I wish I wish...

I wish I had a magic wand that could fulfill all my wants without limitations.

As I go through my simple life, I see so many wrongdoings and faults around me that if I spend my time thinking about it, seriously, I would get so depressed and lose my appetite (buleh ker....hehehe).

But occasionally, these so called 'wrongdoings' may sometimes be perceived as human nature, or behaviour and I don't want to come across as being judgemental.

I have so many opinions in me, yet I fear from speaking out because I realise how 'jahil' I am and I don't want to speak out of ignorance.

Tapi, if you are faced with an aged mother who goes around carrying her disabled child, who tells you that she has gone twice to a local KK but been asked to leave as the doctor is too busy to write her a short letter on her child's condition so that she could apply for financial help, and then travels 30 kms to the district hospital in hope of getting someone to help her....what would go through your mind?

What do you tell her when you wish you could help her and write her that letter yet there are 50 patients waiting to be seen and they have been waiting since the clinic opened and that was 3 hours ago?

I want to be angry but to whom do I direct my anger? To the M&HO at the KK who was probably unaware of her in the first place? or to the KK staff who could spare time to help some bigshot see the M&HO regardless of how many patients there are waiting yet could not spare one minute to assist this helpless nobody? Am I angry to the government who seems to ignore the plights of the poor - the gap between the rich and the poor seems so far away nowadays. Am I angry for my fellow doctors who choose to work overseas therefore contributing towards the lack of medical officers here? I am outraged, I want to blame everyone yet in reality there isn't really anyone to blame.

While I was in charge of the Paeds ward a few years back, I had a case of a child with CP (cerebral palsy). She was 9 I think, I can't remember. Her parents are in KL, from what I gathered, working in 'kilangs' and they have left this child to the grandmother. and this grandmother, a frail makcik, weighing probably at about 40 kilos, actually CARRIES her grandchild to appointments and physio and god knows what else at home. Even when they are waiting in the waiting area, she was carrying her. Her muscles are too limp and she can't even sit stright in a wheelchair. and how long are waiting times in a typical govt hospital?

Makcik tells me she travels 40 kms everytime her grandchild has a specialist's appointment, with a 'kereta sewa' that sometimes comes to rm20 one way. and Pakcik is suffering from stroke at home, mostly bed bound. So tell me, who do I get angry with? Especially when it is this Makcik who suffers through her hardships.

I try to help once in a while but there is only so much I can do as one person.

I wish I wish.....

p/s: Do you know what 'kuaci's (sunflower seeds) are called in the Kelantan dialect? I learnt this from my niece Asilah Husna not long ago and I thought aptly described what they are.

Butir ralik.

Ralik means leka, as if in a trance. and do observe people who enjoy eating kuacis. Note their almost trance like action of putting one seed after another into the mouth, extracting its crunchy insides.

Interesting isn't it...? :)