Of idiotic, ignorant lorry drivers and such...

I had a major nervous breakdown this morning.

Things had been slightly gritty at home for the past few days and my mood have only started to pick up this morning.

Anyway, I was getting ready for work and was trying to find my petticoat. I own THREE petticoats and can't find any that morning. I went on a mini amok and tumbled out all the clothes in the laundry basket and even went through all the mess in my SIL's room but couldn't locate even one.

In a cloud of fury I left home, petticoat-less.

At the turning into the kampung where FIL's house is, a taxi was in front of me signalling right. I snapped on my signal to the left and waited. As the taxi made his right turn, I edged forward and slanted the front of my car to the left in order to merge into the flow of cars. Suddenly this idiotic lorry driver (org suruh gi sekolah, kau main2, dah besar jadi drebar lori bodoh tak guna menyusahkan org!) crawled to a stop right in front of my car, and parked itself!!! I honked my horn as loudly as I can and gave him my most evil stare. Bodoh. Now I had to readjust my car in order to make my left turn. Kau tak nampak ke aku bagi signal bahalol! Typical stupid kiasu Kelantan people attitude, selagi kau boleh parking depan kedai, agaknya atas tangga kedai kau nak letak kereta engkau. Bangang.

Yang sakit hatinya, bila I managed to turn left, si celaka tu boleh pulak horn kat aku macam aku yg salah. Sial. I horn balik in protest and drove off. Kalau tak fikir I dah lewat nak gi kerja, I would have stopped to give him a piece of my mind. Eii, rasa macam nak tikam2 je tayar lorry bawak ice dia tu.

Bodoh. Mana ada org park kereta kat simpang la bangang. Consider la org nak keluar dari simpang tu. If it's not the ice lorry, it's the gas tank lorry. All idiots.

I drove off in a rage and screamed my lungs out in the car. Suddenly it wasn't just about the stupid lorry driver and his inconsiderate driving but it was ALL that was going wrong in my life. I cried tears of rage and frustration and shouted some more. It has gone way beyond lack of privacy or my own home or even losing my petticoats but more like losing a grip on my life and where I want to be headed to. I had dreams and it is slowly trickling away into nothingness.

I am drowning in a river of melancholy and I have no one to turn to.

Nothing in particular

Poor Cumi has been having a bad cold for the past week. His eyes are all swollen and red and he's is sniffling all the time.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by the flu that is making the rounds amongst my cats. The three youngest who first caught it have yet to recover despite getting jabs and now three more cats have been infected.

The only consolation is that despite the runny nose and swollen eyes, all seem to be eating well and running all over the place. Except for Che'Mot whom I think must have some sort of liver disease by the way how distended his tummy is.



My new cage has arrived! I think I will draw a line and stop the madness here. No more stray cats and certainly no more cages. But at least they have more space to stretch out and lie down.



Ruru seems to be doing well. He seems pretty chummy with Che'Lan and spends a good time rolling around and pouncing on each other.

The mother of the three strays will be getting spayed tomorrow. We've been keeping them in the spare cage during the night as the last few days it has been raining in the evenings. Yesterday, silly mummy cat left with the two red/orange tabbies. She's been coming back for food but her two kittens are nowhere to be seen. At least the black one has had some sense to stay put. I hope the two kids are alright. Tried looking for them; they usually come running when I make the 'tsk tsk tsk' sound - but nothing.

Please adopt us!

Last week, while I was getting ready for work, I heard cat growls from outside. It wasn't like male cats trying to intimidate each other, but more like mummy cat trying to shoo away tom cats.

Lo and behold, in the two calverts left in the compound of FIL's house, a family of four had been left there.


Mummy cat with one of the kittens.


Cute, right!?


The three siblings - very playful and energetic.


Close up of one of the kittens - if this doesn't tug at your heartstrings, well, I don't know! :)

I'd love to adopt them but as yet I already have 16 including the mummy cat and 2 kittens I brought home from work. I'm spaying mummy cat this Thursday. She doesn't seem to be getting along well with my other kids - hissing and growling at everyone who passes by. Sheesh. Anti sosial betul!

I'm worried taking on too many will compromise the care of my other kids. As of now I'm already worried about the cost of their food - I'm only able to get them at good prices when I get back to KL (how ironic is that).

Furthermore, the cat flu has been making the rounds with my kids - the three youngest have yet to recover and Cumi and Ciki and Doralin are already having the sniffles.

So, if you know anyone, do tell them about these lovely siblings - did you know that having pets can prolong your life expectancy?

Double standard

I love observing people. Be it people I work with, or people passing by as I go about window shopping. I think there's a lot of entertainment value in observing people's behaviour.

Seriously. Just try and sit on a bench somewhere (1Utama new wing has really comfy ones) and watch people go by. You will laugh, be touched and even cry.

We had a VIP patient at our casualty the other day. You know something important has happened if suddenly there are people the size of a small kampung gathering at the casualty waiting area.

I had been busy in OT all day and only heard about the VIP presenting at our casualty with chest pains.

Now, this VIP is famed, amongst other reasons, for having 4 wives. Allegedly, one of them had been an ex sweetheart of his own son. Juicy, no? I found it amusing that people were more interested in the fact that all his wives had turned up together rather than the nature of his illness!

When I finally went to the casualty department to review my ortho cases, the VIP was still very much the centre of attention. I observed in silence and in much amusement how one of the officers (non MO) at my casualty department was speaking in hushed tones into the phone, pondering on the ECG as if his life depended on it, with cold beads of sweat spattered on his forehead. This is the guy, whom, if this was any other regular patient, would've just walked by and went home.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? It makes ME wonder, anyway. Me, as laser as I can be, I treat my patients the same. My priority depends on the severity of the illness. Of course, I make certain exceptions for members of the profession, I guess in life we have to make some leeway somewhere.

Not just another day at work..

It is inevitable as a doctor to come face to face with death. I wish I could say I remember vividly how I felt when I handled my first death case but I can't. All those deaths that happened in my years of working have intermingled with each other and have become as blurry as the emotions that I feel whenever another life is terminated. However, there are a few that has stayed as clear as if it happened just yesterday.

I was on call on the male side that night. What that means is that there is a near to nil chance of sleeping and almost 98% chance of doing a peritoneal dialysis (PD). I don't know what it is like in other hospitals but in HRPZII, doing a PD is as routine as taking your patient's blood. The first thing a freshie houseman has to learn from his or her senior HO is how to do a PD. It is not unusual to walk into the male ward and see 5 beds in a row with PD dialysate hanging from drip stands.

The patient was placed in the first bed on the left of the ward. He was about 35, and with skin as yellow as anything. I don't know why he was in, I only know that I was supposed to do a PD on him that night. As far as I remember, I followed each step of it by the book and the patient wasn't even in the list of high risk candidates for perforation - introduction of the troca was relatively easy I didn't need to redo it.

The next thing I know, the patient's body convulsed and after a few moments, lay still. I alerted my MO and started CPR but couldn't revive him.

I don't remember what my MO put down as the cause of death but I do remember seeing the faces of his wife and relatives and hearing the wail of his toddler kid. They say kids can see the angel of death coming to do his job. They had come to visit him - ill but at least alive - instead had to return home with a lifeless body.

Yes I was devastated but I didn't have time to dwell on it. Being a houseman means a death is just another day at work. You have to be detached emotionally. I guess I was lucky in the sense that I posessed that detachment and saw all the deaths that happened as just another learning experience.

Yet, despite it happening about 5 years ago I keep soming back to that night and wondering whether it was something I did that resulted in his demise.

There were numerous other deaths - the kid with CP, the many many retroviral patients, my ESRF makcik who spent months in the ward and died alone, the diabetic with gas gangrene who refused amputation until it was too late and died of sepsis. Despite being so blase about it all, you just have to take a moment to remind yourself that even though he/she was just another number on your mortality statistic, he/she was someone's mother/father/sister/brother/wife/husband and to the family, their deaths isn't JUST another day at work.

Update!

I think I just can't be bothered with a separate blog for my furkids, so in the meantime my cat stories will be here.

BEFORE



AFTER







Anyhow, I am putting this family up for adoption. I found them at my hospital's casualty. Apparently they were found sleeping all over the place and one of the kittens died a few days ago. I can't keep them due to the lack of space and the fact that the four 'mousecateers' - Che'Mot, Che'Lan, Che'We and Ruru (though this one's already recovering) have the cat flu and have been sneezing all over the place - just shows me how badly I need more cages which I can't get at the moment.



I hope future mummy and/or daddy to the kittens would be able to adopt them together or better still the whole family. I'm hoping to spay the mother soon and maybe rereleasing her.



This one's got a light dusting of white fur on top of the black. Nice long perfect tail too. It would be interesting to see how kitty turns out.



This one's smaller than the black one. Both are still dependant on the mummy cat so adopters might have to wait for 2-3 weeks before they can be weaned off mummy. Of course, if you take the whole family, you'll be able to take them straight away!

Metaphor

I love watching House M.D. - yes I know it is only acting and the actors barely understand what came out of their mouths but since I already (sometimes) exhibit House's attitude towards (some) patients, I figure I should at least posess a portion of his diagnotic skills.

When House analyses his cases, one of his trademarks is his metaphors. Which is a brilliant idea, because not only it gives House his character, it also makes all the medical mumbo jumbo comprehensible to the audience. Genius, right?

But anyway, I'm not here to write about House - I've just spent the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, turning my Kenari back into a car (it was a garbage dump disguised as a car previously) and attempted to get my Ciki checked by the vet assistant (she developed a swelling at the suture site - which I hope is only a seroma and not an abscess or a hernia) but the vet was closed (probably on account of the 'Pertandingan Kucing' that just went on the day before). Plus, four of my youngest furkids have developed a cold - poor Che'We was sneezing and coughing and tossing and turning about to make himself comfortable - and I can only get my animal decongestants tomorrow!

My 13th warrior has been named Che'Ruru or just Ruru. Her eyes are slightly better but I think Ruru was the one who spread all the germs around. She's still having some residual upper eyelid swelling and pus discharge but I think she will survive by how she has been jumping all over and under the place.

Shall I write about the recent petrol price increase like everyone has, I wonder? It's been 4 days now but people are still talking about it. When they are not associating you-know-who's name with various profanities, they are lamenting about how difficult life will be now when they could barely make ends meet before.

I just want to share a metaphor I read somewhere which describes simply what the govt means by subsidy.

A father catches a fish in the river behind his house. He then cooks the fish and serves it for his son to eat.

Just as son is about to tuck in, father asks for RM10 as a payment for the meal.

Son asks - Why should I pay you RM10 when it costs you nothing or almost nothing to catch it and cook it?

Father says - Because if you were to buy this fish outside, it would cost you RM15. So I am doing you a favour by only asking for RM10!

So, 'father' in this story is the government, 'son' is the rakyat and I hope you get the point of the story. Perhaps I am sounding naive but isn't it laughable that the PM talks about the so called subsidy like he is doing us a favour?!

You are cordially invited...

Yes, I think I AM turning into crazy ol' cat lady.....so crazy am I that I have started a blog on my cats.

So, pop your head over once in a while if you have the time.