A heavy heart and a bleeding tongue...

..is what a wife has.

I have never considered myself a patient person. I speak without thinking, which is why I don't talk much in unfamiliar surroundings. On top of being impatient, I'm also very brash. and crude. and tactless.

I still am, but at a much lesser degree now. Being a wife teaches you that.

At the beginning of my marriage, I used to speak my mind all the time. and my mind tends to speak very loudly and harshly. I knew it hurt Abg a lot, yet, in a bizarrely twisted way, I was enjoying seeing Abg that way. It was as if I was testing him, bending him way backwards to see how much he can take before he breaks; and trust me when I say I can bend a lot.

Not once has he broken.

He has stood there, silently, waiting for my temper to subside and he picks up the thread as if nothing had happened - making that face that he knows will make me laugh, pull me into his arms as we lay in bed- and things are alright again.

So, I am shamed and humbled and will repeatedly make that promise that I will never ever do that again.

And I am getting better. My lashings now stay in my thoughts and my temper stays in my heart. Even when one escapes, I can still bite my tongue and hold it in. Afterall, it is better to have a bleeding tongue than a bleeding heart.