I'm IT.....

sebab dah kena tag dah la kan....so I'm it la....

Thanks Mafeitz for tagging me....tagging nie usually means shadowing in our line of work. For instance, kalau ada budak hingusan baru masuk kerja, he or she's supposed to tag for a few days just to get a picture of what the job entails. Usually up to 8 pm la, but of course, nothing exciting happens before 8 in the job so....

Well, I digress....

I'm supposed to list 6 weird things about me...


1. I must have my books lined up according to height. and if possible, according to length as well. But height gets priority, for instance, if i get a book which is shorter than the one to the left of it, and it juts out, usually, the height wins. I'll most probably just find another shelf for it. or buy books which are roughly the same length (length, from the spine to the edges of the pages).


2. I'm a sucker for Hindi movies.

I know.....! Weird, right? It must be embedded in my subconscious or something, maybe Ma watched a lot of Hindi movies while carrying me. When I was younger, Hindi movies were something else, weren't they? Bobby, Sangam, Qurbani, Dosti Dushmani, Chandni, Amar Akbar Anthony - these were what I watched and remembered, apart from the sing-a-long Disney movies. At MRSM, I was in the TV room at 2 pm on a Friday (the boys would be out for Friday prayers and the girls were either doing laundry or sleeping) with Kak Safilah, religiously watching Hindi movies even when I had to be content with Govinda. (No offense, Govinda fans)

Heck, just to illustrate how weird I am about Hindi movies; I even went to Coliseum Jln TAR ALONE just to watch Khal Nayak, ok???

Till now, Hindi movies still get me. Even when they feature ridiculously impossible stunts or death defying heroes and illogical plots. It's just something about the haunting melody of the sitar and wonderfully thick manes on the heroines I guess.


3. I ate a couple of lizard's eggs once when I was younger. I actually thought they were sweets.


4. I hate seeing hair in the kitchen. I mean, on table tops or in the sink - not on top of people's heads where they belong, of course.


5. I wake up earlier in the morning during the holidays then when I'm working. I'm a morning person, so usually waking up isn't a chore but during working days, I seriously struggle to get up and shower tapi come weekends or holidays, tak payah alarm pun bleh bangun pukul enam. I'm like the kid who wakes up super early and goes into his parent's room and bug them. In this case, Abg gets poked and bugged to get up and entertain me.


6. I seriously LUUURRRRVE onions. Yellow, red, big, small, uncooked, cooked - but I stop short at biting into them like Shrek did in the first movie. and to think that Ma used to have to force me to eat them when I was younger.


I'm tagging -

Yaya, RedBeanBun, Zetty, Zaiti, DBI and SuperWomanWannabe - all among my must read blogs.

Rules of the game: Each player of this game starts out by telling 6 weird things about themselves on their own blog, as well as state the rules clearly. At the end, you will need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list out their names. After you do that, leave them a comment on their blogs letting them know you tagged them.

Tag, you're it!

I love....

...four-day weekends! Especially the ones when I'm not on call. If I am, then the day before the call is ruined, as well as the day after, coz usually I'm just too knackered to do anything.

I must be the only person in Kelantan who would drive alllll the way to Kuantan to catch a movie. Seriously.

Three hours and a half journey, 300+kms...all for two plus hours of Ghostrider.

Well, actually, it didn't really matter what film it was. I just wanted to get myself into a cinema, and my other choices were a film where Eddie Murphy plays multiple characters and something with Erra Fazira.

I love making road trips like these. It gives me a chance to just lay back and catch up on stuff with Abg. Get away from that bangun pagi-mandi-gi kerja-balik kerja-masak-makan and go tidur routine.


View finder misted sebab baru keluar dari air conditioned room


View from our room

We checked into Gr*and Contin*ental Ku*antan, a stone's throw away from the MegaMall. Had lunch and Abg went off for Friday prayes. Movie was at 3.10pm tapi the hall was full, ok? Where did all these people come from? and it wasn't school holidays or anything. Maybe I'm NOT the only person who drives from Kelantan to Pahang for a movie, huh?


MegaMall is the building on the right.

Abg didn't fall asleep, so I guess that said something about the movie. On the way out, I saw this middle aged makcik - wa, makcik tgk Ghostrider, okay. and some people had kids of about 6-8 years of age. Okay la movie tu graded U but do you think a kid of 7 would actually appreciate a film like Ghostrider?

The next morning started with a leisurely buffet breakfast - 4.0 for variety; they had porridge, pancake, chicken sausage, baked beans, nasi goreng cina, nasi lemak and meehun plus the egg station and bread section and about 3.5 for taste - the sambal ikan bilis was nice. I still think MS Garden serves the best breakfast though.

and before we headed home, a short stop at Giant for our shopping. There are a few things that I keep a tab on with regards to prices. Kuaci Chacheer and Shokubutsu shower gel. Pacific KB sells the 300grammer kuaci for rm5.30 and it was only rm3.88 in Giant. I used to get rm5.99-rm6.50 for a packet of shokubutsu but lately I've been forced to buy them at RRP of rm8.50. At Giant they were selling it for rm14.28 for two and you get a cute soap dispenser. So guess who ended up with three cute soap dispensers that she now does not know where to put....hehe.



Anyone want one?

Come in pairs...

I've always noticed that my cases - on call or in the OPD - always usually come in pairs. Not the usual hum drum HPT, DM type 2 cases, 'sakit urat' or demam selsema routine; but the out of the ordinary, once in a while cases.

Like for instance, one morning in OPD, I had two cases of per vaginal bleeding. I had other examples too, but I can't remember them now....

But anyway, my call last night started quite busy after five. A family brought their mother who had been unconscious since 10 am okay? I understand la korang takde kenaikan and all, but 7 hours? Seriously?

She was breathing alright but was as if in a deep trance. Her arms were making random movements but she didn't respond to my calls. She DID however respond to me rubbing my knuckles on her sternum (the bit of bone in the middle of your chest. Cuba try tekan situ - sakit woo). When a case of unconsciousness like this comes into your A&E, if you're lucky, it's a case of hypoglycaemia (low blood sugar), kalau kurang sikit itu nasib baik, it's a case of haemorrhagic stroke and if you're really unlucky, it's something else.

I wasn't feeling very lucky that night, so of course, her blood sugar was normal. Her oxygen saturation and blood pressure remained stable. I was sure it's a haemorrhagic stroke but must have something to back my story up, yeah? Nanti susah aa MO Neurosurgical in USM nak terima...:) Then, after checking her pupils for the second time, I noticed that the right one is oval in shape. When I reported this to the MO on call, he accepted my case and off she went to HUSM.

As I was having my dinner and Maghrib prayers, I wondered if there would be a 'twin' of the earlier case. and I was not disappointed. At about 8, came in this case of a 71 y.o. male who apparently overdosed on his schizophrenia medication. After vomiting once and had some loose stool, became unconscious. He was actually snoring like a baby when he arrived. His pupils were pin point. Besar sikit je dari saiz noktah at the end of this sentence. Off he went to HRPZII. Selamat.

The rest were MVAs, fevers and the run of the mill epigastric pains.

Woken up at three for a bronchopneumonia. Mother actually surprised I admitted the 3 year old. What...? You come at three in the morning, must be something serious kan? Of course need admission la! :)

Laid my head for a split second (or so it felt) and it was already half five. A case of G4P0+3 (means currently pregnant for the fourth time, yet no live deliveries. +3 means three abortions) at 31 weeks complaining of having contraction pains. She had cervical circlage done (meaning stitches were made in her cervix to keep her baby inside) but I guess that isn't working. My prayers went with her as she boarded the ambulance. I'm not sure I would be as strong if I were in her shoes.

Along the way...

Hannah enjoying her cream of mushroom soup at S*hakey's Pizza after we 'abducted' her from kindy. Her teacher was telling telling us that once she was telling them about cows and Hannah went to her and asked 'Teacher, kenapa cow ada tetek?'. Macam manaaa nak jawab tu?



View from our room at E*quatorial Melaka during our road trip to the south of Malaysia last year.



Something I wish to see in the future, with one of our own. Buat masa sekarang, takde rezeki lagi la kot.



Hannah in a contemplative mood while Mak Long, Pak Long, Mummy and Babah were having lunch at Orie*ntal Restaurant, K*ota B*haru.



One of those increasingly rare moments when we could get away as a family. Taken at Pang*kor Island.

Korunnnnnnkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!????????????

So anyway, yeah......i'm on leave and all.....after siapkan kerja2 yang menempek2 including my very long overdue SKT (thank you Kak Nor for entertaining this procrastinator)....I logged on to my blog and somehow today decided to update my beta blogger to the brand spanking new Google account.

and guess what I found????????

Twenty two messages (well, satu tu tak kira sebab spam)!!!!!!!!! Where have they all been all this time? Kena sembunyi ngan virus ke?

So anyway.....my silver lining today is, I ACTUALLY HAVE READERS!! *lol* Can that be considered a silver lining?

So all those people leaving comments for me, wow...thanks! Waaa, rasa macam Mawi dapat award Bintang Paling Popular la plak.....

So, (berapa kali 'So' daaaa), I hope I got this glitch sorted out and keep leaving comments!

p/s: i think i know why lah - me thinks me's supposed to click at 'moderate comments'? Hmm?

One Year Old

Thirty one I am today.

Boo.

Very bad past two days, but I will not dwell on it. Suffice to say I hate some staff nurses who are so kiasu that they would actually do something unethical like alter their reports (which aren't that useful anyway - sikit-sikit: pesakit dalam keadaan lemah tapi stabil. Ubatan diberi. Bla bla blaaaaa....) so that they will be free from blame.

BUT, it's my birthday today. Not that I'm glad I'm older yet no thinner than last year. Well, at least, not heavier, yeah? Hehe.

Abg got me a gorgeous gold locket for our anniversary cum birthday present. I actually first laid my eyes on it about a month ago while I was getting my niece Hannah her first gold locket. P*h K*ong just launched their latest range of lockets which are shaped like mini heart shaped 'cages' and in some of these 'cages' are semi precious stones. The one I particularly fell in love with had two blood red biji sagas in them. One side's yellow gold and the other's white gold so you get to wear it with either necklace. Cool, eh?



But at that time I thought it was a bit too pricey so I longingly left it in the hands of the sales assistant. I never spoke about it after that. So, when it appeared in the box that Abg gave me, imagine my surprise. Yes Abg, you exceeded my expectations....next year, must do better, yes....? Heehee. I love you Abg. I love you and all your jiggly bits....:)

Two down, two to go...

Bad on call last night.

and when I say bad, I meant, death happened.

and it's bad because it was preventable.

How could I have not remembered that I ordered a repeat ECG and then forgotten to review it? Why didn't my staff nurses remind me that I ordered a repeat ECG and that I was supposed to see it?

Bengang and terkilan.

The thing is, I HAD gone to the ward for a quick round at 8 pm before attending to cases at the casualty. I spent half an hour there reviewing my unstable angina cases and not one of the staff said to me, Doc, you ordered a repeat ECG, would you like to take a look?

Aaaarrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Multiple bleuuurghs...

I just couldn't go to work today. I woke up so depressed and then in turn made Abg depressed. I seriously had chest pains thinking about turning up for work today. I know what I'm doing is bad. Keji ya amat. But I just could not do it. I know if I did, I'd be grumpy to my patients and end up not feeling too good about myself.

I haven't felt good about myself in a long time.

First, I thought moving back into a hospital environment would help. It did, for a while. But my ugly dragon reared its head again and started to cause misery for the people around me. I have lost interest in life, in my home - no longer indulging in my hobbies. Anhedonia, I think is what it's called. I'm sleeping more yet the more I sleep, the more tired I get. I've even started to lose my appetite, and THAT is not good. Food tastes crap (but then that's because I'm cooking, kot) and tears are incessantly welling up.

*SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

Where is a silver lining when I need one...?

A special dedication.

WHEN I SAW YOU - Mariah Carey

Soft heavenly eyes gazed into me
Transcending space and time
And I was rendered still
There were no words for me to find at all
As I stood there beside myself
I could see you and no-one else

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe
I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be
I'd never be the same

Only once in a lifetime love rushes in
Changing you with the tide
And dawn's ribbon of light
Bursts through the dark
Wakening you inside
And I thought it was all untrue
Until there, all at once, I knew

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe
I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be
I'd never be the same

With no beginning
And without an end
You are the one for me
And it's evident
And your eyes told me so
Your eyes let me know


Happy Birthday Abg.

With oceans of love,
Your wife.

I wish I wish...

I wish I had a magic wand that could fulfill all my wants without limitations.

As I go through my simple life, I see so many wrongdoings and faults around me that if I spend my time thinking about it, seriously, I would get so depressed and lose my appetite (buleh ker....hehehe).

But occasionally, these so called 'wrongdoings' may sometimes be perceived as human nature, or behaviour and I don't want to come across as being judgemental.

I have so many opinions in me, yet I fear from speaking out because I realise how 'jahil' I am and I don't want to speak out of ignorance.

Tapi, if you are faced with an aged mother who goes around carrying her disabled child, who tells you that she has gone twice to a local KK but been asked to leave as the doctor is too busy to write her a short letter on her child's condition so that she could apply for financial help, and then travels 30 kms to the district hospital in hope of getting someone to help her....what would go through your mind?

What do you tell her when you wish you could help her and write her that letter yet there are 50 patients waiting to be seen and they have been waiting since the clinic opened and that was 3 hours ago?

I want to be angry but to whom do I direct my anger? To the M&HO at the KK who was probably unaware of her in the first place? or to the KK staff who could spare time to help some bigshot see the M&HO regardless of how many patients there are waiting yet could not spare one minute to assist this helpless nobody? Am I angry to the government who seems to ignore the plights of the poor - the gap between the rich and the poor seems so far away nowadays. Am I angry for my fellow doctors who choose to work overseas therefore contributing towards the lack of medical officers here? I am outraged, I want to blame everyone yet in reality there isn't really anyone to blame.

While I was in charge of the Paeds ward a few years back, I had a case of a child with CP (cerebral palsy). She was 9 I think, I can't remember. Her parents are in KL, from what I gathered, working in 'kilangs' and they have left this child to the grandmother. and this grandmother, a frail makcik, weighing probably at about 40 kilos, actually CARRIES her grandchild to appointments and physio and god knows what else at home. Even when they are waiting in the waiting area, she was carrying her. Her muscles are too limp and she can't even sit stright in a wheelchair. and how long are waiting times in a typical govt hospital?

Makcik tells me she travels 40 kms everytime her grandchild has a specialist's appointment, with a 'kereta sewa' that sometimes comes to rm20 one way. and Pakcik is suffering from stroke at home, mostly bed bound. So tell me, who do I get angry with? Especially when it is this Makcik who suffers through her hardships.

I try to help once in a while but there is only so much I can do as one person.

I wish I wish.....

p/s: Do you know what 'kuaci's (sunflower seeds) are called in the Kelantan dialect? I learnt this from my niece Asilah Husna not long ago and I thought aptly described what they are.

Butir ralik.

Ralik means leka, as if in a trance. and do observe people who enjoy eating kuacis. Note their almost trance like action of putting one seed after another into the mouth, extracting its crunchy insides.

Interesting isn't it...? :)

Sniffles

There's nothing more pleasant than discovering I've got a long weekend ahead of me with no on calls!

Came back to work on a relaxing Thursday and discovered among others that in view of Maal Hijrah on Saturday, Sunday has been proclaimed a public holiday! Yippeeee!

Kelantan and Terengganu have been having their govt officers in a muddle before this. Sekejap cuti, sekejap tak cuti. In one instance, Kelantan cuti tapi Terengganu tak cuti. So I'm not sure whether this will be a permanent thing or not.

Wanted to go for a family trip with Abg's family but they weren't very enthusiastic plus SIL had her classes this weekend. So ended up doing basically NOTHING - which, isn't really bad you know.....:)

Plus, suddenly developed a case of the sniffles on Saturday. Pergi K*B M*ll pun takde mood. This morning managed to do some tidying up and vacuuming. Abg did lunch, what a sweetheart.

I'm on call Wednesday. Booo.....

A well earned break

After the chaos that is my OPD in HTM, boy was I glad for my holiday. I usually try to go back to KL once every three months. Abg doesn't get to query/complain because I spend the rest of the year with his family. Fair la kan...hehehe.

We (my sisters and I) decided that we must must MUST go for a family trip this time round. I said I'd pay for accommodations, and sendiri2 bayar duit minyak and duit tol. So, sis number 2 said she'd pay for dinner at a Medan Ikan Bakar. Originally wanted to go to Melaka but sis number 2 already went so she was not keen. After lingering on Bagan Lalang (no suitable place to stay) and Kuala Selangor (Tok Mama does not want to ride on rickety boats at Maghrib time regardless of how beautiful the kelip2 looks), we later decided on Lumut. I came across *Lumut Valley Condo Resort* - RM148 for a studio deluxe, RM268 for a 3 bedroom apartment - good deal what? - among the advantages of holidaying during off peak seasons.

Stopped at Teluk Intan for lunch. Gu*lam Ras*ul is so famous there...! it's like THE nasi kandar place to be and I saw at least three different branches of it roundabout Lu*mut/Te*luk In*tan.

We reached Lumut about 4 and after checking in and checking out each other's rooms, Hannah immediately wanted to go to the swimming pool. What is it with kiddies and water, huh? The moment they see any amount of water in a container, they develop this uncontrollable urge to jump in and splash around. Hannah was so excited, she insisted on wearing her goggles in the car. Kiut sangat.

By the by, her mummy has enrolled her in a kindy called Kri*sta. Very nice location, very nice headmistress. I think they have branches all over. After classes in the morning, they also have daycare. Nice lah, siap ada uniform lagi. Hannah has been taught to say "My name is Hannah" whenever she is asked the appropriate question. But then, she has also developed this knack of saying "Oh mak kau" at no particular time of day; I'm worried her babah will say her aunts are becoming a bad influence on her.....hehehe. Janji bukan kitorg yang ajar tau......

Lumut's a nice place. Very well developed. Clean. It's small, yes but only because most ppl just use Lumut as a stopover on the way to Pangkor. Excited sgt sampai lupa nak ambik gambar. Later that evening, Abg and I went to Tel*uk Ba*tik to survey for dinner. The beach itself is average, but just before you reach the beachfront itself is a sign towards Medan Ikan Bakar (apatah - tak ingat). We chose and ordered food and told them to prepare it for half eight. So, kot bila nak makan karang, takde la nak tunggu sejam baru dapat food. Preparation is the utmost when you are travelling with 9 other adults, ok...:)

Ramai jugak org kat Medan Ikan Bakar tu later that night. Nearly full and they had quite a lot of tables. Luckily our tables by the water had been reserved and food came not 5 mins later. Perfect. Taste wise, hmmm, not that great lah. I've had better tapi boleh la....

The next day off we went at nearly 8 to get a ferry to Pangkor. Biasa lah, tourist spots macam nie byk lah ulat2 berkeliaran, insisting that their ferry is the best option around. Since going to Langkawi last year, I've learnt my lesson and not grab the first thing that comes hovering near my face. If there are no better options about, I can always get back to him, huh?

We were loitering around at about quarter to 8 and this ulat approached sis number 2, insisting that the next ferry was only at quarter past. He is offering RM10 perhead (return ticket). I said no, I want to check out other options. Ye lah, we're not really pressed for time ke apa, kan..kalau betul dah takde ferry, nanti kiotrg dtg la beli tiket you. Tapi as we walked towards the jetty, he loitered with us, siap buat small talk with Tok Papa. and Lo and behold, an 8 am ferry is waiting and we paid only for 8 adults (we got 2 FOC), so ended up only paying RM8 per head.

I sound calculating, kan....? but it's not the money, it's the principles, people! :)

Pangkor was marvellous!!!!!!!!!!!!

A sea of pink vans waited as we unboarded the ferry (journey took 25mins). Take note, these are the only means of travelling. It fits 12 adults so just nice lah untuk the Sukeri clan nih. They offered us RM60 for a 2 hour trip and they will bring you to 4 sights - 2 tourist spots, a kilang ikan and the beach.

Next time I go, I'll just get a 'taxi' to Teluk Nipah. Snorkeling there is highly recommended and you don't even have to know how to swim! I saw a family of makciks siap dgn tudung labuh ngan baju kurung lagi okeyyyy......sense of adventure sungguh.

Hannah had fun destroying the sand castles her mak long made (apa la punya anak sedara) while her mummmy and babah went snorkeling. Nasib baik baby Hariz slept soundly all the while his mummy went. I told Hannah mummy gi kerja cabut gigi kat tgh laut...hehehe....

At noon, we trudged back to the apartments with big bags off fish products and made our way back to KL. Reality sank in as we got caught in the Sungai Buluh traffic crawl. Ahhh, nothing like a traffic jam to jolt you to your senses, huh....

All in all, a fun and mostly hassle-free family outing. Where next people????

Birthday Girl

Hello!!
Nama saya Wan Nadiah Hannah.
Hari ini, harijadi saya yang ketiga.
Saya sangat happy sebab Mummy dan Babah belikan saya Barbie Beautiful Bride dan Prince Derek yang ada 12 pasang kasut.

Saya ada seorg adik. Nama dia Wan Nazmi Hariz. Dia saaaaangat gemuk sebab tiap2 hari dia minum baaaanyak susu.

Tok Mama dan Tok Papa pun ada belikan saya pressie. Mak Long saya tinggal di Kelantan. Mak Long kata dia akan balik minggu ini. Saya takut dengan Pak Long sebab dia ada janggut. Babah takde janggut. Mak Long suka belikan saya hadiah tapi kadang2 Mak Long suka marah saya sebab dia kata saya cepat nangis. Tapi saya tau Mak Long sebenarnya sayangkan saya.



Mummy kata Mak Long nak bawak Tok Mama, Tok Papa, Mak Teh, Mak Su, Pak Uda dan Pak Su, Hannah, Mummy, Babah dan baby Hariz pergi jalan-jalan. Mak Long, Hannah nak pergi tempat yang ada swimming pool!

Post Call Post Mortem

Future MOs at district hospitals sekalian.......bahawasanya, kes-kes APO dan yang sewaktu dgnnya will almost always turn up in the wee hours of the morning. Seriously.

APO (acute pulmonary oedema) is a condition when there is a sudden onset of chest pains associated with shortness of breath due to fluids in the lungs. Your patient will definitely not be able to lie flat - if he/she is forced to do so, he/she will complain of feeling 'lemas'. They get very restless and to a fresh MO on her first on call at the district hospital, can be very scary. Ye lah, previously, masa korang housemen, most likely case APO nie MO korang yang settle kat casualty. By the time korang tgk kat wad, makcik or pakcik tu dah stable.

My on call last night (speaking of which, on calls on back to back weekends are sgt meletihkan la. Hari tu on call raya haji-the following weekend, on call lagi..) wasn't too bad in terms of patients coming to the casualty. Well, not in the first half of the day anyway. Patients were basically non existant apart from a barrage of jaundiced babies which, most, thankfully could be discharged. However, the previous night a male patient with fever and low blood pressure was admitted. His BP only picked up after commencement of dopamine. The staff nurse in ward kept calling me with one problem after another. I think, though, it's just a ploy to get me to refer him so that they won't have to be bothered with his once every 15-minutes BP monitoring...hahaha.

First his BP was shooting up and down. Adjust dopamine pun payah nak stabilise. Then he developed vomiting and abdominal discomfort with some difficulty in breathing. Finally, he stopped producing urine after 12 noon. Waaa, manyak tension oo. Then I had the unfortunate luck of having the most annoying night staff who kept pestering me to refer the patient. Weh, aku doctor ke mu doctor....that was what I wished I could say to her.

On top of that, the casualty started to become busy. There was a PV bleeding, two MVAs (motor vehicle accidents) - one of which claimed and cried when he was unable to move his legs, tapi tetiba kecoh and menjerit mintak seluar jeans dia balik. One kid got knocked down by a motorbike, NOT by the aforementioned though, hahaha. A stroke case got in and an acute abdomen who had come several times the night before. and ON TOP OF ALL THAT, my male ward has become full. Aiyo, where to put patients lah?

Luckily, a former colleague in Machang was also on call. I gave him a quick call and asked if I could 'borrow' a bed or two if needed. Nasib baik boleh. So one of the MVAs was shipped to Machang, his friend was referred to HRPZ II and the stroke to Pasir Mas. The PV bleeding got admitted, as with the child with the closed fracture. The acute abdomen was a clear cut case of intestinal obstruction but refused to be referred. Letih la. If I keep him, his condition might deteriorate. Honestly, ikut hati memang tak nak simpan la cases like these. Tapi what to do, if patients refuse to go, there is nothing you can do.

Labour room kept receiving cases, thankfully, nothing serious that needs urgent attention.

About midnight, just when I thought I could finally go and clerk my labour room cases, masuk la this 88-year-old lady. TYPICAL presentation of APO. Tambah2 lagi, already has a history of previous admission for APO. According to son, though premorbidly quite active, very difficult to persuade to take medications.

I started the initial medication, put her on bladder catheterisation and called the medical MO on call. Suara macam letih aje. Nasib baik dia tak ckp banyak, terima terus kes tu.

By now, it's already past 1 am. Makcik looked increasingly distressed. My second on call was away somewhere else which would take an hour to get here. What to do, what to do?

Future doctors, if you're on passive call, please la don't be so irresponsible as to be so far away from the hospital. It beats the purpose of putting you on passive call in the first place.

Makcik's oxygen level dropped to 80. She looked near collapse. I contemplated intubating her. Tapi karang takde ventilator, susah plak aku. I gave her another shot of frusemide, put her on high flow oxygen and decided to escort the case myself. A quick call to my senior MO who lives nearby and I was off.

Surprisingly, makcik survived the 45 min journey. Siap bleh sengih2 kat aku lagi. "Mujur selamak sa-pa, deh? (Mujur selamat sampai, kan?)" Ye makcik, mujur..... Her condition made a complete turnaround. Must be that roller coaster-like ride on the ambulance.

Balik ke HTM at three, sembahyang isya and collapsed. Slept till 5 am and trudged to casualty to look at this IHD case. He came in at half two tapi apparently was stable. He was sleeping soundly on the stretcher. Kalau aku tau, aku tidur sikit lagi. Hehehe.

Penutup of my oncall was a BID (brought in dead) case. 57 years old, background history of heart problem and had earlier complained of shortness of breath. Apparently, became still about 10 mins away from the hospital. Sedih la tgk anak dia. Tak sangka la mak dia dah meninggal. Apa nak buat.

and BTW, the guy with hypotension and no urine? Referred him at 8 am. My morning nurses must have been jumping for joy as he left.

Musings

Since when have I become this terrible human being when I am with my patients? I tried to deny it at first yet the truth has turned around and made a head on collision with my conscience. So I've been asking myself, since when have I become this jaded, disillusioned, cynical human being when it comes to dealing with patients?

Does Dr House ring a bell? Hmm, I don't watch it much; a lot of people have been telling me what brilliant tv entertainment it is (I'll just get the DVD compilation) but what little I have managed to catch does make me think that I must be the female, Malaysian version of him. The jaded, disillusioned, cynical part, that is. Not the the brilliant diagnostician part. Unfortunately.

It wasn't a particularly bad on call last night. Only managed 2 hours of sleep - itupun tidur ayam, as you usually get during on calls, tapi biasa lah tu. Up at half two attending to a sudden barrage of labour room cases from Jeli (their 6-(apparently) bed ante-postnatal ward were full - tambah la katil weii) and had this TOS (trial of scar) that I had to keep a close eye on. After she delivered (lega!), there was another first time mother who had trouble bearing down. She finally managed to deliver (with 15 mins to spare) and I trudged off to my on call room at 6 am.

Thursdays aren't usually busy at our OPD tapi today it was particularly bad. Maybe everyone wanted to stock up on medications in view of the long weekend (long weekends are really bad for OPDs, I think). I was getting through the cases as fast as I could and couldn't spare much time for pleasantries. and one of my patients took offense.

Making a long story short, I just kept quiet while she lectured me on such poor service I am giving. I wasn't even listening to what she was saying. The pounding headache blocked out much of it. Normally I would have given some back to her, tapi post call punya pasal, kita diam aje lah. I told her, 'Nama saya Dr Suriana. Komplen lah kalau awak nak.' Dengan nada yang selamba gitu. Macam gangster la plak bunyinya, kan. Tapi seriously, I was so tired I really couldn't care less. I could deal with whatever later but not then.

Bengang, memang la bengang, tapi now, hours after the incident, I am thinking - I somehow deserved that. Regardless of how tired I am, I should have shoved that all aside and treat my patients as if I have all the time in the world. It doesn't matter that makcik Semah has turned up for registration at 7.55 am and still haven't managed to be seen at 10, tapi if a mak datin wanna be comes into my room and demands her BP be checked despite getting hundred-ringgit-per-visit-consultations at a private specialist hospital, I guess I must hide my contempt and trudge along.

I must sound as if I'm making excuses for my behaviour but I'm not. This is just me thinking myself out. I wish there is a way for me to turn up for work and not assume anything of the person sitting at my desk. Not assume he's just here to get MCs so that he can get off for Raya. Not assume that pakcik Mat tells me that he takes his diabetic medication yet scoffs on nasik berlauk three times a day complete with fat laced sup tulang and extra sweet teh beng.

Because all this assumption is just making it worse. I mean my jadedness, my disillusionment and my cynicism.

*sigh*

*Another Big Sigh*

I seriously am not liking myself much right now.

and I'm on call Raya Haji.

Selamat Hari Raya Qurban.

Bummer

I did a verrrry bad thing today. Though at the time I did it, I didn't know it was bad.

Now, I realise what a huge mistake I did and I really feel like an idiot.

I wish I could turn back time.

Oncall - bleurgh......

Post call - yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember when I went for my induction course, a fellow medical officer listed 'benda yang dibenci - oncall. benda yang disukai - postcall'. Ada gak another fella who said, 'benda yang dibenci - oncall. benda yang disukai - claim elaun oncall' - hehehe....smart alec la tu.

Yesterday I had my first oncall in 17 months.

My senior MO gave us a month to get used to managing patients, since the roster had been set up and it would only be a waste of time to reconstruct it just to accommodate us two new MOs. I had the good intentions of 'tagging' - some call it shadowing - but of course, my good intentions remain as intentions, hehe.

I've long learnt that particular MOs are 'jonah' - which simply means, when these jonah people are oncall, the worst and the most bizarre cases will trudge, be rushed or be wheeled into the A&E that day. We have one of those in my hospital. Thank goodness she is only oncall a day a month! Imagine, during the one weekend that she was on duty, she referred a total of 12 cases! From upper GI bleeds to severe metabolic acidosis to multiple fractures. Surprisingly she remains good natured about it. Pass a cup of that positive thinkin' my way, kak TJ!

I've noticed that even though I'm not generally jonah, I'm not that particularly 'cool' either. One lucky MO once told us envious lot, that one night, she didn't get a single call from casualty and slept very soundly from 9 pm till the next day. How come I'm never that lucky?

I turned up early on my oncall day. The fact that I couldn't get much sleep and was wide awake by 5 am didn't help either.

We don't do rounds per se; usually we just do the discharges for post natal cases and then review cases that have been passed over by the MO in charge or oncall the previous day. Apparently it was rather quiet the night before and I was crossing my fingers and my toes that the quietness will extend to my period of duty.

and in a way, it did. The labour room only started receiving cases at about 5 pm. Staff syif pagi lepak siot. There were no life threatening cases - only a bunch of epigastric discomforts and two cases of multiple bee stings. The makcik I saw was stung about 20 times and still had stingers on her face! Nasib baik no anaphylactic reaction.

Tapi, at night it became busier. I only managed to drag myself to bed at 3 am and itupun, bukan boleh tidur lena. I kept anticipating the phone to ring. So, again, at 5 am, I was wide awake; must be the adrenaline. So, a quick shower later, I dragged my sore feet and very sore and now callused thumb for a quick round of the cases I admitted. While waiting for the next MO to take over, I even managed a quick discussion of a case of afebrile seizures that I admitted last night.

Tapi, yang pelik sungguh tu......there were NOT A SINGLE motor vehicle accident case at all last night, which is maha weird for HTM.

Tired as I am (still unable to get any sleep since returning home this morning. Even managed a leisurely shopping trip for beads in KB), I have no complaints. This is my job. This is what I've been trained to do and I love it. but of course, not as much as I love the sensation of being post call.......

Odds and Ends

I made a big decision today.

However, whether my big decision becomes a reality or otherwise remains to be seen. But I guess, something has to be done. Things cannot stay the way it is, regardless of how content I feel I am right now.

An unfortunate case came into casualty today. Sundays are never a good day. It seems like a majority of ill patients like to 'ok' - kelantanese for persevere or stand ground - in the moments of illness during the weekend and then turn up in droves on Sunday. This guy was doing some wiring job on top of a ladder about 10-15' high and subsequently fell to the ground, hitting his head. He seemed like he was awake and at one time attempted to get up but when we asked what his name is, he appeared not to hear us.

We thought he could have been mute or maybe a foreigner - Siamese ppl look a lot like Malays over here in Kelantan, you can hardly tell them apart - but his friends tell us that he isn't. I left him to the care of the MO in charge and went to tend to my OPD patients.

Apparently later he fitted and had to be intubated. Poor R had to deal with the difficult intubation - it must have been one hell of a difficult one because she has a year's experience in Anaesthesia and still had to call for help!

On a more bitchy note - I just hate ppl who throw rubbish out of their car window. Why oh why do ppl do this??!! I guess these same ppl are the ones who nonchalantly throw rubbish out their house windows as well. Why can't parents be more responsible and teach some good manners to their kids? Buang keluar tingkap pun still kotorkan rumah sendiri apa....? Eeee,....rasa macam nak kutip balik sampah tu and buang masuk balik dlm rumah aje.....

and Last but not least, a special mention to one of my oldest friends (I've known him since I was 17, my god I just realise how ancient I am...) who has passed his MRCPs!!!!!!!!!! Yeay!!

Cuba teka....?

This is taken in Permaisuri. Abang and I always have a good giggle everytime we pass by the shop.

Any ideas what it's selling?

Open for a month a year

This is the gerai makan that I was talking about previously. As you can see, siap ada tempat jual air lagi. Seriously, this was taken at 11 am okay. Who buys air for buka puasa at 11 am?



The second picture taken after Raya. Noticeably vacant.



Only Allah knows....

Familiar faces

When oh when will I get my own phone line? Before I transferred from the other place, I'd already made arrangements for the old line to come here but Malaysian customer service being the way it is, guess what, four weeks on and there's still no news.

But anyways, it's been three weeks since I came back to HTM. I just love being in a hospital. As bad as being on call is, the quietness of the corridors and the sleeping patients (as long as they're not restless or gasping la) calms me. At least I've firmly decided on where I would like to work.

I had said before, during one of my farewell speeches, that whenever I leave a place, I only remember the good stuff. and when I left HTM, I kept missing the good natured ambience that the staff has. I forgot about when I whined about colleagues who took advantage of us junior ones or when it got so busy that I ended up escorting a patient twice in 12 hours. So naturally, the moment I spent my first day, they all come flooding back in a huge tsunami...hehehe.....and long suffering colleagues all rolled their eyes as if to say 'Macam la kau tak pernah kerja sini...'

Not only the staff are familiar, even some patients I still remember and they, in turn still remember me. Two chinese girls and their grandmother and aunt came to see me one day. The last time I saw her, she was this scrawny, pale thing who was stuck on oxygen and her mum. She had been my patient while I was in HRPZ II (formerly HKB) too. and now.....she's still scrawny but she's all grown up! :) Sadly her mother had died about 2 years ago.

Two days ago, my colleague referred a case which had equally saddened and enraged me the first time I met her. She was taken care of by her aunt. Her father, an IVDU had passed away and the first time I met her, the mother had passed away as well. The next I heard, her other two siblings also had died. Tell me, what other types of sadness and grief can you possibly wish on this unfortunate being? A year and half ago at least she was well. I could barely recognise her that day. Her limbs were like matchsticks, her tummy distended and her skin had multiple rashes. She looked exhausted; maybe she had finally given up on fighting for her life.

I've a hunch she might not return to Tanah Merah....and perhaps that is for the best.

It was a cold and rainy day....

The monsoon rain beats heavily on her silver Kenari windshield. The grey clouds mirror the heaviness in her heart. Once in a while she clumsily wipes at the tears flowing on her cheeks.

Why are men so idiotic sometimes? She cries silently. Husbands in particular....! Is it so hard to show your appreciation towards your wife, whether it by words or by actions...? Teasing you may be but the word still smarts.

A muffled sob escapes her lips. She drives slowly pass the silent schools, the small roadside sundry shops and looks for a place she can stop by. She needs a moment to think.

Her phone rings. She glances at the display. Let it ring, her heart says. Serves him right for treating you this way. He's probably calling to admonish you for leaving the house without permission. He probably just wants to tell you off for letting him face the puzzled expressions of his family members, for he, does not know where his wife is. He, who ALWAYS knows where the wife goes. For she does not go anywhere without him.

But that was before. It's time to teach him a lesson. Let him know that he cannot treat her like chewing gum he accidentally stepped on and now wants to get rid off.

The beginnings of a headache throbs in her head. I need to get home. Regardless of how angry I am, I miss him already.

She starts her car and makes a three point turn. The rain still falls but already the clouds look a little less grey to her.

The house is empty. His car isn't parked at it's usual spot. Her heart lunges to her feet and beyond. Sampai hati.... The tears start to fall again. The throbbing becomes more intense. She should really get some sleep. A couple of paracetamols should take care of the pain. Her last thoughts as she dozed off was of him, laughing as he enjoys the weekend lunch at his sister's home. Happy to be rid off her.

Two hours later she wakes up. His arms are wrapped around her, his breath consolingly warm against her neck. She turns around and he opens his eyes. She starts to pull his arm away from her but he resists.

Stop it! Do you know what matters of things have been going through my head the past four hours? Do you know the moment I realised that you'd left, I rushed out to find you that I left my wallet at home and when I got to where I thought you'd be, I still couldn't find you and now the gas tank is empty and I didn't have money to fill it up?

She ponders upon his words, deciding if she should believe him but deep down realises that he has never lied to her so why would he start now?

Do you know how worried I have been, and how sorry I am that I'm such an idiot and please not do that to me again?

She turns to face him. She knows he's telling the truth and that he indeed has gone round and round all the usual spots they frequent, hoping to catch a glimpse of her silver Kenari. She knows that for everything that she thought was bad about him, there are 10 other things that are wonderful about him.

She pulls him close and embraces him. I didn't go far, no matter how mad I am at you, I wouldn't dream of leaving you....I didn't go far. I'm sorry.

Hush, it's ok yang, it's ok. Now come and eat lunch with me, I'm starving.

and that day, she had the best ikan goreng she has ever tasted.....

Rut rut rut

I'm in a rut.

and I don't know how I'm going to get out of it.

Yesterday was my first day back at work. It was nice in a way, starting in a place where you've worked before. Now and then ppl kept stopping and saying things like 'Macam pernah tgk je muka nie...' and I don't resent that. It was nice of them to say that. But I don't think I'll be making myself comfy here. I'd like to advance at some stage.

But most of all, I'd like to get my own house.

With my own things and where I don't have to tread softly everywhere I go and get permission with anything I use.

Bleeuurgh.

I'm back to sharing spaces for just 2 weeks and already I'm resenting it.

and I'm resenting it so much that it's taking a toll with the people around me.

Someone tell me how I should get myself out of this rut...

Overwhelmed

Imagine trying to fit the entire content of a house into a room.

That is precisely what dr bekeng has been attempting to do for the past 2 weeks, bar the few days she had to celebrate raya.

and now she is totally overwhelmed.

She has tried putting some stuff at Ma's house in Pengkalan Chepa. A single seater sofa, the bed, the ironing board, the fan and the TV cabinet resides there now. The TV, on the other hand is currently sitting in a corner of the kitchen at FIL's house, a sad reminder of my currently (proper) homeless state. In her room, she has set up the PC (complete with her printer) AND another TV (albeit a much smaller one) and the DVD player. Some stuff has been replacing older equipments in FIL's house - the fridge, the washing machine, the ASTRO decoder (thank god no more interrupted dialogues!) and SIL will now be getting the microwave oven that used to sit on the kitchen counter because another microwave oven will be sitting there now.

BUT I still have about a tonne of other stuff that seriously needs a new home. What about my books - leisure and medically related-? What about my collection of DVDs? What about my stationeries? I now have two sets of toiletries and my lovely stainless steel, heavy bottomed crockeries are just sitting there in boxes....OUTSIDE, NEXT TO MY CAR......

Sorry, but I did say I'm overwhelmed...............

McDreamy, McSteamy and McVet

Warning, spoilers may be ahead.

I just spent the last 5 hours of my morning cooped up in my small and very messy room watching the complete second season of Grey's Anatomy.

When I watch and get hooked to any TV programmes - which I don't really, not that often - it's usually because I identify with the story and their characters. In this case, obviously it's the medical thing, y'know. I love Cristina and her barb wired comments and over achieving streak. I think I used to be like her before I mellowed down (or is it out? Ntah....). I love Miranda Bailey and her no nonsense attitude, because really we all know she's just a human being under all that talk.

I love watching Burke and Cristina and how they got together despite their major differences and how despite not so obvious gestures, the affection between those two still shine through.

and I love how all the characters gel together, weaving in between those stories that each of their patients tell - making each episodes such a gem and even though now I have completed all 20 odd episodes, it's not satisfying me but just making me hunger for more. I guess good TV series are supposed to do that to you.

GA is really one of those TV watching experience that makes you feel all the human emotions possible. Cristina's one liners always made me laugh till my sides hurt and I got angry that I felt like going into the TV and shaking some sense into Izzie when she fell in love with Denny (but of course, with charm by the bucketfuls, who wouldn't?) and I cried like a baby at so many scenes that I've lost count.

Yeah, it's OTT (ever seen a Katherine Heigl look-alike in your hospitals lately, huh????) and over glamourising the profession but who cares.....it's TV, it's escapism and we all need a little bit of that once in a while.....

Customer service part II

Ho hum, another Raya gone by.

It always seems like the whole of Malaysia's population ends up in Kelantan during the Raya festivities. Mind you, KB is no longer the quiet town it was 20 years ago, but come Raya, the whole state is transformed. Roads get congested, restaurants are full - even Renaissance's ramadhan buffets are fully booked by 8 am in the morning! and strange as it sounds, I can almost always tell which ones are local and those who are just here for the holidays.

Despite the slowly westernizing influences, Kelantan girls are still rarely seen without their tudungs. Though, when I see them in their tight jeans, almost sleeveless, low collared baby Ts, I seriously feel like going up to them and asking "Why do you even bother huh?" - most of them are still reluctant to take the tudungs off. But seriously la weyyy...why bother? The tudungs are either a)ikat mulut itik bawah dagu and so short that they expose the nape of the neck or the skin on the chest or b)all properly tied up but for some strange reason hair is allowed to fall out of the tudungs - most of the time can be seen on motorbikes at kampung roads.

KL girls on the other hand, expose their hair unashamedly, 9 out of 10 hair has been dyed - honey blond is quite popular. In fact this isn't exclusive to the girls, KL makciks also tend to exhibit a hair colour that isn't their own. They also have a different type of walk - maybe it's the air of confidence they naturally obtain from staying in a big city. and of course, the way they speak almost always give it away too. It's the Manglish that I usually can't stand.

But anyhow, me digress. I went to KB Mall on the second day of Raya. There's a new store next to P*ci**c open. So, Abg was looking for a suitable wedding present for a colleague and we were getting desperate. Browsing through the household section, I saw some bean bag covers (though I can't really imagine seeing a bean bag in a typical Kelantan home). My old one had become dirty and covered in mould due to the lack of use but I don't really want to throw the beans away. So I chose one of a neutral colour and proceeded to the cashier. So this guy with a fancy walkie talkie asked me I wanted to pay and when I said yeah, he mumbled into his equipment, I presumed looking for the staff in charge.

Okay, you know me, I'm a stickler for customer service, yeah....if you're already open for business, get someone manning the cashier la weh! The store has been open since 10 and my watch showed 10.20 and you still had to find someone at that time? 10 mins passed by and all I get are a bunch of temps walking in a group in between the aisles, zombie-like and of not much use to me. I was already starting to grumble, in a voice loud enough that the group of temps started to walk away from the vicinity of the paying booth.

After 15 mins of futile waiting, I left. Stupid idiots. Didn't even get my chance to exhibit my bekengness to anyone. If this had happened at Jusco, I'll be heading straight to the customer feedback booth pouring out my discontentment on a piece of their stationery. But the thing is, this sort of thing wouldn't even happen in Jusco in the first place.

You people at KB Mall, yeah, you management people....you can copy the physical aspects of big chain stores all you like, but if your staff is as crappy as they are that day, jgn harap la. I only visit your store because of the lack in choice. If Jusco were to open in KB, jangan harap la nak jumpa muka nie dekat P*ci**c/H*me M*rt ok?

Think that's the end of the story? No way Jose! Later that evening brought the gang out for dinner (tip for future KB Mall visitors, if you're planning to catch up on stories and having a nice conversation with friends, don't bother eating at the shop next to the bowling alley, it was so noisy I can barely hear myself think!) and Abg decided he'd get the Visions set. We chose quickly and queued up to pay. Sebesar-besar second floor of P*ci**c tu, they cleverly opened only one cashier and of course, the slowest, most stupid staff was working that night! After ten mins of waiting, the first customer in line still haven't left! The makcik standing in front of Abg started to get restless. Promoters were starting to pile things up on the counter. Then came this Ah So (supervisor kot) and Abg stopped her in her tracks and said "Tak boleh ke awak bukak counter lain untuk bayar?" - she asked what Abg was paying for and even lifted the box, walking towards the outside of the store where an idle cashier is waiting for people to buy clothes at the longgok section. The next thing I know, the rest of the queue followed us!

Hello! What crap management is this? A thousand of Zings are just waiting to be bombarded but Ah So left quickly, so takde can I nak laser dia.

Okay la, I bukan management oriented but even I can tell that you must be doing something wrong if this is how you manage your store. Why don't you go to other successfull chain stores and see how they do it? I've always enjoyed shopping at Jusco - the staff are so friendly, the advantages of the loyalty card are endless - they even give discounted parking if you're a card holder.

Ini, parking in KB Mall dah la already tak cukup to cater to the post gaji, weekend group - last time I saw, they actually converted the first floor parking to expand the store! Apa punya plan nie? So ppl actually park anywhere they want, blocking already narrow roads and what nots....

My solution? Apart from hoping that Jusco might be interested in opening in KB, be there at 10 am on a saturday morning and leave by 12 noon, saves me the hassle and heart ache and much easier on the blood pressure....

ZINGing....

Bengangnya I hari nieeeeee....!!!!

Kenapa I bengang? Well firstly, I luuuurrrrve the movie You've Got Mail. Tom Hanks isn't really the first guy I'd pick to play a hugely wealthy, highly desired, big boss of a chain of successful bookstores, tapi tak kisah lah tu. There is a part in the movie where Hanks emails Meg Ryan's character about what happened when both characters meet for the second time, where Kathleen finally discovers that Joe Fox is indeed of the Fox and Son's Bookstores.

Joe starts by saying this:
Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself?
That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts, your arrogance, your spite, your condescension, has sprung open?
Someone provokes you, and instead of smiling and moving on, you ZING them?
"Hello, it's Mr. Nasty."

In this case, Hey there, meet DR Nasty....

Ask my staff, ZINGing is like my favourite pasttime or something. and I almost always regret it, the moment the zings fly out of my mouth and I spend a good portion of the day thinking that maybe I could have handled it better, or become more patient.

*************************I actually started writing about what happened this morning which made me so mad but as I read through my entry, I thought so what.....so what if one silly girl decides that she could feel better by applying sarcasm to me. Yes, I should have handled it better, I guess. I could have had more patience, and acted more maturely. I'll even go as far as admitting that maybe I was asking for it. Tapi if I was perfect, I wouldn't be human pulak, kan......?

So, anyone know where I can buy a barrelful of patience..??

Tiada hala tuju...

Seems most of my friends are making a headstart in the advancement of their careers. Most already have decided what they want to do. Some have taken steps in forms of taking professional exams and joining Masters programme.

The same thing can't be said about yours truly though. Sometimes I think I wanna do Paeds, yet sometimes I think I might make a good lecturer and sometimes, I wish I have the option of retiring and becoming a housewife or something (but naaahhhh, I'll be too bored).

The thing is though, sometimes I feel as if I haven't learned much more than I did when I was a med student (and even THAT is not a lot - believe me when I admit that it was totally luck when I passed medical school). What little I learnt, I think a good portion has been forgotten in between the pages of my Kumar and Clark's Textbook of Medicine. Truth be said, sometimes I think I might even know less stuff now than I did 4 years ago!!

Life in a small KK (Klinik Kesihatan to you) hasn't helped much either. Seeing diabetics and hypertensives and headaches and eczemas and jaundice day in and day out can be quite monotonous that you find yourself feeling so discontented that you start venting it out on your patients.

The fault isn't them. It's me. Could it be that I'm just angry at my procrastinating self; added to that a pinch of envy at seeing how my friends have progressed?

I seriously think true happiness comes from complete contentment. Even if you have only ten ringgit in your wallet, if you're content, who is to say you're not happy, betul?

So tell me....what should I do to feel content again..???

Countdown

It's my last three days at my KK. and frankly, tak rasa nostalgic pun. I definitely will not miss the headache of dealing with staff and patients whom I don't really see as sick.

Hmmm, that did not turn out as well as I thought it in my head.

It's like this. When you're working in an A&E, ppl come to you sick. Sampai sometimes tak leh bangun. This, I can sympathise with. When ppl walk into my room all fine and dandy, this, I cannot register in my thick skull as being sick. OK tak cakap macam tu..?

But anyhow, talking about my line of work, I found this great blog called Dari Bilik Ini - it's written by a GP (from what I gather) and it's sometimes about interesting diseases, and sometimes about the patients that he encounters. Cool. and he's the first runner up of Blogger's Idol 2006!

but anyway, again, dr bekeng digresses. Since I'm off for a long holiday after Raya, we've decided to pack and move stuff this Thursday. So Abg decided that we should spend the few nights here. (Pish, pack apa.....tu dia dok melepak depan tv....:))

Anyhow, I told Abg to settle the termination of api, air and telepon and it turns out they needed my IC since the accounts are in my name.

Masa nak gi fotostat IC, Abg kata 'Nak tgk kedai jual nasi untuk org tak puasa tak? Heeheee, siap tgh tuang nasi lagi...' and it was only 12 noon, ok???!!!

and right in front of the JKR Depot and just a few strides away from Masjid Permaisuri, terang-terangan (walaupun berjerubu) dua tiga lelaki melayu sasa (actually tak la sasa pun, kerempeng aje, tu yang dia beli nasi at 12 noon tu kot) sedang seronok mencedok lauk ke dlm take away styrofoam diorg! and according to Abg, the stall has been open since 10 am!

Okla....bersangka baik all you want....tapi WHO buys food for berbuka at 12 noon???? and I was relaying this story oh-so-enthusiastically to Kak M and kebetulan my patient at that time tu a police officer. Dia siap boleh gelak sakan lagi. According to him, the stall owner already has been reported to Pejabat Agama - tapi obviously no action has been taken lah kan kalau dia masih menjual nasi dia dgn meriahnya!

It's one thing if ppl buy nasi bungkus ala spy buat transaction siap ada code word and disguise kit, but to buy it in the open with absolutely no shame at all?? What is the world coming to? and in Terengganu some more!!??

and what is the district Pejabat Agama doing? Why are you not doing your responsibilities and go tear down the stall or something. I'm sure it's not even built on her own property - macam duduk atas rezab jalan aje...

Tomorrow I will post a pic of this stall ok.....tunggguuuuuu.....

Well, gotta go wake Abg, I can hear his melodic snoring already...:)

Kisah dr bekeng disengat tebuan..

I kena gigit tebuan 2 nights ago. Sakitttt....

Abg and I just had dinner and I was in the kitchen washing up. Then I wanted to straighten up the dining table. Masa nak tolak kerusi tu masuk, i felt this intensely painful and burning sensation in the middle of the palm of my right hand. Memula tu ingatkan masuk duri ke selumbar ke apa but those type of pain goes away and you can usually see the culprit, tapi ini tak nampak apa.

When I returned to the kitchen after I told Abg what I thought had happened, I saw this humongous tebuan (hornet kot...) on the floor.

For an instant, my mind rushed over the possibility of me being allergic to the sting, but then I remember, those are usually with bees....hehehe...melodramatic la plak.

Abg put some gamat oil on the sting but the pain was OMG....there was absolutely NO position that I could put my hands in to relieve the pain. Last-last tried putting it in ice water, - helps a bit but then tangan plak beku.

The throbbing discomfort lasted all night. I kept waking up due to the pain. Abg gelak je when I refused to go to the clinic - 'takut kena cucuk'.

The next day my right hand had swollen up so much that I couldn't make a fist. The pain, still there but much less in intensity, thank god. I called in sick - couldn't drive or write and was too 'mamai' from the lack of sleep....
and then malam semlm, the swollen area got so itchy, rasa macam nak garu ngan berus besi je....

I know I don't want to go through that again so I think I will keep an extra look out for humongous tebuans next time I'm clearing up the kitchen....

Public speaking

I had to give a ceramah today.

Ibu Berisiko semasa Hamil serta Faktor-faktor Kematian Ibu dan Anak.

The thing is, I don't think I have problems speaking in public, yet when I'm up there, all good sense goes out the window and brings a speed train in.

So, I end up talking like one.

But I think today it wasn't too bad. The mothers were nodding to what I was saying, and there wasn't that many expressions of complete puzzlement, so I guess I didn't do too bad.

The one thing that I seriously detest is people talking when someone else is giving a speech. If it was something emergency that simply couldn't wait, takpe la jugak. Once, I was at a conference in Ipoh, the guys (who says being a doctor automatically gives you good manners?) behind me were actually giving a review of how Brazil sucked big time this World Cup just past. Ada ke patut???

Hello brother....kalau kau tak nak dgr ceramah, sudah la, gi keluar la ok....jgn la plak mengganggu konsentrasi org yang nak dengar niee.....

That was what I was tempted to say to him and his gang, tapi of course la buat diam je. But one of these days......

and how is it that I am the one who always ends up sitting next to, or in front of or behind, the yakkety-yakking makciks whom, at that precise moment, chose to share her you-must-try-this biscuit recipe?

and what about people who simply cannot be bothered to switch their phones to silent mode? Takkan la beli phone mahal siap ada camera 7 juta pixel takde silent mode kot? and how is it that these same people, would end up with the most ridiculous, annoying ring tones and proceed to take hours to locate the said phones when they ring?

A productive day

I seriously think, the best days are the ones where you are on leave and everyone else isn't.

I had a day off yesterday. Since I'm reporting to JKN Kelantan today, I really couldn't be bothered to drive for an hour and ten minutes to Permaisuri and then drive for an hour and a half back at the end of the day. Afterall, the other MO is finally back from her induction course, so, let her take care of some of my patients for a change...(pembuliiiii.....:))

I'm weird in the sense that when it's a working day, I often wish for just ten more minutes of sleep, but on my day off, it's get up and go, people..! It's already 6 thirty y'know!!! and off I go doing my errands or gardening or whatever. Yesterday was like that. The moment FIL has gone off menoreh and Abg and BIL has gone for work, I started on my beadwork for about an hour and then started to lay down the rest of the tikar getahs and then went off to the shops to get some staples to tack them down. Berpeluh2, okay...after that, I started on my ayam percik which took a good 2 hours jugak,just to get the santan to thicken nicely.

I really wanted to take pictures of the dish, tapi terlupa la pulak. I haven't made this in ages. When I was studying overseas and residing in Biggart House, I loved making it, much to the delight of the other Malaysian students tapi sejak kahwin nie, rasa macam malas la pulak. and it is quite cumbersome, first you have to boil the chicken pieces in some garlic and ginger and salt. Then the sauce takes about an hour to boil down to the right consistency. Then the process of barbequing it takes about an hour - but I must say, the fact that Abang had seconds and thirds was worth everything....

Me: Apa rasa?

Abg: Sedap.

Me: Boleh buat lagi?

Abg: Bolehhhhh.....

Me: *happy*

a boring entry...

I love blogs. I'm so addicted to blogs that the first thing I do when I'm logged on is to click on all my bookmarked blogs and see if they have any new entries. Yang patheticnya, when I'm on my lunch break and I'm at home, I STILL drop by to see if they have any new entries!! :)

To me, blogs give an insight into other people's lives and how they think. Sometimes I think I should be a psychologist - I just luuurrrrrve analysing what people say and why do they say the things they say. It's like, reality TV but you read instead of you watch. You get me..? :) and as I've said before, I believe that there is a voyeur inside each and everyone of us, and it's because of this trait that reality TV has become so successful today. But apart from a handful of those shows, I'm not really a fan. I've always loved reading. I can't stand having nothing to do so that's why I always have a book with me. I'm the type of person who reads in the toilet and I have a mini library in them!

I spend an average RM200 per month on reading material and I'd rather spend my dosh on books than the latest make up line or clothes (not that I can find many that fit me....Hahahaha..). When I was studying, the place that you'll definitely find me during the weekend is the public library.

In short, take away my TV, take away my chocolate covered digestives, but don't you dare lay your grimy hands on my Harry Potter collection! :)

But I digress - so anyhow, I think my blog is rather boring compared to the others that I've read. I love reading about Zetty's antics as she goes about her life, juggling work and family. She has a fantastic comedic (is that even a proper word? Sounds like something that grows on your face) sense about her. Her entries (apart from the recent ones about the loss in her life) almost always make me laugh out loud. RotiKacangMerah talks so sweetly about her husband and how they enjoy life together. Her cats are cute too!

Blogs add an extra bit of oomph in my other wise hum drum life. I will be sorry if/when my work gets a bit more hectic, that I won't have such pleasures anymore.

Here's to blogs and freedom of expression and the voyeurs in all of us! :)

A period of change

Yeay, my transfer has been finalised...!!

My FMS told me that my transfer letter has finally been sent and I am to report to Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Kelantan on the 2nd October. Yeay! Tapi sedih pun ada...

Life is a bit hectic what with fasting month coming soon, and me having to transfer stuff to the other half of the house so that the contractor will be able to complete renovation works by the beginning of Ramadhan...

FIL came with a lorry today to get some stuff away. Mostly the large stuff - my sofa (pleeeeease la don't smudge my lovely cream sofa okay......), the divan and the headboard (which has been rendered useless since we've been sleeping on the mattress, on the floor in front of the tv) and a wardrobe which has only been collecting dust in the master bedroom. Talking about that, I think from now on, I won't be needing wardrobes for my clothes. I'll just get those racks with wheels on, that you can hang clothes from. Kinda like the ones you see in supermarkets.

All you need are tons and tons of hangers. Easy peasy. Angkat je baju, just hang them on. No clutter, no folding (letih wo, lipat kain...:)). Yes, it won't look nice, but who'll see anyway, kan....

Had a weird day at the office this morning. I have a patient who has had 8 or maybe 9 kids already and currently at 32 weeks gestation. She's been complaining of contractions for the past one week and had just been discharged from the hospital in KT the day before.

This morning, she was rushed in, claiming she wants to 'teran' already. So my nurse pun kelam kabut put on her apron and got ready all her stuff to deliver this anticipated premature baby.

Put her in position, rupa2nya benda yang dia nak teran tu rupanya her vaginal wall prolapse! Even when my staff nurse dah 'relocated' it, she still insists that she wants to push. Walhal os is closed! Adduuuiii.....tension i..and this patient, when she's in between pregnancy, totally refuses contraception, that my nurses told me that at one time they had to chase her around the kampung to give her the Depo injection.

I'm not against having children. I tell my patients, kalau awak mampu dari segi zahir dan mampu bertanggungjawab pada anak2 awak, saya tak kisah awak nak berdozen2 anak pun. Tapi kalau anak berderet2 sampai awak tak cukup makan, selalu letih, anak sekolah keciciran, itu kah cara yang terbaik untuk menjaga amanah Allah ni? Memang betul tiap2 anak ada rezeki masing2 tapi rezeki tu masih perlu dicari. Bukan duduk saja di rumah pun masuk duit.....I think some of them go home and tell their husbands what I said, they must be thinking dr suriana is teaching wives to go against their husbands!!! :) :)

People-watching

Do you love to watch people like I do?

When I go out to places - hotels, shopping malls, hospitals, pasar malams - I tend to observe people. I love seeing kids and how easily they can make friends; one minute they are shyly peeking from behind mummy's skirt, one minute later they are holding hands and running all over the place. I love watching the mummies, often with a small one, chatting with other mummies about how Danish is just so 'buas' and how Qistina just loves playing with her lipstick.

I watch the dating couples - some so brazen, hands in each other's pockets and bodies so close together I can't tell which is which; and some so coy, they were walking about a feet apart.

I see the Politeknik students walk by. Boys, usually, in a group of 6-10 of them. T-shirts 1 size too small, thick rimmed plastic frames (which are usually non prescription glasses) and hair spiked in all directions. Not to forget the metal dog chain hung nonchalantly from the back trouser pocket to the front trouser pocket.

But most of all, people who line up for food are the ones that amuse me the most. I hate going to hotel buffets, mainly because I then become the hateful, laser mouthed me. What is it about free food that makes us monsters?

The first in line usually heap food like there's no tomorrow. And they take EVERYTHING. Prawns are usually very popular. Once they finish with the main dish counter, off they went again, this time heading to the dessert station and the process starts all over again. I tell you, I've seen some people actually trying to pull off the sugar decoration from the dessert table!

Me and Abg just love to watch and 'mengumpat' these people. Kiasu sungguh. And y'know what's the worst thing? They usually take a few mouthfuls and push the plate aside. Hello!!!!!! Ada org kebuluran, tau tak? Kat Malaysia pun ada org makan siput babi and you membazir makanan!

Why why why???? Just because you paid RM100 for your buffet, doesn't mean you can waste you know. Just take a little bit, actually put the food in your mouth and if you feel like having more, get up and take seconds la.....aiyo.

We used to love frequenting buffets (well, the only one worth going in KB for the fasting month is Renaissance and that isn't so great, but it's only RM55, so, fairlah...) but we figured, if RM20 is more than enough to get both of us food for both berbuka AND sahur, then we might as well stay at home and save our pahalas from being given to all those people that we are busily badmouthing...hehe...

Seperti kucing kehilangan anak...

Little kitty stayed with us that night - when Abg came home, it unashamedly went to bug Abg and menggesel2 ke kaki Abang and totally ignored me. Jeles saya! :)

Fed her chicken pieces and then left it to sleep outside.

The next morning it was still there, waiting for me to open the door and let it in. As I got ready for work, she was playing with the stuff that I have all over my floor. She looked so adorable...and I'm sure Abg won't object to me keeping her.

I left her at the porch this morning as I left for work and when I came back for lunch, she was nowhere to be seen....:(

Even later that evening, whenever I would hear a cat miaowing, I'd jump and run to the door, hoping it'd be my little kitty.....apa nak buat, takde jodoh jadi kucing I la tu....As I said to Abg, 'macam hilang anak'.

The first cat I remember us (my family) having was a mongrel persian. We named her Parsen because she looked like a 'kucing Parsi' but not really. Parsen had a bad case of cat sinusitis and early in the morning, she'd sneeze and sneeze, just like my Ma before she had her op. Parsen was a model cat. Even when she was hungry, she'd never steal anything from the kitchen table. Whenever we'd bathe her, Parsen would never make a fuss, even when we shaped her long fur into mohawks..:) and would sit still when we were blow drying her.

She stayed with us the longest before she suddenly disappeared one day. Ma said maybe she went away somewhere else to die.

Later on we accumulated all sort of cats; all strays but still beautiful nevertheless and they all had their own sweet and sometimes naughty personality. Ponstan (yes, the painkiller) was the 'I-couldn't-care-less' type of cat. Brutal was as brutal looking as his name suggests. Mary and Harry came next. At one stage, Ma even named her kitten after a Cantonese drama serial character, I think! There were numerous others but I can't remember since I wasn't at home much those times.

But we would never forget Ma's favourite cat - Deeque. He was a short haired ginger. Nothing special but he was soooo manja and could never resist whenever Ma is reading the newspaper, Deeque would be jumping up and down, often would be sidling up to Ma's face to kiss her.

If Ma was sitting on the footstool watching TV, Deeque would climb unto her lap and sit among the folds of her housecoat, sort of being in a hammock. Come meal times, whatever his escapades are, Deeque would be running back whenever he'd hear Ma call his name.

I think Ma never recovered from Deeque's passing. Someone put out poison - we weren't sure if it was meant for rats and Deeque mistook it for food - and Deeque was found in the drain. We all cried that day.

After Deeque, Ma decided she wouldn't keep any more pet cats. I think she didn't want to run the risk of being hurt as she gets easily attached to her pets.

I guess when I found little black kitty under my silver Kenari, I was secretly hoping for my own little Deeque.

Here kitty kitty

Hectic day today. Pemeriksaan bakal haji is well underway and I've been trying slowly and surely to finish my 105 bakal hajis. Can't fit too many, as I'm worried about how my counter/registration staff is going to cope, what with the usual number of regular patients. I've gone through about 50-60 of them and the other clinics have yet to start. They all takpe la, ada 23 and 51 org aje....can finish in one go.

Anyway, I was the last person to leave the clinic as usual and found a lovely 'surprise' snoozing underneath the shade of my silver Kenari. The small black kitty wouldn't budge even when I started the engine and I didn't want to risk running over it as I drove out. So I very graciously (NOT) went on all fours and scooped it away.

For a split second I wanted to leave it there. I'm sure it belonged to either Kak K or Kak Yah's ever growing clan of cats, but it looked so adorable and soooo cute...


So, as I am writing this, the yet unnamed kitty is currently snoozing by my feet. I have no idea what I'm going to feed him tonight or where he's going to sleep. and furthermore, where am I leaving it when I leave for courses or FIL's house?

But I really really really wanna keep ittt.............!!!!!

Bila Abang Meredah Hujan

Di suatu petang, hujan turun lebat sekali. Dia menunggu dan menunggu hujan reda. Tempias hujan makin membasahi lantai porch klinik. Dia buntu. Di tangan kanannya, segugus kunci; untuk keretanya yg terletak cuma 100m tapi dihalangi hujan yang masih terus mencurah-curah. Di tangan kirinya, telefon bimbit yang hampir ditinggalkan di rumah tapi disuruh oleh Abang untuk dibawa - takut ada apa-apa nanti.

"Abang.....Abangggg.....!"

"Huh, apa dia?"

"Tak leh balikkkkk....hujannnnn....."

"Hahahaha...habis tu?"

"Marila amik Yanaaaaa.....amik payung, lepas tu kita balik ngan kereta...boleh ek?"

"Ish....takde kerja...."

"Alaaa....mai aaa. Kejap je...."

So Abang dan payung ungunya, berseluar pendeknya, berselipar orennya, meredah hujan lebat, meredah lopak air semata-mata untuk mengambil isterinya pulang.

Not a Siti related post, folks!

I will NOT write about Siti.

I will NOT write about Siti.



I wonder if my blog has any purpose? I see it as a place to let off some steam. I love to talk, yet I think some people might find me hard to digest. I tend to see things in a different perspective; one of the traits of an Aquarian, I guess. Here, I can write what I want and I don't have to worry if people get me or not, cos I don't really care...haha!

Which is why I am (most of the time...hehe) thankful that I somehow managed to find Abang among alllllll those people in the world. I mean, how lucky am I? To find the one person who seem to see things MY way. Yes, he has his own opinion, yet he respects me enough to accept my views too.

so Abg, yes, I might throw a temper tantrum now and again. Yes, I might stomp around when I see you snoozing in front of the TV when I have to cook in my lousy kitchen. Tapi, when you go and fry fish for dinner, slice onions for my favourite kuah kicap, and serve dinner, hati ini sejukkkkk kembali.

I love you Abang....

If only I had my camera

I now only have my living room and my kitchen....mana aku nak mandi weehhhhhhh?

Semlm, me and Abg berhujan membasuh tikar getah that we took off the floor. Kang bagi kat contractor buat, terkoyak rabak plak kang. Since the rubber mats are in relatively good condition, and are in big pieces, we were thinking we'd bring them back to FIL's house to replace the rubber mats in his house which are tahap nazak already.

This morning, the contractor came, took off a chunk of the wall and started tearing up the floor. Just now, I came back to two huge mounds of sand (habih pokok bunga akuuu) and just chaos.

I expected Abg to be home but his car buat hal, so he's stranded in Tok Bali with a leaking oil tank. He better come home cos I'm not cooking in this condition!!!

Waaaaa......rumah dinding reput and berkulat pun, at least I had a bathroom then....!

New arrival

Hannah's a big sis now.

Baby Blues - II

Lately, everyone seems to be having babies.


Sis got her number 2 - a nephew I am yet to see. They just named him yesterday, Wan Nazmi Hariz. It's supposed to have a meaning but I didn't ask. Wan Nadiah Hannah (niece number 1) seems pretty excited on the arrival of her baby brother. Unlike her mummy who cried and came down with a fever when sis Yanti was born...hahaha.

My FIL's neighbour's son, who got married about three months after I married Abang, also gave birth recently. Their first child, Natasha Aishah, is a frequent visitor during weekends. Abang's nieces just love her (when she's not crying, of course). They got a second daughter, Alia Nabila about a month ago.

Abang's friend who got married about 6 months after we did, also apparently just received their second bundle of joy.


and why am I telling you all this? Ho hum....I'm not sure really.

Lately, I feel as if I've got multiple personality disorder...if that's what you call it. On one hand I'm so eager for details of my nephew - everyday I'm texting my sisters asking this and that. Is the baby ok? Have the parents named him yet? Is he feeding well? All the things a good auntie should ask.


Yet.....every sliver of information I get, seems to tear at my heartstrings. Yet another reminder that all the feelings that sis Yanie is experiencing right now is still an alien thing to me. Regardless of how happy I am for her, I can never comprehend what joy it is motherhood can be. Abang has caught me crying - to him, for no particular reason, and I can't seem to bring myself to say all these thoughts out loud. Maybe saying it will only make it more hurtful...and sometimes I don't think I can stand it anymore.

Abang would always tease me that no matter how bad a situation is, I would always find something 'nasib baik' about it. For instance, if I saw someone by the roadside with a flat tire, I'd say "Nasib baik hari siang and tak hujan." "Nasib baik aje..." he would tease me.

Somehow, I can't seem to find any 'nasib baik's in this matter.....

Teka dialog mereka

referring to a newspaper article which mentioned their 'nama manja's for each other..

Siti: B..B....Tgk la, semuorg kata Mummy pakai tudung tak lawa, baju Mummy serabut, inai Mummy hitam sgt. Mummy sedih la B......
Datuk K: Iyer, B tau. Nanti kita buat press conference kita marah semuorg yang ckp macam tu, okey Mummy? Mummy jangan la tarik baju B macam tu, okey Mummy?

p/s: the nephew's name is Wan Nazmi Hariz.

Renjis-renjis dipilis...

Enough already!!!!

Tiap-tiap hari siti and datuk K, tiap2 hari siti and datuk K....boring giler.

Other people get married too, y'know, ...wait, other CELEBRITIES get married too, y'know tapi don't get OTT laaa....people are actually dying and homeless in other parts of the world....!!

I don't care if she's marrying a duda or a bachelor. I don't care if now a lot of her 'kipas susah mati's (die hard fans laa...) have now decided that their icon are no longer worthy of the space on their walls. I don't care that people are now saying that maybe a lot of the bad things they used to say about siti are probably true...and I certainly DO NOT care how much her wedding costs and how much is sponsored....

Maybe all this frivolosity will end after her marriage ceremony, some people may have thought - but I don't think so. After this people will wonder about their honeymoon, then when are they having their firstborn, where will they set up their marital home bla bla bla... and I just want all of it to end!

Seriously, you know it is getting ridiculous when there are newspaper articles suggesting Datuk K switch to boxers, or that he calls her Mummy!!!!!!!! (gross kinky or what...?)

Warning, this is a whiny post...

I seriously am not liking my life at the moment.

Dah la tak happy kat tempat kerja - having to deal with 'multi problematic' staff, heavy work load, patient and employer expectations etc etc, it is NOT helping that I live in a shitty house.

I live in my living room. My wardrobe, my bed, my TV, my computer is there - the only thing I am happy about is the amount of space.

I am NOT happy about the amount of rat faeces and rat pee that I find in my drawers everyday. I am not happy about the ant colonies that live in all the cracks that they could manage to find. I am not happy about the smelly, damp, useless cabinets that they installed in my kitchen - these only serve as homes to the abovementioned rats. I am not happy with the fact that my bathroom is so gross that I happily shower with the lights off. No amount of bleach or tile cleaner can make it less yucky than it already is. I hate that my toilet can't flush properly no matter how many pails of water I pour into it.

I hate the fact that I have two extra rooms that only serve as storerooms to the useless furniture which my employers say have no money to replace YET have to wait for 'kebenaran pelupusan' in order for me to get rid of them.

I find it ironic that KKM campaigns about eliminating rats, flies, cockroaches yet have no allocation for their staff to pay pest terminators.

I hate that my stupid employer are so lembab about fixing the phonelines at my workplace - when one phone rings, every goddamn phone in the whole building rings and I had to resort to using my own handphone to call and consult reagrding cases, or get appointments, - that my phone bill has reached a record amount.

and finally, I am pissed off by the fact that contractors are entering my house next week, shutting off one half of my stupid house so that they can replace the woodern floors with tiles. Dah la I am only able to use one bathroom, now you're shutting that off?

So in protest, I took the liberty of giving myself a day off today.

Baby blues

As of today Ma and Pa are now very proud grandparents to TWO grandchildren!! Yeay, congratulations to Tok Mama and Tok Papa......

Sister Yanie had just delivered a WHOPPING 4.5 kilo baby boy today via caesarian section. I think it must be all those restaurant meals that she's been having (under the pretense of getting toys for Hannah...hehehe) that has resulted in her little (NOT!) bundle of joy.

Anyway, everyone's relieved that at least the operation part is over. Ma has gotten her insides in a twist thinking about leaving Yanie in confinement by herself at home, now that she has to go send Yanti off to the in-laws. I guess a mother's job really is never done.

Dalam happy dpt anak sedara baru, ada jugak rasa sedih. Feeling sorry for myself lah........

Ada duit setambung pun tak guna juga kalau tak dapat apa yang diidamkan...

Seronoknya kahwin....

First things first, congratulations berjuta-juta lemon to my sister Yanti and her significant other, the newest addition to the family, Shaharani.



The couple were joined in matrimony on a sunny Friday afternoon and had their simple but joyous reception the next day.

Many a hair were teared out on nearing the day, but in the end, everything ended well and although I fell asleep, everyone else (including the bride and groom) watched Faizal win his Vios.

I am the first to admit that my relationship with Yanti hasn't been that great. Yanti and Yaya had always had a special bond, being closer age wise, sharing a room and having a penchant for cute guys on TV. So I was rather taken aback when she asked me what married life is like. I told her, 'Seronok.'....hehehe.... The truth mah. Betul apa. Regardless of what has happened between me and Abang, we still have a lot of fun together. Yes, tears have been shed, angry words have been hurled (mostly by me) but all that only makes the happy bits even more ..happy.

I told her to be patient, to put each other's needs first and first and foremostly, to have fun getting to know each other.

Tapi, as I watched the day fold out, I kinda envied Yanti. I envy the feelings of excitement, nervousness and thrill that only a bride can get on her wedding day. Of knowing that a whole new world is just waiting for her to be explored.

Not that I dislike what I have with Abang now. I love the familiarity and quiet contentment that we both share....but it will never be the same, kan?

Ma and Pa looked happy. Ma basically ran on adrenaline that day. Sampai ke Faizal 'senyum sokmo' nak nyanyi pun dia still takde selera nak makan. But she looked content. Maybe after three weddings, she's finally gotten her act together - which will be good, considering there's still Yaya left.



Yaya has jokingly said that she is now open to receiving marriage proposals from Ma's makcik friends. Guys she knows from Uni just aren't good enough. Anyone know where I can find a Fadzley double, call me, ok?