Budak-budak PLKN

Among my many job description/requirement is to perform check ups of PLKN students. Anyway, the second batch of 2006 registered on the 19th baru-baru nie. As usual, in the first two weeks, mmg ramai lah budak-budak trainee yang merengek-rengek nak balik.

S, the paramedic staff at the Agro Resort, brought me a few amusing cases this week.

Case 1
Doctor Bekeng ( me lah..): Ok, kalau dah tahu mengandung kenapa tak mintak pelepasan sebelum datang ke kem?
Trainee: Er er, saya dah ckp kat doktor tu tapi dia tak check pun.
Doctor: Bila last period awak?
Trainee: Err hujung bulan 12 atau bulan satu.
Doctor: Bila awak check air kencing untuk mengandung?
Trainee: Seminggu sebelum datang kem cikgu, eh, doktor!
(Dalam garang2, nak tergelak la pulak)
Trainee: Doktor jangan la garang-garang, takut saya...
Doctor: Eh, nie tak garang lagi nie.

On examination, the symphisis-fundal height (SFH) measured 30cm meaning the pregnancy had advanced about 30 weeks. So, the LMP definitely does not tally.

Doctor: Awak nie betul ke mari kotor last bulan satu nie? Awak jgn tipu saya..?!
Trainee: Betul doktor! (muka takut-takut already)
Doctor: Awak kahwin bulan berapa?
Trainee: Bulan lima.
Doctor: Suami kerja apa?
Trainee: Polis.
Doctor: Macamana la awak tak perasan perut awak makin besar?
Trainee: Tak perasan, betul. Saya memang gemuk, doktor.
(She's not fat at all! Pening, pening...)

I did a scan, and told her she will probably deliver end of May or early June. Advised her to return home and book immediately.

Trainee: Mesti saya kena marah ngan misi, kan? Misi tu mesti tua dan garang.
Doctor: Awak jugak yang carik hal. Gerenti la awak kena bebel, lambat sgt bukak buku mengandung.
Trainee: Saya kena balik esok jugak ke doktor? Minggu depan tak boleh?
Doctor: La, balik la cepat-cepat. Kalau awak terberanak kat kem...?
Trainee: Mampos...
Doctor: (Dlm hati, no komennnn)

Case 2
Doctor: Dah berapa lama awak ada ketulan di buah dada?
Trainee: Lama dah. Saya dah buat FNAC di Hospital Besar K****.
Doctor: Habis tu? Dah dapat keputusan?
Trainee: Sudah doktor, dia kata ketumbuhan saya tu 80% boleh jadi kanser.
Doctor: Lepas tu? Bila temujanji yang seterusnya?
Trainee: Bulan lapan.

I gathered there was no urgency if a TCA was given 5 months after the FNAC result, hence the findings of the investigation was probably not as severe as this kid was making it out to be.

Doctor: Okay, kalau result macam tu, kenapa awak tak mintak pelepasan dari doktor awak?
Trainee: Saya dah mintak, tapi dia tanya saya balik, PLKN tu apa??
Doctor: (Whaaa...?? Pening kuasa dua..)