Where art thou...

I've always prided myself in being able to see the goodness in things. Regardless of how bad things are, there HAS to be something nice that makes it, not so bad afterall.

Contoh, while I was houseman in Kota Bharu Hospital (now Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II); I'd graduated from an overseas uni about three months prior and I had absolutely NO IDEA how the local system works. No idea how the wards are managed, how ward rounds are done, etc etc. Lo and behold, the head of medicine takes me by the scruff of my neck and throws me at the deep end of the pool. I was posted in ward 4 (medical male), THE busiest ward in the hospital. Tapi at that time still hepi-hepi lagi (naive betul!), actually excited about starting work! As I arrived at the ward, there were fold up beds lining the floor from the counter right to the door! There was barely space to walk. I met the other houseofficer there, Rose, who looked as if she had been in since 5 am - all flustered carrying a basket of investigation forms, taking one blood sample after another like she is the mother lode of dracula.

When the MOs arrived, Dr Noraidah and Dr Zul, it was time for rounds. Memang habis kena belasah lah! Imagine, three months of doing nothing has made my brain non functioning. In addition to that, about half had denggi fever whom I barely heard of while studying in Belfast. I confess, Dr Zul must have thought me the stupidest HO ever to grace his presence. Tu belum citer part kena sindir lagi! :)

On calls in the medical department was pure hell. I guess this is a similar scenario in all hospitals. I remember not sleeping, not eating; I actually lost 10 kilos in the first two weeks! But as I got the hang of it, things got slightly easier, but only slightly though.

Yes, it was tough and I remember thinking I was so tired all the time post call that I only had energy to bathe and sleep. But never once had it crossed my mind to give up or go AWOL and leave my colleagues in a lurch. Despite lashings by specialists (your own or from other departments), i could always count on having fellow HOs that could lament each other's 'nasib' - why oh why la did we do medicine and become doctors! :)

but anyway, today i've gotten almost so sick of work that my silver lining has eluded me. I don't mind having even a hundred patients. I don't mind turning up at 8 for work (while my MAs come in at 8.30am) and most of the time only stopping for lunch at 1.30 or later. but i DO mind when people choose to be so intolerant and so irresponsible that it interferes with my work! Do they feel that they are above the law/rules that they blatantly break them? One of these days I'm just going to go beserk and issue everyone with 'surat tunjuk sebab's.

Maybe it's time to dig out that transfer form and request to go back to a hospital. Give me on calls anytime, man....I'd rather miss meals than deal with conflicting personalities...