A weighty issue

Mum used to say that I have the total opposite of anorexia. You know la when anorexics think that they are fat when they are absolutely not; well Ma says that I think I'm not when I am so obviously overweight.

Seriously.

I've always had a weight problem since young. There was never a time when I'm not chubby or montel or sihat or semangat. But despite that, I've never had an intense desire to lose the extra flab. Teruk, tak?

I seriously envy people who have the willpower to say no to another helping of nasi minyak or meehun or even a slither of chocolate. What drives them to the sheer discipline, I wonder? Could it be the love of nice clothes and being able to fit into them? I get that sometimes, when I sigh lustfully at the nice off-the-rack clothes on sale at Jusco, tapi, the moment I step out of the ladies department and into the supermarket or bakery, out goes all lustful thoughts out the window and unto the nice creamed coffee slice, sitting in the display case, calling my name.

Some people lose weight in order to attract attention of the opposite sex - but as I was growing up, in my adolescent years, I don't remember liking a boy so much that I'd rather sit and drink plain water than a plate of nasi lemak while yakking away about how the indian boy in the next class is so intent on beating my English paper marks. Though the popular girls were nice to me, I have never assumed that I was ever one of them and would rather hang out with the so called 'weirdos', quizzing each other on stuff for our SRP exam.

Yes, peeps, I am a minah skema; and I still am actually - apart from when I'm driving, that is.

Health? Oprah once said that she made the decision to start losing weight when she started to have palpitations. Me, palpitations come and go, and STILL takde kesedaran langsung? Am I waiting for a more serious health scare before I really sit down and do this?

I do realise though, that my weight problem might have some contributing factors towards my present childless state. Ma has been telling me repeatedly about someone she knew who really dieted, only ate fruits and water and after losing all the extra pounds, managed to conceive.

I know people look at me in sympathy, wondering what is wrong that she has not managed to get preggy? - but surprise surprise people, I actually LIKE my life without the pitter patter of tiny feet. I'd rather spoil my nieces and nephews and be their favourite Mak Long/Che' Yana and not have the responsibility of making sure they turn out to be decent human beings.

I used to cry whenever it was the time of the month and Abg would pull me into his embrace and tell me that it's okay and that he doesn't mind tapi I know other people talk (among the advantages of having mulut kepochi nieces...:)).

*sigh*

Ntah laaaa - I guess I'm just gonna leave it in the hands of the Almighty. He has taken good care of me - a good family, a good husband and murah rezeki so far - so I'm sure He has something in store for me where kids are concerned.

Busy bee

I really am getting too old for 24 hour calls.

Seriously.

Z left me fairly non congested wards on Saturday morning, and by 1 am Sunday morning, I have managed to admit nearly 20 cases.

No, I'm not complaining - I've repeatedly said that I'd rather be busy with non-urgent-non-impendng-collapse patients the whole day than deal with one difficult resuscitation case. But, if you turn up at 12 midnight with two swollen, red feet which you admit have had for the past two days, you must forgive me for whining a little bit. Patients must really be educated about the role of the emergency department. I'm not sure whether this happens every where else or just in Kelantan or more specifically just Tanah Merah (apparently we have a reputation of never turning away patients), but only here do we have patients with a 5 day abscess or a week old rash coming to the A&E.

Seriously laa...

On a lighter note, a hearty shout out to Najmiah and Syed Akmal whose wedding reception I attended in Pasir Puteh recently. Mafeitz, if you went to the KL reception, I want pictures!!!! :)

Facial Hyperfunctional Lines

I haven't found much inspiration to write lately. I did, come across another fellow MO's blog - DrFrappucino - whom, from what I've gathered, is about my age, just embarking on a journey in Masters Programme and loves coffee.

The last two days was spent at a Dermatology Update. I lurve Dermatology's courses - there are always good freebies around. Paling tidak pun dapat pen. There's just something about medical staff and drug reps - the former cannot not turn kiasu whenever the latter is in close proximity. I was observing the course participants collecting handouts like there was no tomorrow. I wonder just how many of them actually browse through them later. Sorry, cynical me again. Shoo, go back to sleep, I've promised to be good now.

There were, interesting presentations by the drug reps though. One was campaigning this machine called Skin Dr. - which is like my Ogawa vacuum-cleaner-cum-steam-cleaner - it does everything from scaling to iontophoresis (see, I told you I never browse through the pamphlets they gave me) and I never knew they had found over 200 active ingredients in the Aloe Vera plant! They even had this GP come over and gave a talk about Botox (I thought Botox haram meh?) and 'fillers'. He calls it BTA (Botulinum type A - RM1800 a vial apparently) and wrinkles are - let me see, FACIAL HYPERFUNCTIONAL LINES.

I left early - my menstrual cramps was acting up again - I'm sure no one missed me, much more the three male MOs sitting behind me who were yakking away like a gang of makciks on their annual trip to Tangkak to choose material for their Raya curtains.

Seriously!

Yak yak yakking away - a comment for EVERY SINGLE THING! Macam perempuan! Don't they realise how distracting they are to other participants? Nama je MO, perangai macam apa tah......haiyaaaaa.....

I'm on call this Saturday. Though I'm hoping it'd a be a repeat performance of the other time I did a Saturday oncall, I highly doubt it. No one is that lucky.