to day activities like how a robot does.
Is this a rut that every one goes through once in a while in their lives? Should I be doing something or just let this phase pass by?
Sometimes I wish I don't have to even care.
Sometimes I am amazed that we have lasted this long. My Ma never fails to point out to me that any other person would have left me a long time ago! Haha. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ma.
Seriously though - when I look at us, I will be the first to admit that love (or rather Allah's choice of my jodoh) works in the strangest manner.
Occasionally, when the differences are the most obvious, I would tease him and say "This is what you get for not marrying a nice kampung girl!". I don't know whether he realises it or not but at times I really do think that is what he should have done.
I am not the most easily adaptable person on earth - I am happiest curled up in bed with a good book. When there is waiting involved, you would see my nose stuck in between pages of a book rather than staring into nothingness. I don't do small talk because I think people don't really want to know the answer, they just want to fill the awkward silence. I enjoy the company of a small dinner rather than a full blown party; maybe that's just the control freak in me.
Abg hasn't been to his company's Family Day for the past few years. He says it is because he doesn't like to go - but I secretly think it's because I don't want to. In the first year it's alright because everyone knows you've just recently married - but after a few years I am finding myself in an awkward place; he has his friends but I don't really mesh with the other wives because they will talk about the best brand of diapers or milk formula and how their kids are doing at school and what post school activities are best etc etc. Now he doesn't even ask if I want to go.
When there is a family event on his side, I feel awkward because I feel like an outsider in a sea of Kelantanese speaking females. I am tired of smiling when they exclaim in amusement that I don't eat or haven't tried a certain food.
Which is weird because people who know me will say that I can be pretty friendly. At times I can strike a conversation with a complete stranger, so I am not shy.
In the beginning I kept to myself because I was worried about the first impression that I may make. I felt that people expected Abg to marry a local girl and because I was not, I was determined to show that I am the best person for him so I acted like how I expect people expect me to act. After a while, people perceived my quietness as a reluctance to blend in and left me alone.
Abg tries to reassure me but I can see that this is holding him back.
Nowadays my life seems pretty monotonous. Even significant things that happen in my life, I perceive as being insignificant. Sometimes I think I go through my day to day activities like how a robot does.
Is this a rut that every one goes through once in a while in their lives? Should I be doing something or just let this phase pass by?
Sometimes I wish I don't have to even care.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Sometimes...
..when one has been cooped up in the room for so long that one believes there is no life better than what one has, a breath of fresh air is all it takes for one to yearn of a different life.
Deep huh?
Well, maybe not so deep. I'm just happy that I'm postcall and it is the weekend tomorrow. The house is slowly resembling a chicken coop and with the wet weather, sometimes even smelling like one.
They say a goldfish has a memory span of only three seconds (turns out this is a myth afterall) - sometimes I wish I had a short memory span. It will make my job extremely difficult though. Perhaps I could apply it to only certain patients and in certain cases only?
It is the most difficult thing to NOT immediately label a patient when you hear IVDU, or crime suspect. How does one ascertain that the altered conscious level is due to a head injury rather than just simply being intoxicated? Sometimes the proof is there right in front of you but bias can be a cruel haze.
The phonecall came this morning while I was seeing cases at the clinic. So I guess here goes nothing. I am not harbouring much hope but it sure will be good if I can.
Deep huh?
Well, maybe not so deep. I'm just happy that I'm postcall and it is the weekend tomorrow. The house is slowly resembling a chicken coop and with the wet weather, sometimes even smelling like one.
They say a goldfish has a memory span of only three seconds (turns out this is a myth afterall) - sometimes I wish I had a short memory span. It will make my job extremely difficult though. Perhaps I could apply it to only certain patients and in certain cases only?
It is the most difficult thing to NOT immediately label a patient when you hear IVDU, or crime suspect. How does one ascertain that the altered conscious level is due to a head injury rather than just simply being intoxicated? Sometimes the proof is there right in front of you but bias can be a cruel haze.
The phonecall came this morning while I was seeing cases at the clinic. So I guess here goes nothing. I am not harbouring much hope but it sure will be good if I can.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Retail therapy melancholia
I have been feeling melancholic.
Maybe it is the new year, maybe it is the increasing age or maybe it's because of the new house, I don't know but life is starting to feel kinda empty.
Suddenly I am feeling that nothing should be a priority but this - that I should make this my number one mission for 2011 and apart from this, everything else is nothing.
or maybe it's just my PMS.
I have been on a shopping spree but am not feeling happy! Maybe retail therapy only works when one is buying frivilous stuff that you don't actually need. Haha.
Downlights, pendant lights, shower heads, shower hoses, two way taps, valves, kitchen sinks, wash basins, granite countertops, melamine cabinets, 3G, wallpapers, plaster ceilings, cornices, paint - bleurgh. If only I had the financial freedom to get someone else to do it for me.
Maybe it is the new year, maybe it is the increasing age or maybe it's because of the new house, I don't know but life is starting to feel kinda empty.
Suddenly I am feeling that nothing should be a priority but this - that I should make this my number one mission for 2011 and apart from this, everything else is nothing.
or maybe it's just my PMS.
I have been on a shopping spree but am not feeling happy! Maybe retail therapy only works when one is buying frivilous stuff that you don't actually need. Haha.
Downlights, pendant lights, shower heads, shower hoses, two way taps, valves, kitchen sinks, wash basins, granite countertops, melamine cabinets, 3G, wallpapers, plaster ceilings, cornices, paint - bleurgh. If only I had the financial freedom to get someone else to do it for me.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Get me a cup of empathy please
Sometimes I wish I had more empathy for some of my patients. But I guess in saying that, I am wishing to be less of a human because by having all these different feelings and emotions is what makes us human in the first place.
On the other hand, it is amazing how one person is able to tolerate pain compared to the next person. How is it that this female patient can endure the discomfort of childbirth and yet be near to tears when told that the K-wires and external fixator has to come out.
Being told that kids as young as 12 didn't bat an eyelid when they had their K-wires out didn't help either, I guess - as the gaze she placed on me could have easily killed - and believe me that I regretted it the moment the last word fell off my mouth. However sissy or childlike she may be, there is no reason for me to be so harsh.
On the other hand, it is amazing how one person is able to tolerate pain compared to the next person. How is it that this female patient can endure the discomfort of childbirth and yet be near to tears when told that the K-wires and external fixator has to come out.
Being told that kids as young as 12 didn't bat an eyelid when they had their K-wires out didn't help either, I guess - as the gaze she placed on me could have easily killed - and believe me that I regretted it the moment the last word fell off my mouth. However sissy or childlike she may be, there is no reason for me to be so harsh.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Me mad
Someone I know recently went to seek advice from an 'ustaz' - and I am putting inverted commas here because after hearing about what happened, I am seriously doubting his capabilities and whether he really deserves that title.
I think when one is faced by someone in problem, the job of a good listener is to never take sides. Or if you HAVE to, then take the side of the person in front of you. But only if you really have to - otherwise, just be neutral.
Now, I admit that I do not know the whole story but come on la ustaz - please do not be so old fashioned and blame the decay of a marriage solely on the wife. I felt so enraged by what this so called ustaz had said, I felt like flying back to KL and confronting this idiot.
So a wife has to accept everything the husband presents to her with a smile -tell that to a wife who had been presented with a kick to the groin and been slapped till she is deaf in one ear - in fact, I will even get her to say 'Bagi la lagi' [More please] just for good measure.
Everything that a husband does is good - tell that to my staff nurse who went to get her salary and found her account nearly empty, courtesy of her husband.
A husband can never do wrong - tell that to the many wives who are lied to every single day and have no shame in living off his wife's earnings.
Seriously lah!
It is this old fashioned mentality that is giving the Muslims a bad reputation and YOU, an ustaz of all people!
You keep saying 'zaman Nabi' and how wives should emulate the Prophet's wives - but you forget (or simply too self engrossed in your own delusions) that our men nowadays are no where near as great as the Prophet (p.b.u.h).
Perempuan tak pandai masak kena kutuk - Lelaki tak pandai imamkan solat jemaah takde sape ckp apa-apa.
Kalau lelaki tolong jemur kain kena cop Queen Control.
Rumah kotor, kata bini tak buat kerja - Lelaki duduk saja kat rumah sebab malas nak kerja, takde sape komen.
Life is unfair - I can accept that but having people like this be leaders surely doesn't help.
Abg - I love you very much and you are the best.
I think when one is faced by someone in problem, the job of a good listener is to never take sides. Or if you HAVE to, then take the side of the person in front of you. But only if you really have to - otherwise, just be neutral.
Now, I admit that I do not know the whole story but come on la ustaz - please do not be so old fashioned and blame the decay of a marriage solely on the wife. I felt so enraged by what this so called ustaz had said, I felt like flying back to KL and confronting this idiot.
So a wife has to accept everything the husband presents to her with a smile -tell that to a wife who had been presented with a kick to the groin and been slapped till she is deaf in one ear - in fact, I will even get her to say 'Bagi la lagi' [More please] just for good measure.
Everything that a husband does is good - tell that to my staff nurse who went to get her salary and found her account nearly empty, courtesy of her husband.
A husband can never do wrong - tell that to the many wives who are lied to every single day and have no shame in living off his wife's earnings.
Seriously lah!
It is this old fashioned mentality that is giving the Muslims a bad reputation and YOU, an ustaz of all people!
You keep saying 'zaman Nabi' and how wives should emulate the Prophet's wives - but you forget (or simply too self engrossed in your own delusions) that our men nowadays are no where near as great as the Prophet (p.b.u.h).
Perempuan tak pandai masak kena kutuk - Lelaki tak pandai imamkan solat jemaah takde sape ckp apa-apa.
Kalau lelaki tolong jemur kain kena cop Queen Control.
Rumah kotor, kata bini tak buat kerja - Lelaki duduk saja kat rumah sebab malas nak kerja, takde sape komen.
Life is unfair - I can accept that but having people like this be leaders surely doesn't help.
Abg - I love you very much and you are the best.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Our Penang highlight - or NOT
I think at times I can be quite easy to please. Yes some of my friends will laugh and say that those times are rare but sometimes the simplest of things can make me happy.
Seriously.
But when I am not, rest assured I can be very vocal about letting people know my displeasure. My staff nurses can vouch for that, I think.
Anywho, last month I brought my 3 nieces and nephew to Penang. Their parents are away for the pilgrimage and we had a long weekend. Having kids with you requires a lot of planning to make sure they are entertained so I thought I'd bring them to the Toy Museum.
We were in and out by 10 minutes and I didn't know whether I should be angry and demand my money back or laugh at the sheer ridiculousity of it.
So, I decided to write a review on Trip Advisor, a travellers' website. I was frank and voiced out some of my concerns like the obviously uneven floors, some had holes covered with carpets which tripped the kids on a few occasions. There was only one small entrance (which doubles as the exit) - can't imagine trying to escape in case of a fire. Remember, you are thinking of families with small kids coming to a place like this.
Yes, I might have been swayed by the fact that I may be slightly old fashioned that I don't regard stiff figurines to be toys - but hey, a review is a review. It is MY personal opinion based on how I felt after going through an experience. As I pointed out to the owner, (who emailed me in a huff and called me biased) - even James Cameron the great director will NEVER make a film that will please EVERYONE.
I felt I needed people to know the other side of it - I thought the owner should improve the way the so called toys are displayed (a lot of things were placed on the bottom-most rack where basically no one could see them), fix the uneven floors and ensure enough clearing space for strollers/prams and certainly do something about the inappropriate decor.
Whenever the Toy Museum is mentioned, we'd just crack up and laugh. For RM52 (which was what we paid for 4 adults and 2 kids) - we could have had a jolly good meal of pasembur and cendol.
Ah well.
Seriously.
But when I am not, rest assured I can be very vocal about letting people know my displeasure. My staff nurses can vouch for that, I think.
Anywho, last month I brought my 3 nieces and nephew to Penang. Their parents are away for the pilgrimage and we had a long weekend. Having kids with you requires a lot of planning to make sure they are entertained so I thought I'd bring them to the Toy Museum.
We were in and out by 10 minutes and I didn't know whether I should be angry and demand my money back or laugh at the sheer ridiculousity of it.
So, I decided to write a review on Trip Advisor, a travellers' website. I was frank and voiced out some of my concerns like the obviously uneven floors, some had holes covered with carpets which tripped the kids on a few occasions. There was only one small entrance (which doubles as the exit) - can't imagine trying to escape in case of a fire. Remember, you are thinking of families with small kids coming to a place like this.
Yes, I might have been swayed by the fact that I may be slightly old fashioned that I don't regard stiff figurines to be toys - but hey, a review is a review. It is MY personal opinion based on how I felt after going through an experience. As I pointed out to the owner, (who emailed me in a huff and called me biased) - even James Cameron the great director will NEVER make a film that will please EVERYONE.
I felt I needed people to know the other side of it - I thought the owner should improve the way the so called toys are displayed (a lot of things were placed on the bottom-most rack where basically no one could see them), fix the uneven floors and ensure enough clearing space for strollers/prams and certainly do something about the inappropriate decor.
Whenever the Toy Museum is mentioned, we'd just crack up and laugh. For RM52 (which was what we paid for 4 adults and 2 kids) - we could have had a jolly good meal of pasembur and cendol.
Ah well.
My pet peeve
I have a confession to make.
Ignorant spelling mistake and lazy fact-checking in printed publications irritate the hell out of me.
How can one misspell Harry POTTER? The boy who lived!
Time and time again I see people - educated people - refer to the movie or book as Harry PoRter and don't tell me it is a typo because how can you get the other 'T' right and not the first one? The book only sold gazillions of copies worldwide and the movie has generated millions!
**** I stand corrected - a reader has pointed out a fact in this article which I am now retracting - the irony of it, talking about lazy-fact checking and here I am doing the same! Thank you, whoever you are****
Last year, the same newspaper ran an article on fashion and the writer who thought it would be chic to spatter her page with English words, wrote about fashion CHEEK. Berguling aku.
People! For once use your smartphones to be smart lah and not just for showing off. In these times and age, it takes just a millisecond to check your facts or confirm the correct spelling of words.
Just last night I read about someone who had a FRANCE kiss.
Arrrgggh!!! *pulling hair out*
Ignorant spelling mistake and lazy fact-checking in printed publications irritate the hell out of me.
How can one misspell Harry POTTER? The boy who lived!
Time and time again I see people - educated people - refer to the movie or book as Harry PoRter and don't tell me it is a typo because how can you get the other 'T' right and not the first one? The book only sold gazillions of copies worldwide and the movie has generated millions!
**** I stand corrected - a reader has pointed out a fact in this article which I am now retracting - the irony of it, talking about lazy-fact checking and here I am doing the same! Thank you, whoever you are****
Last year, the same newspaper ran an article on fashion and the writer who thought it would be chic to spatter her page with English words, wrote about fashion CHEEK. Berguling aku.
People! For once use your smartphones to be smart lah and not just for showing off. In these times and age, it takes just a millisecond to check your facts or confirm the correct spelling of words.
Just last night I read about someone who had a FRANCE kiss.
Arrrgggh!!! *pulling hair out*
Friday, December 03, 2010
Good or bad?
Last night I was in OT around midnight debriding a wound on a patient's ankle. He was using one of those portable grasscutter and the metal blade broke off and hit his leg.
He sustained an open fracture and some muscle cut.
Now, I love being in the OT. Even at 12 midnight - but it is something else when my nurse keeps going somewhere else in her mind (Eh, I have been working for the past 16 hours, you just got in three hours ago, ok) and the drill bit was so dull it took me one minute to drill a hole in the bone - urgh. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong - and to top it all off, a HUGE fly decided he would come a visiting and landed on my operating site!
Seriously lah!
My hospital started to have houseperson (trying to be PC here) about a year ago - and some are good and vice versa and I was remarking to my colleague that after about 20 or so of them, how one barely remembers some of them.
and of course, there are the memorable ones and funny ones and really knowledgeable ones that they sometimes put us MOs to shame.
I am not really sure how I should be with my housemen - I've worked in the district for so long without having them that I have gotten used to doing things myself. I am, though, extremely happy with having them around when a two-week abscess or one-month, foul smelling foot comes in at ridiculous hours (and by that I mean, 12 midnight on a weekend).
Sometimes I am torn between letting them close up an incision because that is the part I love best about operating - seeing the two edges of skin come together, signifying, (I hope) a job well done - but I realise that if I don't let them do it, then how are they to learn?
I would get so exasperated when I tell them, these are the things that the specialist loves to ask and explain to them how to tell when the closed manipulative reduction is acceptable and yet, get a blank look when the same question comes up the next day.
but then, I tell myself that I was worse when I was in their shoes. I hated going to the clinic and hate having to change quickly into OT scrubs when my tummy is growling for food and I hated Grand Ward Rounds that I wanted to take an EL each week - so I think about that and I cut them some slack.
I envy the fact that their housemanship has become easier due to the fact that there are so many of them (I used to be in charge of a ward with just one or two other housemen - and now, about 4 or 5 of them share a CUBICLE!) yet I tend to worry because they end up being so underexposed. A big part of being a good doctor is experience: you can't really counsel a patient properly if you haven't gone through and seen what a procedure entails. What you see in a book is never the same with what you see in life. We used to do everything and saw everything and I was talking to a houseman who has never seen an operation to excise a ganglion, despite being in the 6th posting and have been in Ortho for the past 2-3 months!
I worry sometimes, you know. and I think a lot of people should be too.
He sustained an open fracture and some muscle cut.
Now, I love being in the OT. Even at 12 midnight - but it is something else when my nurse keeps going somewhere else in her mind (Eh, I have been working for the past 16 hours, you just got in three hours ago, ok) and the drill bit was so dull it took me one minute to drill a hole in the bone - urgh. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong - and to top it all off, a HUGE fly decided he would come a visiting and landed on my operating site!
Seriously lah!
My hospital started to have houseperson (trying to be PC here) about a year ago - and some are good and vice versa and I was remarking to my colleague that after about 20 or so of them, how one barely remembers some of them.
and of course, there are the memorable ones and funny ones and really knowledgeable ones that they sometimes put us MOs to shame.
I am not really sure how I should be with my housemen - I've worked in the district for so long without having them that I have gotten used to doing things myself. I am, though, extremely happy with having them around when a two-week abscess or one-month, foul smelling foot comes in at ridiculous hours (and by that I mean, 12 midnight on a weekend).
Sometimes I am torn between letting them close up an incision because that is the part I love best about operating - seeing the two edges of skin come together, signifying, (I hope) a job well done - but I realise that if I don't let them do it, then how are they to learn?
I would get so exasperated when I tell them, these are the things that the specialist loves to ask and explain to them how to tell when the closed manipulative reduction is acceptable and yet, get a blank look when the same question comes up the next day.
but then, I tell myself that I was worse when I was in their shoes. I hated going to the clinic and hate having to change quickly into OT scrubs when my tummy is growling for food and I hated Grand Ward Rounds that I wanted to take an EL each week - so I think about that and I cut them some slack.
I envy the fact that their housemanship has become easier due to the fact that there are so many of them (I used to be in charge of a ward with just one or two other housemen - and now, about 4 or 5 of them share a CUBICLE!) yet I tend to worry because they end up being so underexposed. A big part of being a good doctor is experience: you can't really counsel a patient properly if you haven't gone through and seen what a procedure entails. What you see in a book is never the same with what you see in life. We used to do everything and saw everything and I was talking to a houseman who has never seen an operation to excise a ganglion, despite being in the 6th posting and have been in Ortho for the past 2-3 months!
I worry sometimes, you know. and I think a lot of people should be too.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Multitasking with LIFE
It is hard having a blog that is read by people you know. Once in a while I would like to really let go and just rant, but there are feelings to be careful of. One thinks that one is being frank but despite rating honesty so highly on the moral pedestal, I observe that people don't appreciate it when it is thrown in one's face.
But anyway, it is raining here. It has been rather sunny the past couple of days but today, the heavens opened. I don't like rainy seasons - the house smells musty and my cats tend to die in rapid succession one after the other. My cat cages are looking rather empty after losing 6 kittens to viral infections.
The house is in a mess. We had returned after about 6 days away - Abg had gone for a course and I took a few days break just in time to pick Ma up at the airport. She had gone Down Under to visit a sister of mine.
I've been rearranging, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping and wiping and throwing junk away but it hasn't looked any better. I keep making plans in my head as I review my cases at the clinic or while making ward rounds or cutting out slough on a diabetic ulcer : must throw away this and must iron this basket of clothes and must mop this part of the house - and I do try to keep to my plan but then I see another portion of the house which needs tending to and the list just grows.
and I find that when I focus on one part of my life - I tend to neglect another part - and believe me, it is not intentional. I have all the good intentions to keep up with my parents and grandparents and other extended family AND at the same time try to read up on work stuff AND find out the best places to get bathroom accessories and looking at colour palettes for the house AND find time to get my cats vaccinated but sometimes it is just overwhelming!
and this with NO KIDS!
Is life this hard? - or am I just a really bad time manager?
But anyway, it is raining here. It has been rather sunny the past couple of days but today, the heavens opened. I don't like rainy seasons - the house smells musty and my cats tend to die in rapid succession one after the other. My cat cages are looking rather empty after losing 6 kittens to viral infections.
The house is in a mess. We had returned after about 6 days away - Abg had gone for a course and I took a few days break just in time to pick Ma up at the airport. She had gone Down Under to visit a sister of mine.
I've been rearranging, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping and wiping and throwing junk away but it hasn't looked any better. I keep making plans in my head as I review my cases at the clinic or while making ward rounds or cutting out slough on a diabetic ulcer : must throw away this and must iron this basket of clothes and must mop this part of the house - and I do try to keep to my plan but then I see another portion of the house which needs tending to and the list just grows.
and I find that when I focus on one part of my life - I tend to neglect another part - and believe me, it is not intentional. I have all the good intentions to keep up with my parents and grandparents and other extended family AND at the same time try to read up on work stuff AND find out the best places to get bathroom accessories and looking at colour palettes for the house AND find time to get my cats vaccinated but sometimes it is just overwhelming!
and this with NO KIDS!
Is life this hard? - or am I just a really bad time manager?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Goodbye Pinky Nose
So, after three days of fighting for her life, little pinky nose has succumbed to her internal injuries. I knew the condition is bad, yet I still had a sliver of hope as I called up the vet.
Little kid which I picked up from the covered way near the OT is also not doing well. He has always had an infected callousity on the dorsum of his paw due to him dragging it, which looked healing but two days ago started to look lethargic. Maybe he contracted a viral infection and was just too undernourished to fight the infection.
My heart is as grey as the clouds in KB today....
Little kid which I picked up from the covered way near the OT is also not doing well. He has always had an infected callousity on the dorsum of his paw due to him dragging it, which looked healing but two days ago started to look lethargic. Maybe he contracted a viral infection and was just too undernourished to fight the infection.
My heart is as grey as the clouds in KB today....
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Get well soon Pinky Nose.
She has the pinkest nose I have ever seen on a kitten. Her colouring was the usual - black with spots of black/grey - and she used to be so small that I doubted that she would survive, but she did and she runs like the wind especially when chasing bits of feather or a dried leaf.
Abg was on his way to his biweekly badminton outing when he strode in and said, "I think little pinky nose has been in an accident'.
True enough, little pinky nose was lying on the cage floor, growling when I picked her up, her left hindleg lay limp. I knew instantly how ill she is because pinky nose is no longer pink. She was breathing heavily and she looked at me with her round eyes as I started to cry.
I put her in a carrier and wrapped cloth around her to keep her warm and woke up a few times throughout the night to check on her. Fearing she would go into shock, I forced her to drink water.
The next day, all my earlier plans abandoned, our first priority was to see Dr Palani at Jalan Dusun Muda.
He confirmed that pinky nose has a broken femur, and she now has a distended bladder. I hope pinky nose hasn't got a fractured pelvis as well because that would be bad.
I've left pinky nose at the vet - hoping for the best. I immediately know a trip to Cheras is now inevitable.
Abg was on his way to his biweekly badminton outing when he strode in and said, "I think little pinky nose has been in an accident'.
True enough, little pinky nose was lying on the cage floor, growling when I picked her up, her left hindleg lay limp. I knew instantly how ill she is because pinky nose is no longer pink. She was breathing heavily and she looked at me with her round eyes as I started to cry.
I put her in a carrier and wrapped cloth around her to keep her warm and woke up a few times throughout the night to check on her. Fearing she would go into shock, I forced her to drink water.
The next day, all my earlier plans abandoned, our first priority was to see Dr Palani at Jalan Dusun Muda.
He confirmed that pinky nose has a broken femur, and she now has a distended bladder. I hope pinky nose hasn't got a fractured pelvis as well because that would be bad.
I've left pinky nose at the vet - hoping for the best. I immediately know a trip to Cheras is now inevitable.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Some parents are morons
A few weekends ago, I was attending a course in Kuantan. After the course finished, we had the evening to ourselves before returning to Kelantan the next day and we decided to watch a movie.
Having heard good reviews about The Other Guys, we decided we could do with some laughs and bought tickets. This movie was rated PG13 - i.e. suitable for kids aged 13 but with parental guidance (I think).
About half an hour into the show, a toddler in the back rows started whining. Slowly at first but persistantly louder and climaxed with a top of the voice wail about 20 mins later. I was getting agitated, sitting about 8 rows in front of the silly parents - I wonder what the patrons sitting right in front of them were thinking?
A few minutes later, said toddler and a fellow kid was running up and down the aisle laughing and giggling, and proceeded to do so till the end of the show. At one time, they even went into the row in front of the one I was sitting at and approached the elderly couple who was sitting there.
Okay, call me uptight for being childless - but seriously??
Does having kids make you a moron? (and when I say YOU, I meant the parent who brought the said kids in this post, kang ada yang terasa lagi pulak)
I for one, did not pay to have the side attraction of hearing kids running up and down while I watch Mark Wahlberg being hit on the face with a wooden gun.
Come on! You may want to watch Rain decapitate fellow ninjas but does that make it right for a 5 year old?
I've seen parents bring in 6 month old babies into the cinema - wah, your kids got tympanic membranes made of steel meh?
Seriously lah....!
Having heard good reviews about The Other Guys, we decided we could do with some laughs and bought tickets. This movie was rated PG13 - i.e. suitable for kids aged 13 but with parental guidance (I think).
About half an hour into the show, a toddler in the back rows started whining. Slowly at first but persistantly louder and climaxed with a top of the voice wail about 20 mins later. I was getting agitated, sitting about 8 rows in front of the silly parents - I wonder what the patrons sitting right in front of them were thinking?
A few minutes later, said toddler and a fellow kid was running up and down the aisle laughing and giggling, and proceeded to do so till the end of the show. At one time, they even went into the row in front of the one I was sitting at and approached the elderly couple who was sitting there.
Okay, call me uptight for being childless - but seriously??
Does having kids make you a moron? (and when I say YOU, I meant the parent who brought the said kids in this post, kang ada yang terasa lagi pulak)
I for one, did not pay to have the side attraction of hearing kids running up and down while I watch Mark Wahlberg being hit on the face with a wooden gun.
Come on! You may want to watch Rain decapitate fellow ninjas but does that make it right for a 5 year old?
I've seen parents bring in 6 month old babies into the cinema - wah, your kids got tympanic membranes made of steel meh?
Seriously lah....!
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Why oh why...
....do people LIKE their own status update? If you don't like it, you wouldn't put it up, would you?
...can't people get off their big arses and throw rubbish into the bin which is only a few steps away? It infuriates me when ppl leave boxed drinks, rice wrappers, melted ice in plastic bags and what nots at the most prominent places! How ppl have absolutely no conscience at unwrapping sweets and just letting it fall to the ground when the bin is right in front of them! Or throw things out their car windows! Stoooopiddd!!
...is it that the worst diabetic feet always turn up in septicaemic shock?
...that I always find it hard to wake up for work yet can be up wide eyed at half five in the morning during the weekends?
...am I ranting on a postcall day?
...can't people get off their big arses and throw rubbish into the bin which is only a few steps away? It infuriates me when ppl leave boxed drinks, rice wrappers, melted ice in plastic bags and what nots at the most prominent places! How ppl have absolutely no conscience at unwrapping sweets and just letting it fall to the ground when the bin is right in front of them! Or throw things out their car windows! Stoooopiddd!!
...is it that the worst diabetic feet always turn up in septicaemic shock?
...that I always find it hard to wake up for work yet can be up wide eyed at half five in the morning during the weekends?
...am I ranting on a postcall day?
Saturday, October 23, 2010
This is it...
They have been copied, certified and signed. References have been sought and all it needs is to be posted to the correct addresses.
I am still having second thoughts - mainly because I have become so comfortable here. Didn't I say I have been too content? This contentment is leaving me in a rut; a comfy rut, I must say but a rut nevertheless.
I am cutting it thin a bit - the dateline is three days away so I am not taking any chances and will be couriering them away first thing on Sunday.
Do I want to do this? I think I do. It has been a while since I challenged myself in a big way. I know I can - and I know I am better than some other candidates out there. If nothing else, I hope my maturity and experience will be counted. Well, it definitely won't be for my good looks or killer body, hahaha.
So, with my fingers and toes crossed, here goes nothing.
I am still having second thoughts - mainly because I have become so comfortable here. Didn't I say I have been too content? This contentment is leaving me in a rut; a comfy rut, I must say but a rut nevertheless.
I am cutting it thin a bit - the dateline is three days away so I am not taking any chances and will be couriering them away first thing on Sunday.
Do I want to do this? I think I do. It has been a while since I challenged myself in a big way. I know I can - and I know I am better than some other candidates out there. If nothing else, I hope my maturity and experience will be counted. Well, it definitely won't be for my good looks or killer body, hahaha.
So, with my fingers and toes crossed, here goes nothing.
Friday, October 15, 2010
I guess we can never tell
I had a case at the clinic yesterday which is now troubling me.
Basically this man presented at the casualty with a fractured neck of femur following a history of trivial injury. He came at 10pm, THREE WEEKS after the fall. Later on I was informed that he had been walking with crutches for the past 6 months prior to that after allegedly hearing a crack from the joint.
Now, I was the one who saw him at the A&E. He was brought in by his daughter who claims to be a GP in one of the East Coast states. Since the patient is now pain-free, I offered to allow him home and gave him a date at the clinic.
So, he came and was informed that the lesion on his bone looked suspicious. Sans daughter, he refused everything and was discharged.
Imagine my surprise when another daughter who is apparently a nurse, came to the clinic and requested to be seen by my specialist, about 3 months later. Maybe 'surprise' isn't the word I would use. Amused? Puzzled? Perplexed?
In ward, we proceeded to work him up for more sinister causes. He continued to be uncooperative, only hesitantly agreeing for invasive procedures after being coaxed by his daughters.
Anyway, the CT scan showed multiple metastases but the primary hasn't been identified yet. I spoke to the children, who brought a family friend who openly displayed his DR (I mean, couldn't he just introduced himsef?) without the father present. I explained that he is now unsuitable for any surgical intervention on his femur and the more important issue now is to find out the cause.
Though I silently thought, with the advanced stage that he is, is it even worth finding out where it came from?
I spoke to the pakcik and he looked in relatively good spirits. Before he left, he said something that left me pondering. He said, "Doctor, I hope that we could leave the past behind us. I am now open to all your treatment choices and will give my full cooperation"
His statement continues to play in my mind and I wonder what brought that on.
and I wonder if it is now too late?
Basically this man presented at the casualty with a fractured neck of femur following a history of trivial injury. He came at 10pm, THREE WEEKS after the fall. Later on I was informed that he had been walking with crutches for the past 6 months prior to that after allegedly hearing a crack from the joint.
Now, I was the one who saw him at the A&E. He was brought in by his daughter who claims to be a GP in one of the East Coast states. Since the patient is now pain-free, I offered to allow him home and gave him a date at the clinic.
So, he came and was informed that the lesion on his bone looked suspicious. Sans daughter, he refused everything and was discharged.
Imagine my surprise when another daughter who is apparently a nurse, came to the clinic and requested to be seen by my specialist, about 3 months later. Maybe 'surprise' isn't the word I would use. Amused? Puzzled? Perplexed?
In ward, we proceeded to work him up for more sinister causes. He continued to be uncooperative, only hesitantly agreeing for invasive procedures after being coaxed by his daughters.
Anyway, the CT scan showed multiple metastases but the primary hasn't been identified yet. I spoke to the children, who brought a family friend who openly displayed his DR (I mean, couldn't he just introduced himsef?) without the father present. I explained that he is now unsuitable for any surgical intervention on his femur and the more important issue now is to find out the cause.
Though I silently thought, with the advanced stage that he is, is it even worth finding out where it came from?
I spoke to the pakcik and he looked in relatively good spirits. Before he left, he said something that left me pondering. He said, "Doctor, I hope that we could leave the past behind us. I am now open to all your treatment choices and will give my full cooperation"
His statement continues to play in my mind and I wonder what brought that on.
and I wonder if it is now too late?
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