Lately, everyone seems to be having babies.
Sis got her number 2 - a nephew I am yet to see. They just named him yesterday, Wan Nazmi Hariz. It's supposed to have a meaning but I didn't ask. Wan Nadiah Hannah (niece number 1) seems pretty excited on the arrival of her baby brother. Unlike her mummy who cried and came down with a fever when sis Yanti was born...hahaha.
My FIL's neighbour's son, who got married about three months after I married Abang, also gave birth recently. Their first child, Natasha Aishah, is a frequent visitor during weekends. Abang's nieces just love her (when she's not crying, of course). They got a second daughter, Alia Nabila about a month ago.
Abang's friend who got married about 6 months after we did, also apparently just received their second bundle of joy.
and why am I telling you all this? Ho hum....I'm not sure really.
Lately, I feel as if I've got multiple personality disorder...if that's what you call it. On one hand I'm so eager for details of my nephew - everyday I'm texting my sisters asking this and that. Is the baby ok? Have the parents named him yet? Is he feeding well? All the things a good auntie should ask.
Yet.....every sliver of information I get, seems to tear at my heartstrings. Yet another reminder that all the feelings that sis Yanie is experiencing right now is still an alien thing to me. Regardless of how happy I am for her, I can never comprehend what joy it is motherhood can be. Abang has caught me crying - to him, for no particular reason, and I can't seem to bring myself to say all these thoughts out loud. Maybe saying it will only make it more hurtful...and sometimes I don't think I can stand it anymore.
Abang would always tease me that no matter how bad a situation is, I would always find something 'nasib baik' about it. For instance, if I saw someone by the roadside with a flat tire, I'd say "Nasib baik hari siang and tak hujan." "Nasib baik aje..." he would tease me.
Somehow, I can't seem to find any 'nasib baik's in this matter.....
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