Sweet as honey

I lepak at cari.com.my's forum quite a lot. The gossip board is first class for stinging hot-fresh from the oven juicylicious scandals and what nots. Remember the 'pengacara berbikini' story in Pancaindera a month back? I saw the pic (sans blurred face) and others, more than a month before that. The joke is that whenever the gossip writer states 'dari kawan' or 'sumber-sumber yang dipercayai', she/he most likely had gotten it off forum cari.com.my.

But anyhow, I digress, as usual. The other boards that I frequent are Family Discussion, Sewing and Knitting, Movies and TV etc etc. So, in Family Discussion (FD), one of the moderators brought this topic up; Madu or single mother/janda? and of course a barrage of responses came in. Some say, if the husband makes a real effort to be just to both (or more) wives, better become 'madu' than left to fend for ownself. Tapi, kalau husband and furthermore, younger wife ntah apa2 and only contribute towards the hair loss on your head, then, cerai lebih baik la.

Some only-wife and recently married forumers state that they can't see themselves sharing their husband....so, dari 'menderita', lebih baik bercerai. Some forumers are divorcees and I particularly like one who said after being divorced, she felt like a leper. Gone are all her female friends, who now think that all she wants to do now that she is a janda, is to ensnare all things male into her trap.

I don't know that many polygamous couples. Most are Abg's friends. I had a specialist once, whose husband is someone Abg knew from work and she's a 'bini tua', though I don't know why because my specialist is one of the nicest, lemah-lembutest person and not to forget, so lawa.

I'm not sure what my stand is, though. I find that I might have an opinion in the beginning, but it usually changes when I am faced with the situation. I know accepting that Abg might fall in love with someone else will be difficult. I can't stand imagining that he will fall asleep with someone else in his arms, or that someone else will cook and enjoy seeing him finish off the food.

Three years into marriage life, I admit things have become somewhat monotonous. Not having our own home is somewhat making it worse. Not having kids might have something to do with it too. Lately Abg has been having some minor changes in his day-to-day activities and maybe I'm paranoid; but it makes me jumpy. Sometimes, as we lay in bed, I look up to him and the insecurities come close to being blurted out but I don't want him to feel as if I don't trust him. But at least I know by feeling this way that I'm not taking my marriage for granted.

Maybe it's time for that second honeymoon....