I am oncall today. The wind is howling relentlessly outside the window. I can hear the raindrops spattering against the glass.
I think about the baby lying in the infant resuscitation room in the labour room downstairs and I begin to weep quietly inside as I have wept openly just now.
I wonder how the parents are doing. I am sure devastation is an understatement. To have waited for 9 months only to have your hopes and dreams shattered in an instant; I cannot even begin to imagine.
I wonder if the infant is feeling pain as he struggles for each breath, increasingly exhausted with every hour that passes.
People perceive doctors as life-savers, miracle-workers even, but the honest truth is we are just God's helpers and at times we are forced to make painful, life-changing decisions such as the one I just did on the little one downstairs whose heart is beating forcefully outside his chest.
The truth is we are just pawns in Mother Nature's game of life, and sometimes she can be a little bit cruel.
3 comments:
"heart is beating forcefully outside his chest"???
why? baby sakit apa?? is he improving by now??
RKM,
Lil baby was born with multiple congenital defects - apart from the heart sitting outside, he also had part of his brain outside his scalp, cleft lip and palate and other deformities.
The baby has passed away this morning (28/10/08). I hope he didn't feel any pain.
whatever pain he felt (if he did) were just temporary. i'm sure he has forgotten it all by now.. Allah swt has definitely reserved a good place for him, insya Allah..
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