Seriously...

...if you really think about it, we live in such a screwed up world.

The older I get, the more aware I am of how screwed up we are. When I was younger, all I wanted was to finish my homework, not make a fool of myself in front of the school crush and see my friends. Perhaps there was more to that but age has given me selective memory storage it seems. I am sure life was as complicated then than it is now.

I woke up early today and read about yet another celebrity getting divorced. I hate reading about divorces. Maybe 'hate' isn't the right word. 'Amused' would be conceived as cold hearted; 'sad' may be thought of as me being dense - divorces are such a normal occurrence now that sometimes I don't see the point of people getting married.

I like attending weddings - they symbolise love, happiness, hope and a new beginning. Weddings give me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, nothing to do I'm sure with being overfed with nasi minyak and ayam masak merah. I look at the newly married couple and I remember how excited I was that I now get to go home with Abg at the end of the day. When I thought of my wedding - it isn't how beautiful the hantarans were or how many came but I remember thinking, 'I will never be alone now.'

I send the newlyweds with silent prayers that their marriage will always be blessed with as much love and joy - I hope that they remember how much they loved each other on their wedding day, though it may not seem that way when things are bad.

As simplistic and as naive as that may sound, being 8 years ago and not knowing what may happen; some will say 'you still don't know what is going to happen in the future, woman' - I felt extremely comforted at knowing that Abg has taken a vow to be with me no matter what and where. Eight years ago, I looked at him and truly believed that we would grow old together, no matter how badly he snored or how fat I got.

Anyway, how can a beginning filled with such joy and love end so easily? What went wrong? What is it that our grandparents and their parents have that make them endure 30, 40 years of marriage? Is getting married serving a different purpose than it used to?

On the other hand, I would totally support divorce in a marriage that involves any form of abuse, of course.

Have we become too independent for our own good?