Things that were left unsaid

To my sister who got married a few weeks ago, Selamat Pengantin Baru. I am writing here the words that were left unspoken in all the chaos that was your wedding. You know how it is; no matter how prepared our mother is, she will always find something to do at the very last minute and end up being very very hassled.

I love you Ma, but you are what you are and those are the things that makes you, you and we love you nevertheless.

I am jotting down here little things that I wanted to say but ended up being masked behind silly remarks while clowning around. Things that you may want to take to heart or maybe not; it doesn't really matter for these are things that you may go through yourself but I think I should mention because I am your big sister after all.

I will not go as far as calling them words of wisdom, for I know, with only 5 years of marriage, wisdom is far from what I have.

Enjoy your married life. Enjoy the companionship, the love and laughter that will definitely adorn your lives from now onwards. I hope the man you married is not just your lover but also your best friend; someone who will not judge you for making a harmless remark on someone who was mean to you but who will accept it as a part of the person you are.

I hope he will share your happiness and also your sorrow, who will hold your hand until the pain has passed.

Have at hand bucketfuls of love and affection, tonnes of sense of humour and unlimited patience - there will come a day when you will have your first big argument and I hope during these times that you do not ponder on all the things that are bad but to concentrate on the things that are good. Having had a few big arguments ourselves, I know that that is easier said than done but try anyway.

Take time to enjoy each other - to celebrate all that you have in common and to appreciate those that you don't. Have respect for each other's opinion, no matter how radically different it can be. Afterall, someone who agrees with you all the time can be pretty boring after a few months.

Always find time to make each other feel special, no matter how hectic life can be. The gestures doesn't have to be grand or OTT but small things can make a difference; like remembering his favourite kuih or making his favourite drink even when he doesn't ask for it.

Being a wife means that sometimes you have to bite your tongue - in an argument, refrain from saying things that you may regret later, no matter how much satisfaction you think you might get from 'letting it all out' - you can never take it back, and the harm would have been done.

I wish I could say that 'happily ever after' starts now but you and I both know that the fairy tale concept doesn't exist in real life. But I've always believed that one needs a few glitches in their lives to truly appreciate all that is good in life. Have an awesome journey and make every moment count!

Love,
Akak