The end of an era

So this is it. After nearly 5 years (and then plus the one I came here right after I completed my housemanship training) in Hospital Tanah Merah, I am leaving.

I am very bad at saying goodbyes. Partly because I don't think anyone would miss me. Afterall, work is work and very rarely do I get on personal terms with my colleagues and staff. Though I am cordial with them, I find that they would usually go to the friendlier MOs for favours.

WHICH, is fine with me, because favours can be awkward. Some people think they can request special 'stuff' because you are nice with them. Like signing medical check ups without really examining the patient. Or hiding certain facts about the parents' medical background. Or writing support letters to get someone transferred. Or providing MCs for someone who is just too lazy to return to work after the Raya holiday. Heck, even my sisters won't get an MC from me if they aren't really sick!

I am also known as the serious one at work. I am also bad at small talk - as I've repeatedly mentioned before. I find that when I have nothing substantial to say, I tend to revert to talking rubbish or even worse, gossips. So I made a resolution to avoid speaking unless necessary.

However, after five years working at the same place, it is impossible not to be on a personal level with the people you work with. We visit each other when someone is ill, we celebrate new additions to the family - it becomes almost family-like.

and how does one say goodbye to family?

To my 'partner in crime', whom I know reads my blog occasionally - you are like a member of my family. I hope now that we are not working together, that we will continue to be friends. You are one of the rare breed of people whom I can tolerate even after major squabbles. Bagitau aku, dgn sape lagi aku boleh berbaik semula walaupun lepas gaduh2? Takde kan. I don't think we need farewell speeches because good friends already know everything that is unsaid. Halalkan semua ilmu yg kau dah turunkan kat aku, halalkan yg termakan terminum. Apa2, kau carik aku tau.

Goodbye HTM - panjang umur kita jumpa lagi.

Help!

I've a tonne of butterflies flying in my stomach and I don't know how to get rid of them! I've not been this nervous - not even the day I got married - for a very long time.

I am suspecting that it will get even worse as the day approaches.

Doubts are creeping in like there's no tomorrow and I've even started to get nightmares about people quitting!

Deep breaths, very deep breaths.