I just couldn't go to work today. I woke up so depressed and then in turn made Abg depressed. I seriously had chest pains thinking about turning up for work today. I know what I'm doing is bad. Keji ya amat. But I just could not do it. I know if I did, I'd be grumpy to my patients and end up not feeling too good about myself.
I haven't felt good about myself in a long time.
First, I thought moving back into a hospital environment would help. It did, for a while. But my ugly dragon reared its head again and started to cause misery for the people around me. I have lost interest in life, in my home - no longer indulging in my hobbies. Anhedonia, I think is what it's called. I'm sleeping more yet the more I sleep, the more tired I get. I've even started to lose my appetite, and THAT is not good. Food tastes crap (but then that's because I'm cooking, kot) and tears are incessantly welling up.
*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
Where is a silver lining when I need one...?
1 comment:
they said there is always silver lining...if only they told us where to find one!
semoga dapat jumpa the silver lining.
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