Me time now

I don't worry very much.

Unless when I am about to be oncall, then I worry whether there will be cases which I cannot handle, or I worry if my temper is going to be too short or whether a patient is going to die because of my mistake.

But, apart from that, I don't worry very much.

Which is perhaps why I am in this situation right now.

Maybe doctors mislead themselves that they are invincible; just because they are in the health business, then by logic, that they are healthy.

I know I am not. I could do with more exercise, for one thing and less junkfood postcall (it is always postcall, like a mini party for one for me everytime).

When I had my miscarriage last year, the O&G consultant who managed my case noted that there is a small mass near my uterus. He had told me to come again for a repeat scan but of course lah, I was too busy, had other obligations, can always get another date bla bla.

I tried late last year but my specialist had an emergency operation he had to attend and I told myself I would reschedule.

and I can hear my family members whom I know are reading this, saying, why don't you just see the specialist at the hospital where you're working? No need to set appointment what? Yes yes, I know I don't actually have a good excuse.

But anyway, me thinks me must get a specialist's opinion soon. I've been having this lower abdomen discomfort for the past couple of months. On top of that, for the past fortnight, I've been having this really bad lower back pain. Last night, I could barely get myself into the car. Fortunately I had some ketoprofen patch, which at least guaranteed me a continuous night's sleep, otherwise I'd be woken up in the middle of the night due to the pain.

So, I've told myself that I will get xrays done next week at least and arrange for an ultrasound scan soon.

It's time for some me time now.