Small talk

I'm never very good at small talk.

Whenever I am in a situation where I am faced with spending some time with a stranger, I am more than happy to sit in silence and think about other stuff than making small talk. Perhaps other people are uncomfortable being in complete silence. Perhaps they find the lack of conversation unnerving, that they'd rather talk about mundane stuff that they will definitely forget in the next moment, rather than sit quietly.

Have you noticed the topics that often crop up during small talks? What do you do, where are you from, what does your husband do, how many children do you have...yadayadayada. Wouldn't it be interesting if, for instance, while waiting for a taxi, that the complete stranger says to you, Do you prefer KFC or McDonalds? Wouldn't THAT be a great conversation opener?

A few weeks ago I was in this situation. I was heading to KK for my conference and was in the plane with another MO whom I know by name only. He joined HRPZ's Ortho Department after I had left. He ended up sitting next to me. I smiled politely as I introduced myself and acknowledged him. Anyway, we were sitting at the airport waiting for our transport to take us to the hotel when he started asking me things about myself. I answered politely, with just enough information without being too chatty. I tend to do that when I am nervous, then you will find me yapping about my cats and how expensive litter is.

When people ask me how many kids I have and I answer none, I noticed that almost all will follow that answer with, "How long have you been married?". Why is that, I wonder? Maybe if my answer was "Oh, just recently", they will feel relieved that they had broached a potentially sensitive matter?

One other guy whom I was talking with while waiting for a court case came up with an unconventional response to my answer. He said, "Oh, don't worry. I only have one and have absolutely NO intention of having more!"

Anyway, I digress. After he asked me that and I gave my answer, I found myself adding, which sounded more like an afterthought, "I had a miscarriage last year" - and I am wondering now why at that time I felt compelled to explain my situation by divulging an information as personal as that.