How time flies....

SHAKEEL







AYES














HANNAH










No wonder I feel so old.

Pet peeve

Noted during patient registration at casualty while on call last night:

DAFFYEENA AMMALIEYN AIESYYA

Why why why??????

I'm going to start a campaign against the wastage of vowels in kids' names soon.

Things that were left unsaid

To my sister who got married a few weeks ago, Selamat Pengantin Baru. I am writing here the words that were left unspoken in all the chaos that was your wedding. You know how it is; no matter how prepared our mother is, she will always find something to do at the very last minute and end up being very very hassled.

I love you Ma, but you are what you are and those are the things that makes you, you and we love you nevertheless.

I am jotting down here little things that I wanted to say but ended up being masked behind silly remarks while clowning around. Things that you may want to take to heart or maybe not; it doesn't really matter for these are things that you may go through yourself but I think I should mention because I am your big sister after all.

I will not go as far as calling them words of wisdom, for I know, with only 5 years of marriage, wisdom is far from what I have.

Enjoy your married life. Enjoy the companionship, the love and laughter that will definitely adorn your lives from now onwards. I hope the man you married is not just your lover but also your best friend; someone who will not judge you for making a harmless remark on someone who was mean to you but who will accept it as a part of the person you are.

I hope he will share your happiness and also your sorrow, who will hold your hand until the pain has passed.

Have at hand bucketfuls of love and affection, tonnes of sense of humour and unlimited patience - there will come a day when you will have your first big argument and I hope during these times that you do not ponder on all the things that are bad but to concentrate on the things that are good. Having had a few big arguments ourselves, I know that that is easier said than done but try anyway.

Take time to enjoy each other - to celebrate all that you have in common and to appreciate those that you don't. Have respect for each other's opinion, no matter how radically different it can be. Afterall, someone who agrees with you all the time can be pretty boring after a few months.

Always find time to make each other feel special, no matter how hectic life can be. The gestures doesn't have to be grand or OTT but small things can make a difference; like remembering his favourite kuih or making his favourite drink even when he doesn't ask for it.

Being a wife means that sometimes you have to bite your tongue - in an argument, refrain from saying things that you may regret later, no matter how much satisfaction you think you might get from 'letting it all out' - you can never take it back, and the harm would have been done.

I wish I could say that 'happily ever after' starts now but you and I both know that the fairy tale concept doesn't exist in real life. But I've always believed that one needs a few glitches in their lives to truly appreciate all that is good in life. Have an awesome journey and make every moment count!

Love,
Akak

For just a moment....

I took the afternoon off work to run an errand in KB today. Had to look for a gift for our boss in conjunction with his new bundle of joy.

Initially I was just browsing around, hoping for something to catch my eye. You always want to give someone something that they would find useful, so I always end up buying something that I would buy for myself. Anyway, as I was looking at the tiny shoes and mittens and caps, I suddenly found myself welling up.

There is a pair of tiny mittens and a cap tucked away at the back of my closet. They have been there since about a year ago. Also hidden away is a pregnancy book and a book of names.

For just a moment I let myself cry silently for something that wasn't meant to be.

Bad taste in the mouth

I had a fantastic thought earlier today, surprisingly while scrubbing up for an operation, but NOT surprisingly, have totally forgotten about it now. Must seriously consider idea of hanging a notebook on my neck.

I was oncall last night. Not a drop of rain and in comes four motor vehicle accidents. One was totally unconscious, smelt of vomitus and had bits of kuey tiau, bean sprouts and cabbages hanging off his dark green sweater and it was the first time I saw my colleague sweat (WKY, it's because you are usually the epitome of coolness!).

But anyway, I am feeling bad right now.

It was 7pm and I was still in OT. Felt like I was a houseman all over again. Suddenly my mobile rang, and the OT phone rang. A staff nurse was asking me whether I wanted to do the discharge.

DISCHARGE? At 7 pm? Are you seriously serious or seriously out of your mind?

Firstly, I hate it when the staff take it for granted that I will answer all calls from the hospital, regardless of time and day. Last weekend, I was in IKEA and a staff nurse called to ask me about removing the stitches on the leg of a patient. Hello? Patient mati ke kalau tak buat STO tu??

I make it a habit not to accept phone calls from the hospital outside office hours unless when I am oncall, but it is still disturbing to know they called because, y'know, what if it was something urgent? Heck, that's what oncall people are for!

and the thing I am totally pissed off about is, that THEY actually make me feel bad about telling them off about calling me about minute matters like that.

Secondly, at about half two just now, as they were changing shifts and exchanging reports, I had called EVERY ward and went through all my patients and asked if there were things that needed to be done, i.e. xrays to see, discharges to do etc etc. So, tell me, if I shouldn't be mad if you call me at 7pm to ask me to do a discharge (which wasn't planned for that day anyway!). You had passed over at half two and you couldn't have called me over the next two hours to confirm if that patient was indeed for discharge.

Aargh! Seriously lah!

and don't even get me started on how gobsmacked I was the other day when a STAFF NURSE didn't know how to do chest compressions!

Nonsensical ramblings

I have this strange habit - well, I wouldn't call it a habit but more of an observation - of thinking that medical officers can tell what their calling in professional life is by looking at the type of cases that come when they are on call.

For instance, I noticed that when the senior Peads MO is oncall, somehow it is on that night that kids usually come to our casualty.

Last weekend I was on call and I noted that there were mainly surgical based cases that turned up that day as my partner is the current Surgical MO.

Now, what deduction should I make when I'm on call, and no cases turn up?


P/S: The above statement is by no means me "bercakap besar" - after all I still have one on call left this month.

Boo....

...for the blocking of blogs on the hospital internet.

I mean, at nights when you are on casualty call, and you are just sitting there waiting for the results to come back, at least that gives us something to do. Besides, I write best in the middle of the night when the patients are just thinning and sleep eludes me.

Anywho, last night's call was one of those weird ones. It was practically patient-less from about 5 to about half ten. Yes, it must be one of those blue moon nights. My partner, however, wasn't so lucky. She was riding on the ambulance escorting an ICB case and only came back at about ten, only to be woken up at about 2 to escort another case. But of course, TM being the place it is, patients started to come after midnight. For a three day fever, can you believe it? Have some mercy people?!

It is a shame when the public misuses the casualty department like this. They have learnt that staff at district hospitals will call you ASAP when you turn up after midnight as they want to settle all cases as quickly as possible. It doesn't help that TM has an abundance of a night life for all the nocturnals. Hmm.

Anyway, I was woken up at half twelve for a case of assault and an MVA where a boy cracked his forehead open. The skull was exposed and I swear I can feel a crack yet the CT scan came back normal i.e. no evidence of a skull fracture. Good news for the kid but kinda embrassing for me. However, my partner that night examined the wound and totally agreed with my assessment.

I will be oncall again tomorrow and hope I won't be as unlucky as my partner.

My parents must be pretty happy right now as all three grandkids are back. Apparently my niece has become a minah salleh (Hi Hannah!) and Ayes is still being Ayes. They are expecting their fourth grandkid any moment now. Seems like kids are popping everywhere. Sigh.

There are times during the year when work starts to bore me. Perhaps I am one of those people who get excited about something for a short while and then grow out of the phase. Kinda risky when it involves work what with an apartment in KL to pay for. Maybe what I need is to get out of Kelantan. There are times when I wonder how I ended up in a life that is so vastly different from what I am used to. I've been informed that my family members wonder about this on a regular basis.

I had a conversation with a colleague not long ago. Among others it centred on our lives and how not having kids affected it. I've long discovered that I no longer care if we have kids or not. I look at other people's offsprings and I am relieved that people won't be able to judge me based on how my kids look like and how they behave. We're already being judged on the job we hold, the car we drive and the number of jewellery we own - life doesn't need to be so complicated.

I also decided that I will make a lousy parent. I can't even get my cats to respond to their names. They all come running on "tsk tsk tsk" so I might as well have called them all "tsk tsk tsk"- hahaha. Jokes aside, should it is fated that we remain childless, I am content. I believe that my marriage is strong enough to withstand this and I consider myself lucky as not many married couples can say the same thing with the same amount of conviction as I have.

Fuming mad post...

I received news of this last night but was down with fever so only managed to write this down now. My youngest baby brother is doing his pre U course in UM. Yesterday, in one of his chemistry practical class, a friend accidentally knocked a test tube filled with undiluted chemical and it spattered on his back.

Do you know what the stupid teacher in the class did? He dabbed on it and said it would be ok. OK????? My brother now has a gaping hole in the skin of his back, what do you say to that? I thought the first things you learnt when you enter a lab is basic first aid? Whatever happened to letting the skin sit under running water you idiot?! and you don't even have the decency to send your student to the health centre. Idiot.

and at the Health Centre, another idiot nurse let my brother sit for an hour unattended without any further treatment while the chemical was practically burning a hole in his back!

However, kudos and thank you to this Burmese medical officer who saw the urgency of my brother's case and actually sent my brother to UMMC.

So much for being the top Uni in Malaysia. I suppose this is where we are when we only run like headless chickens to get everything in order only when the Accreditation Survey is going to be held.

I heart Singapore!

The number of hours my KBR-KUL flight was delayed - 5

The amount of time I said "I heart Singapore!" while I was there - many!

The number of steps we took travelling up and down escalators and buses and walking - gazillions.




The number of times we went to VivoCity but did not go to Sentosa but instead went to Candy Empire - 2

The number of times we saw a Mat Salleh and his SPG nearly getting into a physical fight with a scrawny chinese guy with very frightened girlfriend - 1

The number of keychains I bought at Bugis Street - 30

The number of fridge magnets I bought - 5

The number of wallets I had planned to buy - 1
The number of wallets I ended up buying - 0

The number of handbag I planned to buy - 0
The number of handbag I ended up buying - 1

The amount of bruised knee I got as a result of stumbling off the ramp in front of the Singapore Science Centre - 1



The number of people Abg said saw me fall - 0
The real number of people who saw me fall - probably EVERYONE there!



The whole Singaporean experience - priceless.

It's nice to be home......

...but Singapore was fantastic!

There were all these 'signs' that I kept coming across, as if telling me that I shouldn't be going on the trip, but I am glad I did.

There was the 5 hour plus delay on our flight back to Kuala Lumpur where we ended up arriving at Ma's house at nearly 2 am, but otherwise the rest of the trip was smooth sailing.

However, is it me, or is this guy wearing OT trousers?

Things to do when you are post call...

....is scrape half the length of your already battered Kenari against a moronic lorry whose driver couldn't be bothered to find a better space, hence blocking half the road.

A******.

.....and then go home irritated because of the above incident and snap at your other half.

Sigh.

Of working till dusk and wrinkly clothes

Yesterday I spent 12 hours at the hospital. Working.

I left home at half six, arrived at work and punched in at about 7 and only punched out at 7 that evening.

It's been three days in a row when I have driven home in my OT clothes, simply because after finishing our cases, I just couldn't be bothered to change back into my work clothes. I now have a feet high heap of OT clothes on the floor of my bedroom.

Don't get me wrong, I love being in the OT. There's just something about the sensation of the suture needle piercing the skin and seeing your knot opposing the wound that just relaxes me. I love the crisp feel of the scrub and the quiet sigh of the sterile cloth that we drape on the patients. I'm weird, I know. I blame it on my star sign; I'm an Aquarian and we're supposed to be weird.

But, my household have suffered as a result of me coming home late everyday. Two basketful of clothes are waiting to be ironed and hung. Don't even get me started on my bathroom floor! Tsk. I can't even imagine people with kids coping without help. By the time I get home, usually near dusk, I'm already too exhausted and my feet are sore from standing so much while doing the cases. At least I have the liberty of not cooking dinner if I don't feel like eating and there aren't kids to bathe and feed.

So, if I am already so exhausted just working in a small district hospital with specialists, tell me how am I supposed to cope with joining a Masters programme?

and THAT is something that I will ramble on later when I have the energy to do so.

Things to do when you are sick

I am at home sick today.

Urgh.

It used to be that I get sick once a year and would last for maybe 2-3 days. Now, it's 2-3 times a year and lasts about a week. I've had this cold since Thursday, been on call with a cold, had a clinic with a cold and the lack of rest has resulted in a temperature of 38 last night.

Double urgh.

Anyway, I was feeling sorry for myself this morning and ended up watching Oprah. She was having a 'Pay It Forward' campaign where she gave everyone $1000 and urged them to give it away. So this morning's show was about what everyone did with their money.

One story had me sobbing like a kid. There's just something about seeing people do good or animals that turn me to jelly.

One member of the audience advertised in a local newspaper asking people to write in and nominate someone whom they thought deserved the money.

So one first grade teacher wrote in about Alferd (yes, his name is spelt that way), who is 68 and comes to her class. Yes, Alferd is the oldest student in her class.

Alferd is the oldest of his 9 siblings and he never went to school because he had to take care of his brothers and sisters. So, at 68, he decided that he wanted to learn to read. Now he can read first grade books.

So this teacher's letter won and they used the money to buy Alferd books so that he could read to his heart's content.

I've always thought that we tend to take things for granted. Being able to read, ride an escalator, order KFC without looking at the menu, having a colour TV - but here is a 68 year old who could have easily gone through his golden years not being able to read (he has gone through 7 decades safely without the ability) yet he took the effort to approach someone and asked to be taught.

That put my flu into perspective, somehow.

Snippets of a holiday

Welcome to Jakarta....!



View from our room in Cikini.



Bronze elephant in front of the National Museum.



The chaos that is Tanah Abang shopping area.



What Malaysians love about Tanah Abang.



Very informative cartoon on buying food in Tanah Abang market.



Set ikan gurame bakar.



MONAS - Monumen Nasional



Writings on the bust of Husni Thamrin.



What I managed to catch of Senayan City before I was told taking pictures is prohibited. Hehe. Nice mall though.

Of substance

Sometimes I wish I could write great things. Things that make people think and things that teaches people and change lives. All my blog does is serve as a platform for me to rant about my work and my mundane life.

Though I hope mine is a tad more interesting than the ones who give a complete description of what he did and what he ate bla bla. I prefer blogs which give an insight on what people are thinking and what makes him/her do whatever it is that they do.

Jaded as I am, as I trawl through this massive cyberworld, all I seem to come across are mindless youths, whom, when asked about a memorable quote from a film, would volunteer "You've got to move it, move it" from Madagascar. Maybe it is the generation gap, but come on....!

I stumbled upon this blog after someone in the forum pasted his article on "Why do we get married?".

Below is an extract:

Satu soalan paling kontroversi: Kenapa kita perlu berkahwin?

Jawapannya: Untuk memenuhi fitrah manusia yang mahukan seks. Ini hakikat. Sigmund Freud mengatakan ini dalam istilah saintifik dipanggil sebagai 'libido', iaitu kemahuan paling dalam dan tersembunyi dalam diri manusia yang dipanggil 'id'. Pemikiran manusia secara dasarnya dibahagi kepada tiga: id,ego dan super-ego.

Id adalah kehendak yang paling asas seperti makan, minum, pergi jumpa Encik Tan untuk pelaburan*(ini ke tandas), dan seks juga tidak terkecuali. Seks adalah satu aktiviti pembiakan kalau dalam bahasa saintifik, untuk terus mengekalkan speisis untuk terus berkembang. Dalam kes kita, homo-sapiens.

Ego adalah peraturan yang kita sendiri cipta untuk mengawal kemahuan id kita. Ini seperti prinsip hidup dan kepercayaan diri sendiri. Manakala super-ego adalah undang-undang yang dicipta oleh negara atau agama atau adat untuk mengawal kemahuan id kita.

Jadi dalam kes seks, itu adalah id kita, dan super-ego (agama) melarang kita melakukan seks kecuali apabila berkahwin. Manakala ego kita pula ialah kita malu kalau masyarakat tahu yang kita lakukan seks sebelum kahwin.

Bearing in mind what I usually come across, here is a malay male youth, freshly graduated who has actually read Freud!

So I spent a few hours reading his entries. At one glance people might brush him off as an angry rebellious young thing who has decided to blame everyone and everything around him but read a little deeper and you will discover an intelligent, well read and most importantly passionate person. and what passion he has!

He constantly states his dislike of our current education system, who seems to produce regurgitators than thinkers. Which is something I can relate to.

A few days ago, radio Era had a mini competition for parents to win an opportunity for their kids to go on air. One parent, when asked which of the following is a famous equation - E=mc(squared) and E=my, confidently gave the wrong answer. Another parent couldn't give the correct scientific formula for water.

Is it me? Am I sounding a teensy bit snobbish because 'of course la you cannot expect to remember something you learn in school ten years ago' or 'of course la you think it's easy, you did science in high school' but - seriously?

Maybe what is really worrying me is that, these same parents could have easily told you who the last winner of One in A Million or Akademi Fantasia. Whose home is filled with Media Hiburan, URTV and Mangga.

I digress.

To me, he is an example of what a well rounded Malaysian youth should be. Sure, he has radical opinions, but most importantly, he actually has one! In a world where we are surrounded by 'Tidak apa' attitude, here is a young man who is passionate in what he believes in.

and reading his blog showed me that there are more like him and it gives me hope.

Is it me or....

Is it me, or do other people think the following is weird, not to mention inappropriate?

A man, having a conversation with an unrelated female, whom is not his wife and saying, "I wonder what you look like pregnant?"

or is it just me?

Restlessness

Why is it that I always come up with interesting things to say/write about when I am away from the computer yet when I am sitting here, it never appears? Maybe I should hang a pen and notepad from my neck so that I can jot it down each time a brilliant idea comes about.

It is of course, on call day and it has been pretty quiet. My partner has warned me to keep my 'mulut celupar' shut...hehe. I've also been called a worry wort, which I admit to being one. I can't help worrying about the most severe, and unmanageable cases which don't exist....if that sentence makes any sense.


I think there is something wrong with me.

Seriously.

Lately I've been finding things to occupy myself. Before my trip to Java, I had occupied myself with researching about the place. I spent hours and hours on the internet reading up on other travellers' experience and which places to go and which to avoid. I think I was researching too well that I was beginning to neglect Abg.

and I thought my restlessness would subside after having that trip. Nope, I was wrong. After a trip to KK and a week later, I was fidgeting once more. I wanted something to think about, a project I could keep myself busy with. Though I may appear sedate and calm on the outside, my mind is racing here and there and everywhere.

One moment last week I was determined to get a Nintendo Wii. I am not sure how that evolved into another trip overseas. I am like a bee that was buzzing all over the place and now have settled on a flower - for the time being, that is.

Abg is keeping his opinions to himself. I think he has learnt from the past that his wife does not like when people disagree with her. But I think sooner or later, Abg should put his feet down and say enough is enough. Sometimes I think my husband spoils me and I don't think that that is a good thing. What is weird though, is that even though I know it isn't a good thing, I would still make him go my way and he does. Surely there is a limit to his manoeuvrability.

Small talk

I'm never very good at small talk.

Whenever I am in a situation where I am faced with spending some time with a stranger, I am more than happy to sit in silence and think about other stuff than making small talk. Perhaps other people are uncomfortable being in complete silence. Perhaps they find the lack of conversation unnerving, that they'd rather talk about mundane stuff that they will definitely forget in the next moment, rather than sit quietly.

Have you noticed the topics that often crop up during small talks? What do you do, where are you from, what does your husband do, how many children do you have...yadayadayada. Wouldn't it be interesting if, for instance, while waiting for a taxi, that the complete stranger says to you, Do you prefer KFC or McDonalds? Wouldn't THAT be a great conversation opener?

A few weeks ago I was in this situation. I was heading to KK for my conference and was in the plane with another MO whom I know by name only. He joined HRPZ's Ortho Department after I had left. He ended up sitting next to me. I smiled politely as I introduced myself and acknowledged him. Anyway, we were sitting at the airport waiting for our transport to take us to the hotel when he started asking me things about myself. I answered politely, with just enough information without being too chatty. I tend to do that when I am nervous, then you will find me yapping about my cats and how expensive litter is.

When people ask me how many kids I have and I answer none, I noticed that almost all will follow that answer with, "How long have you been married?". Why is that, I wonder? Maybe if my answer was "Oh, just recently", they will feel relieved that they had broached a potentially sensitive matter?

One other guy whom I was talking with while waiting for a court case came up with an unconventional response to my answer. He said, "Oh, don't worry. I only have one and have absolutely NO intention of having more!"

Anyway, I digress. After he asked me that and I gave my answer, I found myself adding, which sounded more like an afterthought, "I had a miscarriage last year" - and I am wondering now why at that time I felt compelled to explain my situation by divulging an information as personal as that.

My Superwoman

My Ma is the 'garang' type. I would jokingly tell bro Wan how lucky he is that Ma has mellowed down so much over the years.

There is not a month that passed that we didn't have markings of beatings on our legs. I totally understand her, we were a bunch of (sometimes) naughty kids and she was working till she had Yaya so it was stressful, being a mother at that stage. Though looking back at our childhood, we were practically angels compared to kids nowadays.

Seriously.

You know how when you have people visiting and their kids would be breaking your child's toy, and jumping up and down your sofa and all their parents seem to do is sigh wistfully and say 'Budak-budak......'? Ey, if we were like that, one stare from Ma and we would be reminded of what was in store for us once we got home. Ma did mention though that we were very well mannered when we were visiting other people, never needed prodding to behave; we always knew what was proper and what was not.

Anyway, you mention it, we've been beaten by it: rotans, rubber hose, hangers, rulers - so I think you can probably picture how naughty we were...hehehe.. and how 'garang' Ma was. But, regardless of how bad a beating we got, Ma would always make sure we knew why we were punished. I remember once, after a really bad spanking, I was crying on my bed examining (and actually counting! Hahaha, 'modal' for feeling sorry for oneself) the welts on my legs when Ma came into the room to apply soothing cream on them. She would be telling me what I did wrong and how badly she felt after each beating and I remember how stubbornly silent and angry I was. She would always mention that each beating hurt her more than it hurt us. It sounded ridiculous to me at that time but I'm sure every parent knows exactly what she meant.

It didn't help that I was a very stubborn child. Everytime I got punished, I would retaliate by sulking in my room and refusing to go out to eat and I could be stubborn for a very long time too.

When I was in my teens, something happened and Ma and I ended up not speaking. We were like US and Soviet during the cold war. It was as if I didn't exist in the house. Ma would not leave out any food for me nor did she wash any of my clothes. In the end, Pa was the one who could not bear the hostility and forced me to apologize. To this day, I can't recall what was the silly thing that made me act that way.

Unfortunately, as Abg would gladly admit, the hard headedness have persisted till now.

I digress - presently, I look back to my childhood with absolutely no regrets. Ma and Pa have provided us with everything we wanted and did not leave me wanting for anything. The only reason that I would have a kid, if I could, was so that he/she/they could have the childhood I did, beatings and all.

I may sound like I condone physical punishment, and in a way, I do - but in the sense that IT being only a minor part in bringing up your kid. It MUST come together with love, respect and patience. I think, most importantly, in order to be a decent human being, one must be able to differentiate between good and bad, and have a conscience. Without a conscience, one will not be able to feel bad when he/she has done something wrong, and if you don't feel remorse, what will stop you from repeating your mistakes?

There is one memory that I am sharing here, that Ma will or will not remember.

When we were younger, Ma would make us bring food from home and most of the time it'd be boring stuff like jam sandwiches. Maybe she did give us 'cool' food sometimes, but all I can remember right now are the horrible jam sandwiches. At MGS, we had a really huge canteen, selling iced water (10sen per glass only!) and ice balls to wantan mee and nasi lemak. The nasi lemak booth is right at the end and next to it is the ice cream Auntie. The best thing in the world at that time was having asam boi ice lollies on a hot day. They were only 10sen but it doesn't really matter how much they cost when your mother doesn't give you any spending money.

What I would do (Urgh, I cringe as I am recalling this, such is the idiocy of youth!) was to 'collect' any small change Pa had in his work trousers. Pa would always leave his work trousers on the bed (something he still does now) and whenever no one is looking, I would go through his pockets for coins.

I know! 'Teruk', right! Hahahaha.

and the next day, there I would be, enjoying my asam boi or kopi ice lolly.

This went on for a few weeks and one day I was just swamped with guilt. I decided enough is enough but in order for me to feel better, I just had to come clean to Ma. I can recall exactly what happened: Ma had just finished her prayers and I told her everything. At the end of it, Ma simply told me not to do it again. Was that what happened, Ma? Hahaha, but definitely did not get beaten lah.

I knew that what I did was wrong. I could have easily went on 'collecting' loose change from Pa's work trousers, right? But my parents raised me well enough that I had the ability to feel bad about what I did.

THAT was the only thing I remembered from that snippet of my childhood. Despite the way I am telling this, I am NOT blaming it on my Ma for not giving us spending money (I'm sure she did because I do remember buying nasi lemak and wantan and sarsi but my mind is so befuddled that I can't recall whether it was because Ma gave us money or was it due to my unofficial 'toll'), and I certainly DO NOT remember going through primary school with longing or feeling that I lacked something.

Whatever it is, I hope my parents are comfortable in the fact that the bottom line is, they raised a bunch of decent human beings. It's definitely a bonus if your kids are geniuses or famous or rich but surely it all starts with decency.

I often wonder if my parents have regrets about the way they raised us; I certainly have never asked them this but if she does, then I say don't because to me you surely did one hell of a job.

Happy Mother's Day.

Jumping all over topic

The best oncalls are the ones where no matter how busy you are during the day, you still get uninterrupted sleep later on the night. Even a mere three hours should be okay to get you going the rest of the day.

It was one of those days when you had a whole bunch of stable patients, but they came with weird complaints. Luckily for me, I could always clerk them in for observation. Should nothing is wrong with them in the first place, the MO in charge can always discharge them.

It's just a few minutes after 7 and already the A&E is starting to get patients. It's usually MVA patients this early. I hope that at least the patient's conscious, unlike the ex YB who yesterday was involved in a head on collision.

You can tell how important a patient is in the hierarchy of the society by the size of the crowd that is hanging about the hospital. The last time we had a VIP, a crowd the size of a small kampung (including all four wives, apparently) came to see him.

My sister is getting married this August. Weddings have become really expensive nowadays, don't you think? Maybe it's time we stepped out of the box and do away with wasteful habits such as fancy invitation cards and do a Maya Karin. You do realise that most of them end up in rubbish bins?

The other thing is the door gifts. Remember a few years back when everyone started using those pearly-multisheened ceramic egg holders? Too ugly to use to decorate but too 'sayang' to throw away? When I first got married and moved into Abg's house, I was soooo itching to get rid of them. They were just gathering dust in the old cabinet anyway.

I think a good doorgift should be useful, and if not, at least recyclable. Ma used to save every bunga telur she got whenever she went for weddings and 'cukur jambul's and 'maulud nabi's, that after a while she would have a HUGE bunch of non matching ones displayed right by the phone.

What she did was, when it was time for her to host a maulud of her own, clean up every single one and use them as doorgifts. Jimat, right? and they actually looked nice on the bunga pahar stand, despite being missmatched and all.

I think the problem with our society is that we are too scared of 'losing face' and wanting to please everyone else, BUT ourselves. Relatives are the worst. Especially when it comes to weddings. Everyone wants to give their idea on how much 'hantaran' money the bride should get, where the wedding should be held, how big the event should be and beware should you just brush off any ideas, or you would find yourself being given the cold shoulder come next family gathering.

Talking about recycling, after that three day conference in KK, I've now ended up with about 4-6 bags and a tonne of leaflets. I've decided that from now on, the bags will be coming with us on shopping trips so that we don't end up with plastic bags. The bags that they were giving away at the various booths were the cloth type, and rather sturdy too. We had a trial run at the recent pasar tani, and the bag I had easily carried 4 small papayas, three bags of onions, a bunch of long beans and a few other stuff. One makcik was really impressed when we insisted, no plastic bag please. Besides, they were more comfortable to carry and were less painful on the fingers.

Good eh? I think Ma would be proud. She's always tried to make us reuse things when we were younger, though at that time it was called being frugal rather than recycling.

Now, if only I can locate a paper recycling centre in KB......