How ironic it is, I was thinking this morning while I was having toast in the OT's pantry, that the brand name of the sweet prune 'asam' sitting on the microwave was EGO.
Because that was what I was called by a patient's relative in a heated discussion that ended up with me slamming the ward's door.
In fact, I slammed it with such rage that my colleague had difficulty opening the door when he was called to resuscitate a patient.
Sometimes I think I'm such a hypocrite. One moment I am a supporter of confrontation and laying it all out, yet sometimes when faced with such situation, all rationale goes out the window and I blame everything under the sun but the person I see in the mirror.
What I decided to do later that night was an easy decision to make, because I knew it was the right thing but in all honest truth, was one of the hardest thing I had to do. Even as I approached the patient's bed and reached out to tap her on her shoulder, I was in half a mind to turn away and run.
But I am glad I didn't because that would've made me a coward, one who zings people yet can't take the truth when it hit her on her face and I didn't want to be that person. My parents did not raise me to be that person and I would've woken up this morning ashamed of myself.
Yes it was painful and I was humbled - perhaps he was right, that I am an egotistical human.
No comments:
Post a Comment