Presenting....

.....the rest of the family, plus three more I acquired while on a short break in KL with the family.


Fifi - previously the only lady. When I first found her in a box in the hedges near my house, she could fit unto my palm!


Moody tau Fifi nie - PMS or teenage angst?


I found Fizzy huddled up from the cold and rain one evening while at the Pasar Ramadhan. She was seeking shelter underneath a Waja and the car had just driven away leaving her exposed.


Cute kan Fizzy sekarang?


My Yin and Yang. Asal air cond pasang je, lentuk....

After Budak Kecik passed away due to the chronic abscess on his left hip, I really didn't feel like facing another situation like that, but this forummer at cari.com.my caught my eye. He had a litter of kittens and now wasn't able to take care of four more cats (he already has 4). I wanted a blackie but I didn't think it'll be wise to take just one. I mean, dah la kena pisah ngan mak and adik beradik, kena duduk rumah org sorang2 pulak tu.....anyhow, we met near 1 Utama and now these three scamps are living with me!


Ciki, Ciku and Cumi (formerly Betty, Black and Billy) snooping around Ma's garden after they got over their initial shyness.


Cumi stalking Ciku.


I think I'm safe now...


Aha! I'm gonna get you now!


Ayis excited at having cats around the house.


Ciki sizing Ayis up.

I wish I had a nice garden like Ma's for my cats to run around in. Ciki got so excited, she even managed to fall into Ma's fish pond. Nasib baik pandai berenang....

What I did on Friday

One of the jobs an MO has to do, which most of the time involves time outside the usual working hours (like we don't have enough on calls already!), is to be on standby with a medical team for certain functions.

A few years back I was ordered to standby at Sultan (presently the Agong) Mizan's world famous Endurance Race. When we arrived, the thing was at its last hours so we stayed for an hour then went home. Earlier, I had the chance to standby at the Royal Visit at the so called elite school at Lembah Bidung. I must say, the minister of education cuts a dashing figure in real life.

Anyway, the medical team from HTM had been called numerous times before to Bukit Bunga. Beats me why as Bukit Bunga is in Jeli.

So there I was early morning today. We arrived early and bagged the prime parking space. I went on a tour of the bridge and I can now proudly say I've stepped on Thai soil without a passport! Hehe.


Banner on our side of the bridge.


Banner on their side. People in beige are their police officers.


View of Buketa from the bridge.


Tebing Buketa by Golok River.


Abg askar Thailand posted at Sg Golok.


Another view of Golok River from the bridge.


Seating area for the public. Sedih betul.


Kak TJ is somewhere in there, fuming she had to represent the boss..hehe.


Seating area for VIPs - tak ke antara dua darjat gitu...?


Dekat dua jam penyambut Pak Lah nie berdiri tunggu - nasib baik la tak panas...


Kenal tak, kenal tak??


Salam, jgn tak salam...


I wonder what he was saying to the Kelantanese folks..


My medical team. Muka senyum tapi perut lapar takde sape tahu...


Thailand heli covering the event.

Pak Lah was supposed to arrive at quarter past ten (we were there at quarter to nine) and after making a speech followed by another speech by Thai PM, to pay a visit to a school in Buketa. Pukul 11 suku takde bayang batang hidung pun. Alih2, Datuk Pa pulak bagi speech. Mula2 dia announce Pak Lah lewat sebab kapal terbang patah balik ke KL due to some technical fault. Then, he made his speech. I think Hamid Albar spoke a few words too. Followed by the Thai Minister of Foreign Affairs.

Don't ask me what they spoke about, I came prepared with two chic lits, a bag of tit bits and settled down in the comfy seat in the ambulance.

Pak Lah finally showed up at quarter past 12 and right after he arrived, people started to go home in droves. Ye lah, buat lagi la function hari Jumaat, Pak Lah oiii......org nak gi solat Jumaat... He started on a speech but then a chinese couple came to our ambulance, complaining that the wife is feeling nauseous. After vomiting twice, they asked us if we could escort them to their car which was parked about a km+ away. Nasib baik right after we left them at their car, the convoy of black Perdanas drove by, which meant we were free to go home, wha-hey!

So, folks, that was how I spent my weekend....Click on the piccies to get a better picture.

Raya blues

It's Raya Haji and I feel like crawling into a deep hole and sleeping the holidays away.

Ho hum.

Lately I'm getting myself more and more acquainted with the colour BLUE. I feel blue most times nowadays. It's worse during the holiday period, when Abg's family returns from KL and the whole family gets together and I find myself missing my own family.

Everyone else is at the mosque right now and later they are going to mulah Mek's grave to recite the Yasin. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous (I can never spell that word!) and just cannot face seeing everybody's happy Raya faces. So I told Abg to give my excuses to everyone.

Sigh.

and right now I'm almost deciding that I would like to get dressed and make a dash to my car and just drive somewhere. Tapi, sebab nak jaga air muka Abg punya pasal, I am staying here.

I think I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown lah. and on a Raya morning some more. What joy.

NOT.

Blogger's block

So I'm posting pictures of Bubu instead.


Bubu cukup suka masuk dlm plastic bag. Tak tau naper.


Bubu tgh terbongkang tidur.

Bubu lapar la...lapar lapar lapar....


Org cakap...org lapar...dah dah la type blog tuuu...


Heee.....me no friend you lah....

The many shades of grey...

...is the colours that I am seeing each time I step out of the house in the morning! Water, water everywhere! It hasn't flooded big time in Kelantan for quite sometime and I know the kids are excited. Who would've thought the sight of a collection of water can get people mesmerised for hours.....(come to Kelantan during the monsoon season and you will know what I mean. People actually set up makeshift stalls selling kacang rebus and what nots by the bridge to cater for the mass of people who have come to see the rising level of water!)

Anyway, FIL is warded at the moment. He's been having fever last week and then developed diarrhoea. It didn't help that I was also ill (I do not recommend doing your on call with a high grade fever and runny nose, no sir ree...) and was bed ridden post call.

At the risk of people who know me reading this (be it family or colleagues), I really am not keen having this situation in my hands.

First, how do you handle relatives who think you are the big shot (on the contrary, I am just a minion) doctor who is all mighty and powerful, thus can do anything, even admitting half the kampung wayyyyy before visiting hours? I was just walking to the casualty from the canteen when I turned around and spotted a familiar face. In a split second, one familiar face became 5 familiar faces. Before I knew it, about 10 people from my FIL's kampung was trailing behind me on their way to see him. It was about half hour before visiting time and one pakcik (who's not even on good terms with my FIL's family, okay) had the nerve to pipe up, 'Ala, ada doktor kan, mesti boleh masuk punya'....hello? I tak kenal pun you sape...I punya la malu kat pakcik jaga, the moment they knew where FIL's bed is, I quickly turned around and sped off.

Sigh.

Secondly, how do you separate the doctor-you and the daughter-in-law-you? What do you do when you hear not-so-nice things about your colleagues? Is it right for you to interfere with the management of his case? Do you let it be known that the patient is your 'waris' or do you prefer if he was treated like the others? Is it fair that he gets special treatment just because his son married a doctor who happened to work at that hospital? Do you interfere with every single step of his care (tut-tutting about how the sheets have not been changed, or why the IVD isn't running or whether tepid sponging has been done) or do you stand silently at the peripheries and let your staff do their work as they have always done and you would not have bothered if this was just any other patient?

Pening tau. and it's definitely not the effects of my bout of flu.

Cuai and lalai...

I'm still reeling from the shock.

It wasn't a bad call last night; I did, however, only got to crawl into bed at about 2 am and was woken up 2 hours later by a staff nurse who had brought down a baby who was grunting.

Babies are really fiddly to manage; I ended up staying with this lil one till about half seven, putting in a UVC and waking up my specialist from her sleep. Sorry Dr D! Then, it was regular work what with the Ortho Clinic still running unefficiently due to the disruption in the x ray service.

We finished looking at patients and I trudged off home at about quarter past one.

I realised that I was sleepier than usual but I really thought I could handle it. One minute I was contemplating overtaking the satria in front of me and the next an incoming car was honking at me and I found that the car had drifted into the other lane. In a flash I got into my lane, my heart pounding like it was going to fly off my chest.

Takut giler.

Seriously.

but even in that flash, I realise now how disorientated I was. I still couldn't recall what had happened to the car that had honked at me. Was I far gone into the other lane? What if I had drifted into the monsoon drain? More importantly, had I caused an accident? I remember checking my rear view mirror but couldn't really see anything to indicate so.

*sigh*

How could I have been so careless?

Welcome and Goodbye....

Welcome to kitty number 4 and bye bye to Mimi and Momot (which has been changed for the time being to Fifi and Fizzy by my two nieces Mila and Asilah).

The three-shop canteen at my hospital had been seeing a steady increase in the number of strays lately. Most of the time the cats leave you alone but a friendly 'tsk tsk tsk' will always bring the sociable ones to you. Which is still puzzling me as to why I decided to choose the most unfriendly one of them all to bring home on Friday.

The moment Abg opened the box I brought him home in, he jumped right underneath my SIL's car. and totally refused to budge. Kejar kanan, dia lari kiri. Kejar kiri dia lari kanan. Kejar kanan kiri (by this time Asilah decided to join in), dia lari masuk enjin kereta.

After a while he was nowhere to be seen, and we all thought he might have run off but then Asilah managed to spot his scraggly tail from behind the car tyres and the chase began again.

We finally decided to back out the cars but still no kitty. On a last hunch, I told Abg to pop the car's hood and lo and behold, lil kitty was shaking his fur off in between the engine stuff. Apa la punya anak kucing....

A short visit to the neighbourhood vet (Fifi and Fizzy needed their first vaccination anyway) the next day revealed a swelling just above his left hip. She doesn't think it's a fracture and gave painkillers and some ointment to rub on the painful area. Bubu and the other two has been leaving the newcomer alone, preferring to jump all over everything else, as they usually do when let out of the cage.

So anyway, my two nieces have been saying that their father is on the lookout for a cat to keep in their kitchen. Preferably one who is of the 'menikus' nature. I decided to let them keep Fifi and Fizzy for a week to see if things will work out. So, bleh la guna cage for the sick kitty. Since it's the school holidays, at least the kittens wouldn't be left in the cage all day.

Sedih jugak la tgk Fifi and Fizzy leaving - macam saying goodbye to your own anak, okay... but at least when the new kitty gets better, I can be on the lookout for another one to rescue!

My vet also happens to sell kitties as a side income. Mostly domestic long hairs - I think if you're looking for breeds, Mawardi Pet Centre in Kubang Kerian is your best bet; the other day he was selling Bengal kittens for RM1.5k, okay?? Terkejut den - but still pricey, though. She asked me 'Tak teringin nak bela kucing mahal ke?' - I sengih je. It's not that I can't afford it but if you ask me, if you say you love cats, you love cats, period. Doesn't matter if they're pure breed or kucing kampung. It's not that I have anything against people who buy their cats, go ahead and do whatever you fancy; it's just that I just love the thrill (if you can call it that lah! I certainly think it is) of picking up a scraggly, starving kitty and nurturing and spoiling it and seeing it grow and be happy, you know what I mean? :)

It's half two in the morning and I can't sleep...

Thank anyone it may concern for internet connection at the labour room! It's 2.40 am and I can't sleep. I know I should be, but I never sleep properly when I'm on call anyway, and I can always sleep tomorrow.

Maybe I'm just racked with guilt. A man was brought in just past midnight for tendency to wander, not sleeping and talking inappropriately. Apparently, he is a known case of schizophrenia and has not been taking his medication for quite some time. I had just returned from KB after escorting an unfortunate case of cord prolapse and am not in the best of moods, and certainly NOT in the mood of seeing a loony at midnight.

I noticed that people tend to abuse the casualty department and treat it more like their come and go clinic. Imagine having to see a case of a week old kudis at 11 pm at night? Tak ke membara dibuatnya? I've had no qualms about telling these people off for misusing the A&E and I certainly made my feelings clear to the relatives of the mentally unstable guy squatting in the middle of my casualty department.

Tapi betul ckp DBI, lepas marah, rasa bersalah tu berat sgt di hati and menyesal sangat tapi inilah masalahnya bila berckp terlalu mengikut perasaan and emosi.

I had spent the afternoon practising my sutures. The early part of the afternoon after office hours was rather quiet that it gave me butterflies in my stomach. It was like the calm before a storm, you know? My storm came in the form of a primigravida with twins who actually had been planned for elective caesarian section in two weeks. She came in labour and had spontaneous rupture of her membranes. Since her first twin is lying transverse, surprise surprise (NOT), we had a cord prolapse on our hands. Within 20 minutes of arriving she was already pushed unto an ambulance heading straight to KB.

Sadly though, initial scan at the labour room in KB showed that the first twin's heart beat can no longer be seen. Sigh.

I hate days like these.

Mak Long, meh Hannah bawak beg Mak Long....


Yeah, saya sangat suka makan papaya...


Shakeel takde souvenir dari Sabah ke Mak Long?

Siapa sangka...

...anak kucing comot yang merayau kat OPD hospital tu.....




..oitttt.....tgk apa tu?

boleh jadi comel dan gebu macam nie....



Okey, shoo, Bubu nak tidur.....

Easier in than out?

My patients are like time bombs, I contemplate silently as I drove home post call this wet, winterlike drizzly morning along the TM-Machang road.

Many of them come relatively well yet at the slightest provocation or in some none at all, may trigger such an explosive chain of events that you as the doctor is simply blown away.

I've not had a, may I even call it dramatic, on call in a long long time. and I don't wish to have one similar to it in an equally if not longer time.

Referrals all day and two deaths upon arrival at HRPZ's casualty. Hmm, the MOs there are probably cursing me under their breaths.

Both deaths are octogenerians, but doesn't mean it is less painful to their beloved.

As I sit here watching my kittens being bullied by big fat Bubu, I wonder how the families are doing. Did they regret the decisions they made? Are they happy with the way I handled their cases?

The first difficult case in the morning initiated a disagreement among the family members. When she deteriorated, there was only one son and he told me specifically to go all out in managing her. When the rest of the clan turned up, it was a different story altogether. I was already being called to attend to an actively bleeding upper GI bleed case in the male ward so I left the case to my senior MO who, upon returning from escorting a case of a fully dilated transverse lie in labour, was called immediately to escort this one.

She told me later that the eldest son was unhappy that the decision to intubate and refer his mother was made without the whole family's agreement.

This is the dilemma; the decision to intubate or not is a very difficult one to be made by an MO, especially one who is oncall alone on a public holiday. When I am faced with an increasingly distressed patient, I can't just stand there and do nothing.

It was further complicated when during the resuscitation period, practically the whole kampung was watching us; most likely thinking the modern doctor is only torturing a soul who is ready to go. Yet, at the same time, we often get berated for denying them the chance to say goodbye.

I knew, practically, she was not the best candidate for active resuscitation yet till now I am still at loss for words when I try explaining this to the family. How do you tell family members to let go? Is letting go the same as giving up?

Furthermore, if I was faced with this, would I be rational enough to make the right decision?

My 2 sen

I wanted to blog about my holiday in KK but I've already written a really long review of it on forum Cari at the Travel thread and I know if I still went on and wrote it, it'd end up so crap so I might as well not bother.

BTW, RKM, I finally got your bro's kukis last week!! Haa, begitu lamanya coveted kukis tu nak sampai ke bumi Pulai Chondong nie...! and they are so sedap...! Tapi kalau buat simple choc chip instead of double choc chip pun sedap kot....hmm, yum yum.

There was a big bruhaha a few moons back about the issue of student vets and their piccies of holding piglets and a dog. Ingat tak? Seriously, kesian minah dlm gambar tu; I mean I'm sure she didn't mean for her personal photographs to be flaunted all over cyberspace, kan and some more for complete strangers to judge and call her names.

Well, anyhow, basically EVERYONE had an opinion on it and some of them were very mean! Hello, you are questioning her beliefs as a Muslim tapi yg kau kutuk sakan tu berperangai islamik sangat ke? Again, I am tending to hold back on my own opinions because ye la, aku nie pun bukan la pandai sgt tapi I don't see anything wrong with it. Yang salah adalah kalau dia makan daging babi tu or terpegang anjing tu dlm keadaan salah satu permukaan tu basah and itupun ada cara2 untuk mensucikan diri balik.

Besides, Islam teaches us to care and to love sesama makhluk and I don't think Allah ever intended us to be partial to dogs and pigs, kan?

Okay, before any of my readers nak letak komen about how you think I am wrong and a jahiliah, stop now and get out of my blog okay - go rant at the forums. This is my opinion and I didn't ask for yours.

I remember when I was at school, budak melayu had this 'thing' against babi sampaikan nak dgr diorg sebut perkataan babi pun tak nak. A bit like Harry Potter and his "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" Voldermort. When I called a pig a pig, I would either be greeted with shocked gasps or the 'oooh,-the-mixed-girl-has-done-something-really-naughty' look which I tended to get often back then.

But to me, it wasn't a big deal. I mean, pig is babi, the same like tiger is harimau. Itu je. So, why the phobia?

Just digressing a bit, I am reminded of this time I went to this gift store at KB Mall - the very pink dominated two-door store next to the perfume department at Pacific. So, this young thing, complete with very short scarf tied 'mulut itik' style under the chin and ponytail berjuntai at the back, very short-short t shirt with short-short sleeves and tight-tight jeans was following me around. I was looking at soft toys and was looking at random teddy bears and suddenly found myself holding one of those fluffy pink piggies. The young thing (God bless her, I do think she was only trying to be helpful) 'mencebikkan mulut' to the poor soft toy piggy and said 'Tak cantik lah yang tu kak, yang nie cantik!' and held up lil Piglet of the Pooh and the Ashdown Forest gang!

and Yes, one of my infamous Zings was just waiting to be launched but I decided to be nice for a change and left quietly.


My point is though, that sometimes we forget that people tend to have different perspectives to ours. I tend to forget that more often nowadays. Just like the girls in the pictures are 'tak-kisah' towards pigs and doggies, I think the longer I work as a doctor, the more 'tak-kisah' am I towards death. To me, it's become just another process of life.

It all depends on your perspective and how we accept other peoples' and perhaps this world would be a better place to live in if we all understood that.

My cerita Raya

Since everyone I know posted something about their Raya celebration, I think maybe I should jot something down as well.

I went to watch Bourne Ultimatum for Raya.

Seriously.

Ma and Pa decided that they couldn't be bothered to drive back to KB this year. Travelling can be really taxing when you get to my parents age. Furthermore, a 6-7 hour journey to KB can easily be a 12 hour nightmare during the festive season.

So I decided to fly back to KL after the Raya prayers. Prayers was short but very crammed; seriously, someone should get my FIL's kampung a new mosque and quick! Some people even prayed on mats on the ground outside the building. Then followed by a visit to mulah Mek's grave before the routine jaunt around the kampung, starting with Mok We's house, then to Pok Nik Kadir's, Tok Su Bidah, Tok De and Tok Choh. By 12 noon we were out of the house, making our way to KB to visit Tok and Tok Ayah.

We found the house quiet. Only Che' Han and Makcik Siah was around and they only managed to arrive at 5 am that morning! Kesian Tok. Everyone else has decided to celebrate at the other side's house this year.

The flight was about half full. There were only about 8 malays on board. As usual, I kept myself amused by watching the nyonyas and apeks antics of kiasuism.

Arrived home at about 6. Stuffed myself with about 6 helpings of my mum's food and went to bed with stomach cramps. Padan muka!

The next day we - hubby, me, sis Yaya, bro Pian and bro Wan - went to 1 Utama for some sibling bonding. Again, we were the only malays in the theatre. In fact, afterwards, we barely saw malay faces in the whole shopping mall. Even managed to do some shopping: bought my favourite perfume ever, Gucci Envy (kedekut punya SA, bagi aku compact mirror je! Haha) and some clothes for Safwan. and lunch was at TGIF before we headed home.

Dinner? A barbeque.

How typically unRaya it was.

But we had fun and that's all that matters. Ma was saying I shouldn't have wasted money on flying back but I can see that she was pleased that we came home.

So, how was YOUR raya?

Itchy feet

Hopefully, in about a week's time, I will be on board one of these....


staying here....


then travelling to see this...


and buying lots and lots of these.....


*last two pics courtesy of Kinokuniya from cari.com.my

A heavy heart and a bleeding tongue...

..is what a wife has.

I have never considered myself a patient person. I speak without thinking, which is why I don't talk much in unfamiliar surroundings. On top of being impatient, I'm also very brash. and crude. and tactless.

I still am, but at a much lesser degree now. Being a wife teaches you that.

At the beginning of my marriage, I used to speak my mind all the time. and my mind tends to speak very loudly and harshly. I knew it hurt Abg a lot, yet, in a bizarrely twisted way, I was enjoying seeing Abg that way. It was as if I was testing him, bending him way backwards to see how much he can take before he breaks; and trust me when I say I can bend a lot.

Not once has he broken.

He has stood there, silently, waiting for my temper to subside and he picks up the thread as if nothing had happened - making that face that he knows will make me laugh, pull me into his arms as we lay in bed- and things are alright again.

So, I am shamed and humbled and will repeatedly make that promise that I will never ever do that again.

And I am getting better. My lashings now stay in my thoughts and my temper stays in my heart. Even when one escapes, I can still bite my tongue and hold it in. Afterall, it is better to have a bleeding tongue than a bleeding heart.

Confession...

Doctors make the worst patients.

Seriously.

Take me. I have been sick for the past few days (since Friday, hence no masak-masak entry as promised, boo); fever, sore throat (seriously sore, bukan gatal2 je tau) and runny nose. It continued till Saturday when the right side of the throat started to get painful as well. On Sunday I had to attend a court hearing which was AGAIN postponed (kalau kes asyik tangguh, lawyers nie buat apa agaknya huh?) but by the afternoon, my condition worsened and I thought there is no way I could go to work tomorrow. So I went to HTM and showed my throat to my senior MO.

She diagnosed it as Peritonsillar Abscess.

Eww.

Nevertheless she prescribed me some antibiotics and gave me a day off provided I get other MOs to cover my duty.

Incidentally my monthly migraine (which usually precedes my menses by about a week) was not helped by the long journey I had to make into Peralla (jauh gila ok!) for something I had to do. By 6 pm I was in bed, head feeling like being eaten from inside and nauseous (I had to Google for the correct spelling of this, can you believe it!) like anything.

Crawled my way for iftar, had yoghurt (couldn't swallow anything else) and then went straight to bed.

However, miraculously, my pounding headache disappeared about half ten.


Anyhow, I've taken only 2 doses of my antibiotics and throat is already feeling much better. I can hear my mother's voice pestering us to finish the course of medication whenever we were ill enough to require them. In fact I myself repeatedly tell my patients to never waste their antibiotics, yet here I am already doubting that I'd finish the 7 day course. Teruk, kan?

No, Suriana, you WILL finish those antibiotics. You WILL finish those antibiotics.

My pre Raya rant

Bubu yang semakin gemuk.


Latest addition to the family. Lil Blue Eyes (but no, that's not his name).

In one of the rare moments when he is still enough for me to take his picture.

Can you believe that Raya is next weekend? I barely can. This fasting month has simply whizzed by!

As usual Kelantan is experiencing a noticeable influx of cars on the road. It's taking me longer to get to TM than usual. And don't even get me started on KB! If you're not in KB by half nine - ten, jgn harap la nak dapat parking. Last weekend, I'd promised my two nieces, Amila and Asilah that we would get baju rayas for them. We had planned to leave by quarter past 9, but somehow we had a family emergency which held us up till about 10. Nevertheless we went, since we already promised the two kids. It took us 30 mins to get from the junction at Jln Telipot to Billion (about 1 km road)! Arrgh, tension! Rupa-rupanya, Billion happened to be holding a massive three-day sale on its clothes. I tell you, how do parents do it, I don't know.

Everyone seems excited; one of my specialists even had his week long holiday at his kampung all planned out. In fact all of my specialists have decided to take the rest of the week post Raya holidays off. I think the four-day holiday will be quite sufficient, thank you very much. Ma and the rest are highly unlikely to be staying in KB for long.

We have a weird concept of Raya, our family. Maybe it's not so much the concept but the family itself kot. We've always considered our family to be different compared to my aunts' and uncles'. When we would be laughing (loudly, if I may add) and joking with each other (almost often with some slightly inappropriate anecdotes thrown into the mix); my cousins are most likely to be sitting QUIETLY and demurely in one corner of Tok's house. I can't help wondering whether they are just shy or something else. I go to other people's houses and I envy those cousins who have relationships more akin to good friends rather than strangers you meet once or twice a year.

My Tok and Tok Ayah have always been very......hmm, what is the word I am looking for here? Proper? Conservative? I've never seen Tok laugh loudly and in fact, I've never seen Tok Ayah laugh! I see grandmothers kissing their grandkids and I know THAT doesn't happen in my family. Everything has to be done according to what Tok said. Tok Ayah just stays in his office and comes out when his presence is required. I'm not saying this is bad; after all this is how it has always been so I do not know any other Tok and Tok Ayah.

***********************************

I've been having a cold for the past week. This is weird for someone who barely gets ill. It started with Abg getting his URTI which then transferred to me, but just as I am about to recover, I developed another round of itchy throat, runny nose and fever. It got so bad I had to break my fast to take some paracetamol. This morning my throat is so sore I could only drink a couple of glasses of cold water with my medication. So there goes my weekend of baking cake. Today I'm on standby for any emergency caesarian section so I'm not sure if starting a baking project would be wise.

I do, however, HAVE to complete my last beading project for Che' Su, my SIL. Since the stupid tailor at Kiosk DiRaja in Wakaf Che Yeh completely ruined my baju raya, there won't be any beaded baju for me this year. Ho hum.

Well, anyhow, in case this is my last entry before Raya, Selamat Hari Raya everyone!

p/s: last night I shone a torch into my own throat and discovered that my tonsils are the size of small mountains. Ho hum.

Unsettled

I feel like I should write something but I'm not really sure what I should write.

Something happened to day that me feel unsettled. I tell myself to brush it off and that I will most likely feel differently in the morning but the feeling is there just the same.

Nama saya Wan Nazmi Hariz.



Saya sangat suka panjat stroller.



Walaupun saya tak banyak berckp,....



orang kata senyuman saya sgt kiuttt.....