What if....

When we started our 5-month elective period, June seemed so far away. Furthermore, I was doing my elective posting in a department which didn't pique my interest so much and I spent much of my days just standing around, seemingly observing but in reality planning my holiday abroad in my head.

Now that the holiday has passed and we have gone on to the second posting, entering second year seemed more of a reality and it is starting to hit me slowly. I realise that I will now have to keep my head down and start reading journals and practice long cases and spend afternoons on short cases with my lecturers. Acck.

The fact that I am back in Kelantan and cleaning the house and buying plants and moving furniture - did not help at all. In fact, the last few weeks I had been moaning, whining and lamenting the fact that my Masters programme might have been a mistake afterall and I HAVE ALWAYS wanted to be just a housewife and that becoming a doctor was a fluke. Heck, I was even talking to my Cempaka Telur plant while I was replanting it!

Why is it that we always want what we don't have? Whoever coined the saying 'The grass is always greener on the other side' was a genius because there is no truer saying than that.

But, wouldn't it be nice to spend your mornings leisurely sipping coffee while reading the newspaper (online of course) and then going to the garden for a spot of weeding before it gets too hot. By noon I would have had my dinner menu planned out, complete with a freshly baked cake - and now that I am a lady of leisure, I would even squeeze in an hour of embroidering. When Abg drives in into the driveway, I would be at the door greeting him with a smile and handing him a glass of juice (freshly squeezed) before I peel off his socks. Haha.

In reality though what would have happened is that I would wake up late, get online, insist that hubby iron his own shirt and trousers before sending him off to work - NOT before he buys me nasi berlauk first of course! I would then continue surfing the net and bloghopping and leaving unnecessary comments in forums, not even bothering to shower and then bug hubby with questions of 'When are you coming home?' when it isn't even two pm.

Maybe I am exaggerating but the point is, we would always think that we would be a better person if we were to be in another situation. 'I would be more hardworking' or 'I would be doing more aerobics and eat healthier meals' - but once we are in that different situation, of course, we would look longingly at another person's life or worse, the life we just recently left and think the same.

A few years back, Gwyneth Paltrow was in this movie where they showed what would have happened should she have taken one route instead of the other - you know when you are faced with a crossroad and you wished you knew what would happen if you had taken route A rather than B? I don't remember what happened in the end - I do remember it's theme song though, a rather catchy tune by Aqua which is playing in my head right this instant and would likely be stuck there for the rest of the day no doubt.

Wouldn't it be great if we could choose the course of our lives like an algorithm, see what the end result is and being able to pick out the one that we liked best?